120 days PMO-free; I feel rebooted

Well, 120 days clean of PMO. I've posted before that, in hindsight, the first 30 days or so were like a pre-season where I learned how I needed to give up P and M. Since then, its now been over 90 days since using P or any type of M, or having a self-inflicted O.

I was skeptical about NoFap, a lot of the claims of becoming a new man, of gaining 'super powers', of clearing the brain fog, seemed hyperbolic; figured these were the people who had 'drank the kool-aid'... With the perspective 120 days later, i see the connection. Nofap doesn't magically do anything, but you clear so much space in your head, and for some of us, literally earn back waking hours per day to become things you wanted but couldn't find a way. For me, exercising to become fitter, meditating to have a calmer view of life, and engaging much more in my marriage to have a stronger connection.

One of the more salient benefits of quitting PMO I've received is an infinite improvement in the sex life in my marriage. My wife and I have had sex more in the four months of this reboot than in any entire year for the better part of two decades. We now spend time giving and receiving pleasure from each other. By just me clearing my mind of P-inspired vision of sex, i've been able to slow down and include my wife's pleasure and bring her to O consistently, something that happened rarely in recent years. My own O is something on a different planet now, it's no longer only me working towards O, which i would do with M or with real-life sex, but something my wife wants me to have, and happens when we are feeling a close connection. Completely different feeling than PMO.

If you are skeptical of the NoFap adventure, give it a try - a few days, a few weeks. You may just really like what you see in yourself after you do. Good luck.

 

Hey, @Ace.D! those are great questions. In terms of concentration and focus, I have seen some improvement, related to increased confidence and self-assuredness to battle back the forces that inhibit focus. nofap hasn't been a cure-all, but its helped me build my internal foundation of thinking. Like many in these times, i am in a work and community with constant multi-tasking demands; With NoFap, i have cleared space and time to exercise and meditate, so i can organize my thoughts better. i have more confidence when interacting with people of either gender - so i more commonly turn down tasks or delegate assertively. In terms of memory, that hasn't been a specific area of focus of mine, but similar to the question about concentration, with the head cleared a bit, I can more deliberate about what details i choose to consume, and which to discard. Hope this of help to you and good luck on your own NoFap goals!

 

Thank you for the warm wishes @Andyst343 ! My comment about the 'pre-season', for me it was about finding the ways that i could wean off of unhealthy behaviours around P,M,or O. Like the NFL preseason going on now, those teams have their playbook, but they have to try out certain special teams strategies, or try different defensive formations. NoFap may be the playbook, but what works for you, when you get an urge, get in a cold shower? Do you cutoff P cold-turkey or wean off? I detailed my techniques a bit in my 90 day post: https://www.NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/90-days-clean-progress-in-marriage-and-sex-life.72118/ I was still testing the limits around P, M, and O, was even still using my wife unhealthily just for O's during those first 30 days. If someone read my history and thought that i was only 90 days rebooted, i'd be OK with that label, too.
Congrats to you on getting to day 34. If you're getting concerned about lack of desire and symptoms, such as lack of erection - read up on flatline. and try to avoid testing yourself in any unhealthy ways. Day 30-60 can be tough as you start to hit the psychological urges, if you can make it past the physical urges (e.g. here's an itch, but i'm going to avoid scratching it) now you have to start pondering what who you will be without PMO in your life - it can help to think about what you're going to replace it with. It gets better as you start to visualize and see evidence of who you are becoming. Even when urges strike, you will know they are just distractions from your goal. Good luck in your continued journey!

 

Thanks @ivanhoe agreed, at that time, i was like the fish that ran headfirst into a wall, i said 'dam'.
What's next, well i don't want to go back, so i'm going to set my counter up and just continue to celebrate the time being PMO-free. Will stay vigilant about urges or situations that previously would have led me down unhealthy paths.