I work harder than others yet they're happier. Why?

Well, what can I say? I want to help you. I am very stressed as well because of my IT studies. It seems like you need to find some overriding source of happiness that makes your struggles seem insignificant. For my father, who was a CEO for 13 years, it was meditation. Now he teaches meditation and he says that he's happier than he's ever been.

Try different things, and find out what inspires you. It is the great fallacy of modern materialistic culture that having a job, owning a house and car, and having a wife and children are all we need to make us happy.

I've been through hell like your friend. I've been laid with filthy sluts, I've gone to jail, and been belted around a few times. I still drink, smoke and (occasionally) use drugs. Yet, for the most part, I am happy, because I have found myself, known myself and learnt to like myself.

I really recommend that you don't commit suicide! That won't solve anything, and it's bad karma. You just need to figure yourself out, I guess.

 

I consider the external world just another "stage" that people do their acting. I can't really believe 100% they say is true until I live a good amount of time near them. Opinion.

 

It is the root of the problem. If you fix that, if you stop destroying your soul through porn, then the other shit will take care of itself.

 

Nah, mate, don't hate. I can't imagine that growing up with trauma like that in the family is easy. His expression was inappropriate and we dealt with it but the feelings of anger and alienation behind those words still deserve compassion. They are not the words of someone who's at peace with the world. Hating isn't gonna help him come to peace, it's just gonna take it from you.

 

Why is it whenever anyone speaks contrary to anything nowadays, it's called "hate"?
Who mentioned "hate"?

 

You did. I was using your word.

 

Haha, well said @70DegreesNorth - I LOVE it! He said it again just a few hours before

 

I guarantee I didn't use it in the way it's defined in your PC lexicon.

 

Just going off the initial post, I would say there are a few important things to remember...

1. As someone else above me said, people put on a front. The people you see who seem so happy probably aren't as happy as they seem. They have plenty of their own issues that they don't want others to know about, so they don't mention those things.

2. Working hard is good, but sometimes the things that are good for you aren't necessarily the things that make you "happy." At least not immediately happy. For example, quitting porn is very good for you and will lead to a better life in the long-run, but if you focus on immediacy, it's really tough work and it might seem that you would be happier if you didn't give it up.

When I read the title of your post, my first thought was "well, maybe you aren't as happy as them, but that's not necessarily a bad thing." It all depends on what your focus is. If you want to be happy today, eat junk food, PMO, be lazy, etc, and you'll probably have a pretty fun day. But if you want to foster a better future for yourself, that takes work, and work is good but tough.

In other words, I think you're on the right track. Don't fall prey to the idea that happiness is most important. And as others have said, try to avoid comparisons, because they are never beneficial.

 

It's actually really simple: Happiness is a choice.

When we choose to appreciate what we do have and relish in the success of others we will feel happy.
It might seem counter-intuitive and pretty hard, but it's true. I can testify of it.

If you're too stubborn to try that just go on youtube and compare yourself to less fortunate people, it won't be real happiness, but it might dissolve a bit of your bitterness in the meantime. No offence <3

 

Try some classical yoga. Hatha yoga. Surya Namaskar.

 

The only thing I can offer based off the initial post is this:

Happiness is a moving target. We are always aiming for it.

Just because he had certain experiences does not mean yours are any less significant and vice versa.

You had responsibilities to adhere to and adherence to them isn't based on happiness IMO. Its moreso based on maturity and ability.

I'm sure you have experiences that he wishes he could have, like the stability of a gf that he can trust and love. Bet you didn't think of that.

Either way, one interaction doesn't tell you about his figurative cross to bear. We all have one, whether we lie about it or be truthful, it'll still be there.

 

I understand. You believe that attaining happiness requires a multi-dimensional strategy. I agree with you. What I want to impress upon you though, and this is what I was getting at in my first response, is that if you take more risks, put yourself out there more, you will be less likely to use PMO. Why? Because when you're out there taking risks, you NEED that sexual energy to give you that edge, that instinct which will allow you to succeed. When things are too safe, too cerebral, then sure, you can do X,Y,Z and have elaborate plans, but ultimately you know you are safe. When you don't know you are safe, that is when life becomes interesting, and in my view is where true happiness lies.

Do you see what I mean?

 

I encourage you to read the book of Job.