Emotional impact of P

I am starting to notice the emotional aspect of this addiction. I am noticing that I get WAY more insecure with my g/f now that I am not PMO. I believe the insecurities have always been there it's just something that I don't deal with. I think it's too early in the relationship to start having serious talks about it altho I may be wrong here. But not having PMO to deal with my insecurity is helpful but painful ya know? And I am making strides in becoming more confident and secure in myself as a man.

Here is the breakthrough I'm having right now. Before, I would always NEED sex and would get insecure when the girl I was with didn't want to have it. A part of that was I felt like I needed sexual intimacy to feel wanted and secure in the relationship because that's what I have trained myself to need - anytime I have ever felt insecure or depressed I have drowned myself in PMO. So from an emotional aspect I believe that the PMO and MO have had this impact on me beyond the "normal" physiological effects it has. This is groundbreaking for me. It gives me something else to work on. Now when I'm feeling insecure or jealous I remind myself that these are normal emotions, accept them, and don't try to "treat" them with clingy or sexually demanding behaviors which only serve to put unnecessary strain on the relationship.

The other part of my insecurity I think can be attributed to the fact that when I watch porn all I see is women who WANT or NEED the man and engage in sexual acts that display this affection. Altho this is to heighten the erotic nature of the videos I watch, I'm beginning to realize that this also has been serving another purpose: Setting unhealthy emotional expectations of women. We all know that porn creates unrealistic images of what "healthy" sex should be from a physical standpoint. But I've never thought about how this affects my emotional expectations of women. I've started to realize that porn has made me believe on some deep subconscious level that women will behave the way porn stars do when they truly desire you and that if they don't then they must not truly "want" you. I also believe that the media as a whole creates this image as well. But it's not true. Every woman is different - every person is different, rather. And we all express our emotions and intimacy in different ways. Porn has trained me to only be able to express my affection in a strictly sexual manner and, thus, I can only receive intimacy this way as well in order for me to feel secure in the relationship. This is a very groundbreaking discovery for me, especially since I am feeling so much insecurity right now and having to deal with it in ways OTHER than drowning myself in PMO. I'm having to keep my eyes and ears open for the other indicators that my g/f is attracted to me in order to feel the same level of affection. I'm learning a lot to say the least....