Day 300: Grow Up

Light139 · Sep 26, 2016

Ok this really speaks to me in a very good way. Thanks a lot.

LifeWorthLiving!!! · Oct 2, 2016

SolidSoldier said: ↑

Today is day 300 for me. Not 300 days of running from an addiction, not 300 days of being free of some mass scheme to hurt me, not 300 days of some never ending cycle of trigger avoidance and avoiding life. This has been one moment, 300 days ago, of GROWING UP.

It took me till I was almost 30 to become a man. I lacked responsibility, service to others and purpose. The key to coming out on top is growing up, becoming responsible for others and living life in a way that moves you.

Not thinking about others was my first fault. Not helping others and spending enough time in service was leading me astray. I had too much time and thought I was addicted to porn. I thought just like everyone else that porn was a plague of youth and was acting on me. WRONG. Porn is like eating sugar, is like spending money, is like buying clothes, shoes, and any other action of life. You got nothing to do, so you are bored, purposeless and fill time with a sense enjoyment. Guess what? Most people do that in some way and feel like shit afterwards. Stopping the whole addiction nonsense was key to putting the ownership of my laziness on me.

I am not an addict, never was. I was bored and had no one depending on me. Want to get out? Want to grow up? Becoming a man from a boy is simply getting responsible. You need to fill your time with life, with learning and with caring for others. Once I looked at the bigger picture and starting realizing that the way I act affects others, I was able to man up, grow up and get some work done.

Stop going backwards. Stop acting like a child or little kid who sees something and wants to touch it or put it in it's mouth. Become a productive member of society and get your hands dirty. Build things, learn new skills, meet people in real life, help change someone else by changing yourself.

I chose to use porn. I chose to waste time. Not because my brain was triggering a need for some chemical, but because life lacked meaning. I didn't realize my potential and I didn't think anyone else cared. Guess what: they do. Right now someone needs you to be strong, someone needs to lean on you for strength. Be there for them and stop the childish ways.

These past 300 days has brought 3 manuals of right living out of my mind. These past days have brought together hundreds of people that I rounded up who are now changing their lives and becoming the men they want to be. These days have also proven to me that I can accomplish anything, especially when the struggle begins in my own mind.

Stop this silliness. Go outside and breathe some real air. Use your computer for good, not for waste. Don't run from tech, tech is a beautiful thing and has uplifted society in countless ways. Use wisdom, don't just get upset and down - actually do something that changes you. Make your actions reflect your values. GET SOME VALUES. I know you got em inside.

My victory is just a part of the countless other cases of boys who realized that they were not teens anymore. The time had come to do some real work and start providing. I grew up and started my life as an actual adult. You can do the same because you have to. Life will not wait for you. Either you figure this out and get some damn courage or it will all float by as you waste away.

Don't worry about porn, because if you are weak minded then porn is the least of your problems. People are going to pass you up, your health will fall by the wayside without training and nutrition, your job will not promote you, time will pass and you end up as dust. Getting work done means moving, get moving. Fill up your list of to-dos and become a powerful being of success.

Relax, all you need to do is decide. If not today, then when? It is one decision to never go back to junk food, wasteful uses of your day, poor language, poor posture, not enough sunlight, it is all one big package. Choose wisely, because none of it waits for you. The great thing is, when you make that decision to step up, it is yours for the taking.
Click to expand...

GREAT post! Congrats on 300 days!

You put a lot of things into words that I have experienced. I will hit 132 no PMO this afternoon, and I too find that generosity is a key to breaking the cycle. Giving yourself away through service opportunities is a way that I have found myself. Before I would protect my time because I felt ashamed and I didn't want too many people demanding my attention. Basically I wanted free time to PMO. But PMO is not freedom, it never was freedom and it never will be freedom.

I also like your insight on growing up. Manhood is truly found by taking on responsibility and being willing to do what is hard. Generally speaking, the state of manhood is horrendous in our society. Too many men avoid doing the tough things in the hope that someone else will do it. It's no way to live. I lived like that for too long and I will never go back. Over the last 132 days I have done made some tough decisions and followed through in them and kept disciplines to support no PMO that were initially not easy. But the discipline paid off.

And I am constantly challenging myself to help others, even when my brain is saying no. This discipline has become an amazing way to rediscover life. It has to be kept in balance, in the sense that I must be mindful not to overcommit but I'm clearly not undercommitting anymore.

Thank you for that post. 300 days demonstrates a sense of integrity. This is not a phase - it's a life change.

Paulie · Oct 2, 2016

SolidSoldier said: ↑

Right now someone needs you to be strong, someone needs to lean on you for strength. Be there for them and stop the childish ways.
Click to expand...

This was something I needed to read. Thank you for the inspiration.

Headspace · Oct 2, 2016

Love your view man! Thanks a lot for your post, you saved me from some urges. (Or let's say you inspired me to save myself )

fapequalsdeath · Oct 2, 2016

I just read your post out loud so I can hear myself. It was way more uplifting because it was like I was talking to myself. And indeed much of what you said is what I would have said. The only difference is that I don't act on it. Well, it's never too late to start. You are right tho, if you are weak minded porn is the least of your problems. It is only a flaw of many, which often on this site is hyperbolized to a great extent. But of course, it promotes and is in correlation with other bad habits. So basically you need to exterminate them all to live a fulfilling life.

SolidSoldier · Oct 2, 2016

LifeWorthLiving!!! said: ↑

GREAT post! Congrats on 300 days!

You put a lot of things into words that I have experienced. I will hit 132 no PMO this afternoon, and I too find that generosity is a key to breaking the cycle. Giving yourself away through service opportunities is a way that I have found myself. Before I would protect my time because I felt ashamed and I didn't want too many people demanding my attention. Basically I wanted free time to PMO. But PMO is not freedom, it never was freedom and it never will be freedom...
Click to expand...

Glad it spoke to you. It speaks to people because it is not my teachings. It is the teaching of soul, of man itself. You know what to do already because you have too. Failing is all a part of life, it is good and needed. It is the failure that shows you how to succeed.

As I like to say, success is not winning, success is how you react to defeat.

SolidSoldier · Oct 2, 2016

Paulie said: ↑

This was something I needed to read. Thank you for the inspiration.
Click to expand...

You are very welcome. You would probably enjoy the trilogy in my signature.

Headspace said: ↑

Love your view man! Thanks a lot for your post, you saved me from some urges. (Or let's say you inspired me to save myself )
Click to expand...

Eventually urges will go, it all goes as you live a life full of meaning and purpose.

fapequalsdeath said: ↑

I just read your post out loud so I can hear myself. It was way more uplifting because it was like I was talking to myself. And indeed much of what you said is what I would have said. The only difference is that I don't act on it. Well, it's never too late to start. You are right tho, if you are weak minded porn is the least of your problems. It is only a flaw of many, which often on this site is hyperbolized to a great extent. But of course, it promotes and is in correlation with other bad habits. So basically you need to exterminate them all to live a fulfilling life.
Click to expand...

So good to hear you used the post as an audible affirmation. Affirmations are one of the most concrete ways we can retrain the mind.

Maxxx said: ↑

[Quote = "LifeWorthLiving !!!, posta: 613.227, membro: 84.257"] grande post! Congratulazioni per 300 giorni!

Questa disciplina è diventato un fantastico modo per riscoprire la vita.

[/ quote]

Thank you made me rediscover the discipline as a positive side
Click to expand...

Excellent point. Discipline is good. Without resistance we do not get stronger.

George Powers · Oct 3, 2016

SolidSoldier said: ↑

Today is day 300 for me. Not 300 days of running from an addiction, not 300 days of being free of some mass scheme to hurt me, not 300 days of some never ending cycle of trigger avoidance and avoiding life. This has been one moment, 300 days ago, of GROWING UP.

It took me till I was almost 30 to become a man. I lacked responsibility, service to others and purpose. The key to coming out on top is growing up, becoming responsible for others and living life in a way that moves you.

Not thinking about others was my first fault. Not helping others and spending enough time in service was leading me astray. I had too much time and thought I was addicted to porn. I thought just like everyone else that porn was a plague of youth and was acting on me. WRONG. Porn is like eating sugar, is like spending money, is like buying clothes, shoes, and any other action of life. You got nothing to do, so you are bored, purposeless and fill time with a sense enjoyment. Guess what? Most people do that in some way and feel like shit afterwards. Stopping the whole addiction nonsense was key to putting the ownership of my laziness on me.

I am not an addict, never was. I was bored and had no one depending on me. Want to get out? Want to grow up? Becoming a man from a boy is simply getting responsible. You need to fill your time with life, with learning and with caring for others. Once I looked at the bigger picture and starting realizing that the way I act affects others, I was able to man up, grow up and get some work done.

Stop going backwards. Stop acting like a child or little kid who sees something and wants to touch it or put it in it's mouth. Become a productive member of society and get your hands dirty. Build things, learn new skills, meet people in real life, help change someone else by changing yourself.

I chose to use porn. I chose to waste time. Not because my brain was triggering a need for some chemical, but because life lacked meaning. I didn't realize my potential and I didn't think anyone else cared. Guess what: they do. Right now someone needs you to be strong, someone needs to lean on you for strength. Be there for them and stop the childish ways.

These past 300 days has brought 3 manuals of right living out of my mind. These past days have brought together hundreds of people that I rounded up who are now changing their lives and becoming the men they want to be. These days have also proven to me that I can accomplish anything, especially when the struggle begins in my own mind.

Stop this silliness. Go outside and breathe some real air. Use your computer for good, not for waste. Don't run from tech, tech is a beautiful thing and has uplifted society in countless ways. Use wisdom, don't just get upset and down - actually do something that changes you. Make your actions reflect your values. GET SOME VALUES. I know you got em inside.

My victory is just a part of the countless other cases of boys who realized that they were not teens anymore. The time had come to do some real work and start providing. I grew up and started my life as an actual adult. You can do the same because you have to. Life will not wait for you. Either you figure this out and get some damn courage or it will all float by as you waste away.

Don't worry about porn, because if you are weak minded then porn is the least of your problems. People are going to pass you up, your health will fall by the wayside without training and nutrition, your job will not promote you, time will pass and you end up as dust. Getting work done means moving, get moving. Fill up your list of to-dos and become a powerful being of success.

Relax, all you need to do is decide. If not today, then when? It is one decision to never go back to junk food, wasteful uses of your day, poor language, poor posture, not enough sunlight, it is all one big package. Choose wisely, because none of it waits for you. The great thing is, when you make that decision to step up, it is yours for the taking.
Click to expand...

SolidSoldier,
Outstanding post. Thanks for sharing your insights.
-George

msmahamed · Oct 3, 2016

SolidSoldier said: ↑

Today is day 300 for me. Not 300 days of running from an addiction, not 300 days of being free of some mass scheme to hurt me, not 300 days of some never ending cycle of trigger avoidance and avoiding life. This has been one moment, 300 days ago, of GROWING UP.

It took me till I was almost 30 to become a man. I lacked responsibility, service to others and purpose. The key to coming out on top is growing up, becoming responsible for others and living life in a way that moves you.

Not thinking about others was my first fault. Not helping others and spending enough time in service was leading me astray. I had too much time and thought I was addicted to porn. I thought just like everyone else that porn was a plague of youth and was acting on me. WRONG. Porn is like eating sugar, is like spending money, is like buying clothes, shoes, and any other action of life. You got nothing to do, so you are bored, purposeless and fill time with a sense enjoyment. Guess what? Most people do that in some way and feel like shit afterwards. Stopping the whole addiction nonsense was key to putting the ownership of my laziness on me.

I am not an addict, never was. I was bored and had no one depending on me. Want to get out? Want to grow up? Becoming a man from a boy is simply getting responsible. You need to fill your time with life, with learning and with caring for others. Once I looked at the bigger picture and starting realizing that the way I act affects others, I was able to man up, grow up and get some work done.

Stop going backwards. Stop acting like a child or little kid who sees something and wants to touch it or put it in it's mouth. Become a productive member of society and get your hands dirty. Build things, learn new skills, meet people in real life, help change someone else by changing yourself.

I chose to use porn. I chose to waste time. Not because my brain was triggering a need for some chemical, but because life lacked meaning. I didn't realize my potential and I didn't think anyone else cared. Guess what: they do. Right now someone needs you to be strong, someone needs to lean on you for strength. Be there for them and stop the childish ways.

These past 300 days has brought 3 manuals of right living out of my mind. These past days have brought together hundreds of people that I rounded up who are now changing their lives and becoming the men they want to be. These days have also proven to me that I can accomplish anything, especially when the struggle begins in my own mind.

Stop this silliness. Go outside and breathe some real air. Use your computer for good, not for waste. Don't run from tech, tech is a beautiful thing and has uplifted society in countless ways. Use wisdom, don't just get upset and down - actually do something that changes you. Make your actions reflect your values. GET SOME VALUES. I know you got em inside.

My victory is just a part of the countless other cases of boys who realized that they were not teens anymore. The time had come to do some real work and start providing. I grew up and started my life as an actual adult. You can do the same because you have to. Life will not wait for you. Either you figure this out and get some damn courage or it will all float by as you waste away.

Don't worry about porn, because if you are weak minded then porn is the least of your problems. People are going to pass you up, your health will fall by the wayside without training and nutrition, your job will not promote you, time will pass and you end up as dust. Getting work done means moving, get moving. Fill up your list of to-dos and become a powerful being of success.

Relax, all you need to do is decide. If not today, then when? It is one decision to never go back to junk food, wasteful uses of your day, poor language, poor posture, not enough sunlight, it is all one big package. Choose wisely, because none of it waits for you. The great thing is, when you make that decision to step up, it is yours for the taking.
Click to expand...

Great job man

getontop · Oct 3, 2016

A wonderful post and a sentiment I completely agree with. Bad habits, or behaviours, perpetuate because they have become the subconscious norm. From a brain perspective, you cannot render these pathways obsolete by simply believing or being motivated for change - they do not respond to this. Rather, we must do. We must act. Our physical behaviour is key.

nofear · Oct 4, 2016

You are the same man today as this 300 day mark in the future. All you must do is start being that person. I was that person on day 2 as I am on day 302, just never looked back to the person on day 0.[/QUOTE]

Wow! Certainly the most powerful words I've read today. Thank you.

bodigura · Oct 5, 2016

my life lack of meaning too. when your life in the comfort zone, you tend to waste the time

SolidSoldier · Oct 5, 2016

George Powers said: ↑

SolidSoldier,
Outstanding post. Thanks for sharing your insights.
-George
Click to expand...

You are very welcome. May you have honor in your own maturity.

msmahamed said: ↑

Great job man
Click to expand...

Many thanks. Feels good to hear that after a while has passed.

getontop said: ↑

A wonderful post and a sentiment I completely agree with. Bad habits, or behaviors, perpetuate because they have become the subconscious norm. From a brain perspective, you cannot render these pathways obsolete by simply believing or being motivated for change - they do not respond to this. Rather, we must do. We must act. Our physical behavior is key.
Click to expand...

So true, most elegantly said. Affirmations are one of the most concrete ways we train our mind and rewrite the synapsis that fire back and forth. I use affirmation training in my work over at Reddit and in the manuals.

afraid said: ↑

You are the same man today as this 300 day mark in the future. All you must do is start being that person. I was that person on day 2 as I am on day 302, just never looked back to the person on day 0....

Wow! Certainly the most powerful words I've read today. Thank you.
Click to expand...

You might like my other work, all 3 short manuals in my signature.

Deleted Account · Oct 6, 2016

this is excellent. great job.

SolidSoldier · Oct 18, 2016

Basi said: ↑

this is excellent. great job.
Click to expand...

Thanks and may you have honor and courage in your own journey. There is no luck.

Sam@89 · Oct 24, 2016

SolidSoldier said: ↑

Thanks and best of honor in your mission.

It's never too late, but eventually one day the heart stops and then it is too late. Having to be reborn again for this nonsense is not a good idea. Finish what you started.

Thanks Mad. Don't get down, get productive. I have tips for dealing with the past in my first body of work, linked in my signature: Manual of Success.

Sure, will write again in another 100 days most likely.

Yes we often are not taught this anymore since we no longer have role models, guides, wisemen or fathers. Everyone is off getting divorced and the tribe has disbanded. It's time to man up and take care of our sons.

Thanks and best of honor to you and your journey. Every struggle is good. No strong man was ever built without resistance. Robert Speer.

You are the same man today as this 300 day mark in the future. All you must do is start being that person. I was that person on day 2 as I am on day 302, just never looked back to the person on day 0.
Click to expand...

The last line is gold.I guess that is the only way out.Move forward once.Never look back.

Xience · Jun 22, 2017

True in many ways.

Deficient in others but mostly true.

Xience · Jun 22, 2017

I wonder why OP deleted.

Not really relevant but one more thought, should a 13 year old boy on this forum become a real man, a fully grown grown-up? Is that really what needs to be done to kick porn.

No need to answer anyone.

Bran Cao · Jun 23, 2017

like you man， you`re great!

goodnice 2.0 · May 8, 2022

one of the most powerful posts on this forum. Bumping so others see it! This spoke to me so deeply and profoundly, thank you OP for this. You are THE MAN

"i think that's why having pets can REALLY calm the urge to fap, because it is a completely platonic way of connection outside the self as C.S lewis explains, a fullfillment of that basic desire.

once i lost my dog, i would tell, the urge just totally engulfed me. having the dog really calmed that compulsion a lot.

even a rabbit, or guinnea pig, can really make you focus your thoughts on another living being, and connecting with it emotionally is the strongest antitode to insanity level fapping i've ever felt"
- anecdote from Great Quote | NoFap®

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