Emergency Toolbox that helped me during my first 320 days of reboot

fercho29 · Jul 23, 2016

Jodo Kus said: ↑

Great OP! I didn't read too much here, but it inspired me. My idea: I'll use a voice-record as an Emergency Toolbox. Maybe just one message: from a moment of full success and happiness in life. (Maybe another one from after a binge, but I'm not sure if I need this, also I don't want to wait for a relapse)
Click to expand...

That is a great idea @Jodo Kus , any tool that suits you will be useful.
It is not so easy to quit porn, so we need to get creative
Keep on fighting
Fercho

renowned fighter · Jul 23, 2016

fercho29 said: ↑

I am happy that this helped you @lk137 , and welcome to NoFap.

I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318

You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2

I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.

Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too.

I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.

Fercho
Click to expand...

Thanks man! Just what I needed. I'm just a newbie and I'm kinda lost. Your reply helped me find my way. Thank you for the tips and pieces of advice! Regards to you my friend. Let's continue fighting!

fercho29 · Jul 24, 2016

lk137 said: ↑

Thanks man! Just what I needed. I'm just a newbie and I'm kinda lost. Your reply helped me find my way. Thank you for the tips and pieces of advice! Regards to you my friend. Let's continue fighting!
Click to expand...

Glad this stuff was useful @lk137
Let me know if you need any help
Fercho

Anotheraddict · Jul 28, 2016

Thank you! I really need help and I think this will help me a lot

fercho29 said: ↑

Hi Guys:
I want to update my "Emergency Toolbox" with all the new stuff I have been compiling during these 10 and a half months.
I called "Emergency Toolbox" to some readings that I saves in my cell phone Notes to have them handy to read in "case of emergency" (meaning when I get urges).
They were very helpful, specially the first few months, when I struggled a lot and felt that I could not stand the suffering and needed to relapse.
Reading this helped me focus, and also remember how bad I felt when I started reboot and how much I have moved forward since then. Many times they saved me, I hope they will be helpful for you too.
I just wrote a few, all the rest I copied from other NoFap posts or took them from other websites or videos.

1. The NF journey (I took this from NoFap reddit, I find this is the best description of how shitty we feel as PMO addicts)

Been here for a while on this throwaway, but this is my first ever post.

I lost count of my streak (been a few months) and the mere thought of fapping just makes me sick nowadays. I can't even imagine myself returning to my old ways. Ever.

Just the thoughts of:

• Being a creepy, lonely fucker- sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a mechanical, cold computer screen that does not give a damn about you.

• The sweaty hands and balls, stinking crotch and heavy, animalistic breathing- like you're a fiendish creature. The more you watch and wank, the more disturbing your fetish gets. You end up watching gay sex when your not even turned on by gay sex. Beastiality. Peadophilia. You name it. It erodes your conscience. You're a beast.

• The frying of your dopamine receptors- and your mind is submerged; eroding in a chemical bath. You're somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.

• The mindless, 5 seconds worth of numbness upon orgasm (I say numbness- this isn't pleasure not even close). Forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post orgasm. Just the blurry vision and aching heart. Your dick hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.

• Your load- the millions of sperm, the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and thrown in the bin. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, spat out and killed, left to rot in the rubbish because of your selfish, ghastly desires.

• And that EMPTY ass feeling when it's all over- you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC because you suddenly fucking hate it. It's the worst thing ever at this point.

• Then that burning sensation of regret as you sit there alone. Thinking "What the fuck". You spend the rest of the day alone- weakness, anxiety, depression all kicks in 10x worse than before you PMO'd. Video games are your friend- they don't judge you for being so vile. Soulless, mechanical mediums suddenly replace intimacy with real people.

• You can't look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her, you can't go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can't imagine helping your sister with her homework because the thought of being alone in a room with a "vagina" instantly means you must fuck it.

• Withdrawal from closest friends who cannot help you because they've no idea what the problem is. Grades suffer- future looks bleak. Think about ending it, suicide. Think about cutting yourself, drugs, prostitutes... And then realise you're a pathetic fuck who hasn't got the balls to do either-

• And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.

NoFappers, looking back at these points in my life, I hand on heart swear that PMO addiction is the worst thing to have ever happened to me. It sickens me thinking of these points in my life, and I vow I'll never return to this endless cycle of misery.

And I hope that those out there reading this can relate to my experiences, and see in writing how pathetic it is to give in to these urges. See with your own eyes and learn from my experiences about about how PMO lifestyle is just a downward spiral. And find it within yourself to bring yourselves out of this pit of darkness.

It's not worth it at all is it? Don't destroy your valuable, short time on this earth. Live it to the fullest, and live it well. There are no second chances.

I wish you all the best,

2. This has became my life motto, I repeat it to myself every time I feel an urge, I took it from some inspirational video:

"To figure out if something is good for you, you have to ask two simple questions : where does it lead me? And how will it leave me?"

"For every urge you face, you give yourself a choice. Do you give in, or do you outlast the urge? No urge is uncontrollable. No matter how shitty how situation is at the time, you can always make the right decision to walk away and stay clean."

3. "...maybe we shouldn't even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we're happy and healthy, we'll bond and connect with each other, but if you can't do that, because you're traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that's our nature. That's what we want as human beings."
From a TED Talk inspirational video

4. Carpe Diem, seize the day, make your life extraordinary:

Why he has the right to use these lines?

…because we are food for worms. Because believe it or not, each and every one of us one day we will stop breathing, turn cold and die. They believed that they were destined for great things; their eyes were full of hope. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary."
Robin Williams in "Dead Poets Society"

5. I guess it comes down to only two options; get busy living...or get busy dying." - Andy Dufraene

6. "They are human beings, they are simple guys, they are not Adonis, some god that I need to idolize".
A recommendation from my good friend @JoeinMD

7. "It's this ethical, moral paralysis that I have been dumbfounded by many times - I've literally have caught myself going into a comatose state and becoming numb in my mind, letting my ethical voice get suspended (I've even acknowledged this happening in the past, but let it happen still), so that one lapsing moment, one-second of consent in will, relinquishes me to the downfall and shit of addiction once again. I've seen it unfold before me many times and have still chosen the sickness. "

8. “I'm worth more than a dark room wank to a pixilated babe who name you'll never even know.”

9. “There is nothing as powerful as a change of mind.
You can change everything else, but if you do not change your mind the same experiences will perpetuate over and over again because everything outwardly changes but nothing inside you changes.
If you want to change something in your life, if there is some goal you want to reach, changing your behavior and overcoming negative habits is something challenging and hard.
The only thing that will make you happy is to step up, discover what you are capable and feel that incredible power pushing though wherever is holding you back, and get to the other side.
How much time do you have left? We do not know. Stop wasting valuable time, if you want something you have to be relentless.
The ability to face sweat again and again without giving up is the power to endure, this is the winner quality. This power only becomes available when somebody is in that state of mind when he or she knows exactly what wants and is fully determined not to quit until they find it.
You are unstoppable; love your life with passion.
I've got what it takes. This is my day, and nothing out here is going to stop me.”

From "Mindshift", a motivational video.

10. “I realized I was not using porn because it felt good. I came to view porn as a way to run away from pain and loneliness.
I was feeling bad and I can just turn on porn and I can forget the world, forget myself, forget my problems; run away from everything and just lose myself for some moments.
I feel awake now, and being awake hurts but it also feels incredible.
Despite all the pleasure that you can get from porn, I do not have any cherished memories from watching porn.
I indulged in fantasy all that time and I ran away from reality.
I feel more connected to every moment in my own life now and every moment is more powerful without porn.
I love my life so much now that I am not running away from my life anymore.”

11. "This isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge."

From the movie “St. Elmo’s Fire”

12. All limiting beliefs are rooted in fear. Fear is the aversion to discomfort and pain.

Pretty much every problem we face as humans comes back to fear. This is because all of our problems come from trying to avoid discomfort and pain. This pain can be physical, emotional, or mental. This pain that we are resisting can be the pain of having to detach from a desire, the fear of moving forward in uncertainty, or the fear of facing our own truth.I believe that many people’s reliance on porn is because they have not learned how to effectively manage this stress. Porn and orgasm are such powerful levels of stimulation that they can make you forget about your worries for a while. For many people, they may feel that PMO is the only escape they have to deal with the troubles in their lives.

If you want to make your reboot easier, then you need to learn how to create your own security.

Otherwise, you risk the chance of getting overwhelmed, panicking, and turning to porn to escape the discomfort of your own self-created stress. If you feel like you aren’t creating your own stress and it’s some external circumstance’s fault, then you aren’t taking ownership of your own perceptions.

An even simpler argument is that, just by looking at the design, we can clearly conclude that the penis was made for the vagina, not the hand, and semen was made for fertilizing eggs, not for fertilizing tissues. Throw a computer screen and infinite pixilated hotties into the mix and masturbation seems anything but natural.

Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy

13. “The more heavily you’ve identified with something, the more it has become a part of you. Just like when part of your body gets cut off and you feel pain, when an emotional attachment gets cut off, it hurts. This is the pain that we cannot avoid, no matter how good we are at modifying our own emotions.

Here is where the turmoil lies: your intellect realizes that the path of lust (and lack) leads nowhere truly worth going, but your subconscious wants to cling to the fleeting-but-familiar pleasures of this road. Your subconscious is afraid of finding a new path. It protests:

“What if there is no happiness to be found out there? We should keep trying lust, maybe we will be happy if we have sex with someone hot enough. If we stray from this path then we might not find anything, and if there’s nothing better out there, then we’re better off sticking with the pleasure we know we can find on this trail.”

So what we are seeing here is that in order to gain freedom, we must detach. This detachment requires that we sacrifice our current experience of comfort to eventually gain a new experience a new, less conditional, form of comfort

Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy

14. I noticed that you are a Bible reader, i think that a scripture that really ties to this is James 1:14,15, it is natural to be lured by and enticed by our wrong thoughts or desires, its when we let those thought become reality that we head down the path to death, or in the case of PMO or acting out i usually think of it as the DARKNESS because that is how it makes me feel to the core of my soul... Choosing is our defense against the addict, it is what makes us our true self, it is the reminder that we are responsible for our actions, not our every thought... keep making the right choices where ever you are in the funnel, remembering that you can still get out, and when you do, which i am sure you will again and again (because the funnel is just part of our lives even when we are beyond the current state, because sex is a natural part of our being), be proud because that is the feeling that you want to keep getting... you want the joy of success which is much stronger than the fear of failure...

15. "A Slip Does Not Need to Become a Slide":
If you slip, your addict may tell you to just keep going: ”Since you’ve already slipped, you might as well do more.” But if you start to slip, or you do slip, that doesn’t mean you need to continue to slide. What if you were on a mountainside and you slipped? Would you give up and just keep sliding until you fell off the mountain? Or would you try to get a foothold and keep climbing upward? If you slip in your recovery, you can still stop right there and just keep climbing. You might have some ground to make up, but you can do it. You have the tools.
A crisis can be a gold mine. That may sound contradictory, but it’s true. For example, if you’re triggered and you successfully resist, you will less likely to be triggered next time. We all live in worlds of chaos and unpredictable moments. When you are prepared, you can turn what could have been a slip into another positive step in your recovery.

16. I can't over-emphasize this enough......all of those white knuckle battles.....all of the moments of feeling like I was going to slip....that it was INEVITABLE that I would......feeling that even if I make it through tonight, there is no way an hell I can do this "forever". Those battles MUST be won. Over and over and over until the become less and and less frequent......and then one day its like they stop. Not because urges go away, per se......but because THE ADDICT gets tired of losing. HE learns that there is just no easy way to get us to slip. That we are ready to white knuckle and fight through ANYTHING. And once the addict realizes this, HE doesn't want to go through the pain of continued defeat.

@cpf from NoFap

17. I was sitting in my garden drinking a fruit juice. I’d just indulged in a porn fest (even though I really didn’t want to) and was feeling… weak and controlled. I no longer felt that I had a choice. The urge came on. I indulged it. I felt shit afterward. It had become a habitual cycle. I knew that I wanted to lose this addiction, but I just couldn’t find enough reason to stop. I kept rationalizing that “a little bit won’t do you any harm.”

Deep down I also knew that the little bit was getting bigger and bigger. It needed to be stopped.

The Wasp story
Click to expand...

fercho29 · Jul 28, 2016

Anotheraddict said: ↑

Thank you! I really need help and I think this will help me a lot
Click to expand...

I am glad it helps you @Anotheraddict

I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318

You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:

http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2
Ocultar el mensaje original

I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.

Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too.

I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.

Fercho

Anotheraddict · Jul 29, 2016

Thank you for these!

fercho29 said: ↑

I am glad it helps you @Anotheraddict

I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318

You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2
Ocultar el mensaje original

I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.

Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too.

I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.

Fercho
Click to expand...

Gotbn · Jul 29, 2016

fercho29 said: ↑

Hi Guys:
I want to update my "Emergency Toolbox" with all the new stuff I have been compiling during these 10 and a half months.
I called "Emergency Toolbox" to some readings that I saves in my cell phone Notes to have them handy to read in "case of emergency" (meaning when I get urges).
They were very helpful, specially the first few months, when I struggled a lot and felt that I could not stand the suffering and needed to relapse.
Reading this helped me focus, and also remember how bad I felt when I started reboot and how much I have moved forward since then. Many times they saved me, I hope they will be helpful for you too.
I just wrote a few, all the rest I copied from other NoFap posts or took them from other websites or videos.

1. The NF journey (I took this from NoFap reddit, I find this is the best description of how shitty we feel as PMO addicts)

Been here for a while on this throwaway, but this is my first ever post.

I lost count of my streak (been a few months) and the mere thought of fapping just makes me sick nowadays. I can't even imagine myself returning to my old ways. Ever.

Just the thoughts of:

• Being a creepy, lonely fucker- sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a mechanical, cold computer screen that does not give a damn about you.

• The sweaty hands and balls, stinking crotch and heavy, animalistic breathing- like you're a fiendish creature. The more you watch and wank, the more disturbing your fetish gets. You end up watching gay sex when your not even turned on by gay sex. Beastiality. Peadophilia. You name it. It erodes your conscience. You're a beast.

• The frying of your dopamine receptors- and your mind is submerged; eroding in a chemical bath. You're somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.

• The mindless, 5 seconds worth of numbness upon orgasm (I say numbness- this isn't pleasure not even close). Forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post orgasm. Just the blurry vision and aching heart. Your dick hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.

• Your load- the millions of sperm, the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and thrown in the bin. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, spat out and killed, left to rot in the rubbish because of your selfish, ghastly desires.

• And that EMPTY ass feeling when it's all over- you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC because you suddenly fucking hate it. It's the worst thing ever at this point.

• Then that burning sensation of regret as you sit there alone. Thinking "What the fuck". You spend the rest of the day alone- weakness, anxiety, depression all kicks in 10x worse than before you PMO'd. Video games are your friend- they don't judge you for being so vile. Soulless, mechanical mediums suddenly replace intimacy with real people.

• You can't look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her, you can't go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can't imagine helping your sister with her homework because the thought of being alone in a room with a "vagina" instantly means you must fuck it.

• Withdrawal from closest friends who cannot help you because they've no idea what the problem is. Grades suffer- future looks bleak. Think about ending it, suicide. Think about cutting yourself, drugs, prostitutes... And then realise you're a pathetic fuck who hasn't got the balls to do either-

• And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.

NoFappers, looking back at these points in my life, I hand on heart swear that PMO addiction is the worst thing to have ever happened to me. It sickens me thinking of these points in my life, and I vow I'll never return to this endless cycle of misery.

And I hope that those out there reading this can relate to my experiences, and see in writing how pathetic it is to give in to these urges. See with your own eyes and learn from my experiences about about how PMO lifestyle is just a downward spiral. And find it within yourself to bring yourselves out of this pit of darkness.

It's not worth it at all is it? Don't destroy your valuable, short time on this earth. Live it to the fullest, and live it well. There are no second chances.

I wish you all the best,

2. This has became my life motto, I repeat it to myself every time I feel an urge, I took it from some inspirational video:

"To figure out if something is good for you, you have to ask two simple questions : where does it lead me? And how will it leave me?"

"For every urge you face, you give yourself a choice. Do you give in, or do you outlast the urge? No urge is uncontrollable. No matter how shitty how situation is at the time, you can always make the right decision to walk away and stay clean."

3. "...maybe we shouldn't even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we're happy and healthy, we'll bond and connect with each other, but if you can't do that, because you're traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that's our nature. That's what we want as human beings."
From a TED Talk inspirational video

4. Carpe Diem, seize the day, make your life extraordinary:

Why he has the right to use these lines?

…because we are food for worms. Because believe it or not, each and every one of us one day we will stop breathing, turn cold and die. They believed that they were destined for great things; their eyes were full of hope. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary."
Robin Williams in "Dead Poets Society"

5. I guess it comes down to only two options; get busy living...or get busy dying." - Andy Dufraene

6. "They are human beings, they are simple guys, they are not Adonis, some god that I need to idolize".
A recommendation from my good friend @JoeinMD

7. "It's this ethical, moral paralysis that I have been dumbfounded by many times - I've literally have caught myself going into a comatose state and becoming numb in my mind, letting my ethical voice get suspended (I've even acknowledged this happening in the past, but let it happen still), so that one lapsing moment, one-second of consent in will, relinquishes me to the downfall and shit of addiction once again. I've seen it unfold before me many times and have still chosen the sickness. "

8. “I'm worth more than a dark room wank to a pixilated babe who name you'll never even know.”

9. “There is nothing as powerful as a change of mind.
You can change everything else, but if you do not change your mind the same experiences will perpetuate over and over again because everything outwardly changes but nothing inside you changes.
If you want to change something in your life, if there is some goal you want to reach, changing your behavior and overcoming negative habits is something challenging and hard.
The only thing that will make you happy is to step up, discover what you are capable and feel that incredible power pushing though wherever is holding you back, and get to the other side.
How much time do you have left? We do not know. Stop wasting valuable time, if you want something you have to be relentless.
The ability to face sweat again and again without giving up is the power to endure, this is the winner quality. This power only becomes available when somebody is in that state of mind when he or she knows exactly what wants and is fully determined not to quit until they find it.
You are unstoppable; love your life with passion.
I've got what it takes. This is my day, and nothing out here is going to stop me.”

From "Mindshift", a motivational video.

10. “I realized I was not using porn because it felt good. I came to view porn as a way to run away from pain and loneliness.
I was feeling bad and I can just turn on porn and I can forget the world, forget myself, forget my problems; run away from everything and just lose myself for some moments.
I feel awake now, and being awake hurts but it also feels incredible.
Despite all the pleasure that you can get from porn, I do not have any cherished memories from watching porn.
I indulged in fantasy all that time and I ran away from reality.
I feel more connected to every moment in my own life now and every moment is more powerful without porn.
I love my life so much now that I am not running away from my life anymore.”

11. "This isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge."

From the movie “St. Elmo’s Fire”

12. All limiting beliefs are rooted in fear. Fear is the aversion to discomfort and pain.

Pretty much every problem we face as humans comes back to fear. This is because all of our problems come from trying to avoid discomfort and pain. This pain can be physical, emotional, or mental. This pain that we are resisting can be the pain of having to detach from a desire, the fear of moving forward in uncertainty, or the fear of facing our own truth.I believe that many people’s reliance on porn is because they have not learned how to effectively manage this stress. Porn and orgasm are such powerful levels of stimulation that they can make you forget about your worries for a while. For many people, they may feel that PMO is the only escape they have to deal with the troubles in their lives.

If you want to make your reboot easier, then you need to learn how to create your own security.

Otherwise, you risk the chance of getting overwhelmed, panicking, and turning to porn to escape the discomfort of your own self-created stress. If you feel like you aren’t creating your own stress and it’s some external circumstance’s fault, then you aren’t taking ownership of your own perceptions.

An even simpler argument is that, just by looking at the design, we can clearly conclude that the penis was made for the vagina, not the hand, and semen was made for fertilizing eggs, not for fertilizing tissues. Throw a computer screen and infinite pixilated hotties into the mix and masturbation seems anything but natural.

Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy

13. “The more heavily you’ve identified with something, the more it has become a part of you. Just like when part of your body gets cut off and you feel pain, when an emotional attachment gets cut off, it hurts. This is the pain that we cannot avoid, no matter how good we are at modifying our own emotions.

Here is where the turmoil lies: your intellect realizes that the path of lust (and lack) leads nowhere truly worth going, but your subconscious wants to cling to the fleeting-but-familiar pleasures of this road. Your subconscious is afraid of finding a new path. It protests:

“What if there is no happiness to be found out there? We should keep trying lust, maybe we will be happy if we have sex with someone hot enough. If we stray from this path then we might not find anything, and if there’s nothing better out there, then we’re better off sticking with the pleasure we know we can find on this trail.”

So what we are seeing here is that in order to gain freedom, we must detach. This detachment requires that we sacrifice our current experience of comfort to eventually gain a new experience a new, less conditional, form of comfort

Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy

14. I noticed that you are a Bible reader, i think that a scripture that really ties to this is James 1:14,15, it is natural to be lured by and enticed by our wrong thoughts or desires, its when we let those thought become reality that we head down the path to death, or in the case of PMO or acting out i usually think of it as the DARKNESS because that is how it makes me feel to the core of my soul... Choosing is our defense against the addict, it is what makes us our true self, it is the reminder that we are responsible for our actions, not our every thought... keep making the right choices where ever you are in the funnel, remembering that you can still get out, and when you do, which i am sure you will again and again (because the funnel is just part of our lives even when we are beyond the current state, because sex is a natural part of our being), be proud because that is the feeling that you want to keep getting... you want the joy of success which is much stronger than the fear of failure...

15. "A Slip Does Not Need to Become a Slide":
If you slip, your addict may tell you to just keep going: ”Since you’ve already slipped, you might as well do more.” But if you start to slip, or you do slip, that doesn’t mean you need to continue to slide. What if you were on a mountainside and you slipped? Would you give up and just keep sliding until you fell off the mountain? Or would you try to get a foothold and keep climbing upward? If you slip in your recovery, you can still stop right there and just keep climbing. You might have some ground to make up, but you can do it. You have the tools.
A crisis can be a gold mine. That may sound contradictory, but it’s true. For example, if you’re triggered and you successfully resist, you will less likely to be triggered next time. We all live in worlds of chaos and unpredictable moments. When you are prepared, you can turn what could have been a slip into another positive step in your recovery.

16. I can't over-emphasize this enough......all of those white knuckle battles.....all of the moments of feeling like I was going to slip....that it was INEVITABLE that I would......feeling that even if I make it through tonight, there is no way an hell I can do this "forever". Those battles MUST be won. Over and over and over until the become less and and less frequent......and then one day its like they stop. Not because urges go away, per se......but because THE ADDICT gets tired of losing. HE learns that there is just no easy way to get us to slip. That we are ready to white knuckle and fight through ANYTHING. And once the addict realizes this, HE doesn't want to go through the pain of continued defeat.

@cpf from NoFap

17. I was sitting in my garden drinking a fruit juice. I’d just indulged in a porn fest (even though I really didn’t want to) and was feeling… weak and controlled. I no longer felt that I had a choice. The urge came on. I indulged it. I felt shit afterward. It had become a habitual cycle. I knew that I wanted to lose this addiction, but I just couldn’t find enough reason to stop. I kept rationalizing that “a little bit won’t do you any harm.”

Deep down I also knew that the little bit was getting bigger and bigger. It needed to be stopped.

The Wasp story
Click to expand...

If I was to make a list of the best posts I've read on nofap, then this will certainly be somewhere in the top 3. Hats off, simply amazing.

fercho29 · Jul 29, 2016

Gotbn said: ↑

If I was to make a list of the best posts I've read on NoFap, then this will certainly be somewhere in the top 3. Hats off, simply amazing.
Click to expand...

Thank you so much for your compliments @Gotbn
This compilation of posts and writings was a big key for my reboot success
I wish they can be useful for you too
Fercho

Gotbn · Jul 30, 2016

@fercho29 just a question. What does the green sign with the crown under your name mean?

fercho29 · Jul 30, 2016

Gotbn said: ↑

@fercho29 just a question. What does the green sign with the crown under your name mean?
Click to expand...

Hi @Gotbn , it means that I contribute monthly to this site
NoFap does not sell advertising not they sell member's list, so @alexander does not have any other way to raise money to
Keep this site online but from our contributions
I strongly recommend you to contribute 10 or 20$ if you can
It is important to keep this site alive
Fercho

thegoodfight · Jul 30, 2016

I appreciate this so much I need this greatly I am really going through it in my life and this helps

fercho29 · Jul 30, 2016

thegoodfight said: ↑

I appreciate this so much I need this greatly I am really going through it in my life and this helps
Click to expand...

Glad to know that this post help you @thegoodfight
You can reas my post of last Thursday where I mentioned two other posts that may also help you
Keep on fighting
Fercho

thegoodfight · Jul 31, 2016

fercho29 said: ↑

Glad to know that this post help you @thegoodfight
You can reas my post of last Thursday where I mentioned two other posts that may also help you
Keep on fighting
Fercho
Click to expand...

Ok thank you so much let's keep persevering

fercho29 · Aug 7, 2016

I want to share with you an inspirational post written by @SolidSoldier , a fellow Fapstronaut and Heir of the Sun member:

So nice to see this furnace burning with the heat of life. I can catch up every now and then and I really enjoy your words, keep up the good work.

I frequent the chats since it seems easier, and I'd much rather talk about push ups then PMO. I was talking with a senior Heir the other day and we both agreed: that life of pmo is gone. I'm almost at 300 days and couldn't care less about a computer screen full of sex. Hell, I can't even think how to help anyone anymore.

Someone in the chat, two people actually, mentioned something about urges, fapping, porn, flashbacks. Honestly it took me a minute to realize they were serious. Going backwards? Again? How much time do you think we have? Snap out of it man. It's like a daydream to think about relapsing. Laughable. Really? You crave it? Sorry, I'll come back later when the man I knew returns.

You can't fap anymore. You can't go backwards. We must think like adults now, we must think like men. Honor, courage, honesty, love, we must start acting like we mean what we say. Another challenge? Good.

Yesterday was too easy. No challenges came. What is the point of a challenge free life? Give me a chance to prove myself, to myself. Can I be any more clear to my mind? I'm in charge, plain and simple.

Today, tomorrow, next week, next year - I will remain the same man. What does that mean? My core values of manliness, of spirit, of strength, they remain the same. Different challenges come - god willing - and I will face them with glee. Tough people? Tough moment? Stress at work? Gimmie, it's mine.

Robert Speer says no strong man was ever made without resistance. No strength ever made without some force pushing on you. Demanding your reaction. Give it all you've got and you will find a bottomless pit of energy. You don't "run out." You don't end.

Work hard. Get tired from service and love the ones who curse you. Why not? What are the other options? Revenge? Ha! Only for cowards.

I must find a challenge if no challenge finds me. Easy days are for the dead. If I am not pushed then I am not trying hard enough. We are unbreakable.

Specifics? Details? Fill in the blanks with any word. Cut out pmo and put diet. Remove lust and fill it with greed. The work here pertains to all things under the sun. Take your pick. Dishonesty? Chapter 4. Thievery? Chapter 8. Doesn't matter what your issue is, all things lead back to one truth, one teaching, one good Man.

I am afraid I succeeded. I got in. I got better. And I'm getting on with life. I can only hope to see you right alongside me. But, I can no longer look back. My only desire is others success, but it remains unfulfilled. I suppose the one thing in life that you can depend on is yourself.

fercho29 · Aug 8, 2016

I like this sentence from @Flowing , which he considers his mantra: "Life is uncomfortable. Progress & growth is uncomfortable. I accept it. I feel comfortable in the uncomfortable."

Fercho

fercho29 · Dec 15, 2016

@The Wizard posted this as the footer of his profile, I found it very inspirational and want to share with all of you:

"I lay on my bed in a pretty decent en suite room in one of the best universities in the world. I'd made some great connections and my career was looking up. But something was wrong. It was 2:20 am on December 15th, 2016, and i'd just come off another week long pornography and masturbation bender. I read Robert Downey Jr's quote, that quitting is not that hard, but it's the decision to quit, that is very difficult. I thought about that. I'm not sure I've ever actually made a declaration of quitting porn and masturbation, of transmuting my sex energy and trying to become my best self. I'm usually wary of those things because of the tendency to disappoint myself. But there is a NO inside of me that must be fed. I said then: "I have a choice. I'm 34 years old now. I'm not old, but I'm not young any more, and the next few years could be crucial as far as my life is concerned. I can change, I can transform the pain and the challenges and use them as fertilizer, or I can keep getting knocked over and wallowing in shit forever, only getting to see half of what my potential was. I don't want to waste anymore time. I don't want to reset my counter. I want to be the best me. I want to contribute my best work to the world. I need help. Today I make the decision to quit pornography and masturbation forever. Today I decide to be in control of my sex drive and my releases. Today I choose NO for the next few years to sex." And with that statement, I got off my bed, opened up my computer, and changed my signature. It seemed like a simple thing back then, but, looking back, that was the beginning of the biggest change my life had ever experienced. Everything I am, and everything you see before you today, was based on that simple decision that fateful night."

fercho29 · Dec 19, 2016

Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy told me today in the video call in reference to a big urge of having sex with a guy at the gym which I could stop last week: " The newcomers ask how long the reboot will take and when the PMO addiction will be part of the past. This example shows how is life after reboot. We will keep having urges some times, we will have fantasies and temptations because we are human beings. What we learn during reboot is to say no to practices that are not in agreement with which type of person we want to be. We may be tempted, but we learn how to say no. We learn that it is not worth it, and that we may face some discomfort now, in order to keep having a great life in the future".
This is my new reality, I am learning to say no to things that I know will hurt me.

Hanging by a thread · Dec 19, 2016

Than

fercho29 said: ↑

Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy told me today in the video call in reference to a big urge of having sex with a guy at the gym which I could stop last week: " The newcomers ask how long the reboot will take and when the PMO addiction will be part of the past. This example shows how is life after reboot. We will keep having urges some times, we will have fantasies and temptations because we are human beings. What we learn during reboot is to say no to practices that are not in agreement with which type of person we want to be. We may be tempted, but we learn how to say no. We learn that it is not worth it, and that we may face some discomfort now, in order to keep having a great life in the future".
This is my new reality, I am learning to say no to things that I know will hurt me.
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing that. I think for alot of SO'sad we wonder,what the urge feels like and why you can not control it, especially when you know it's not good for you and leads,to terrible consequences. For those without addiction problems we find it hard to believe you can't control such destructive things, especially being it's a matter of saying yes or no to something and especially out of respect for your SO'stays, why is it we can say no to temptations but you cant?... . Obviously it's a loss of control and compulsive issue within addicts brain compared to normal brain.

Jman123 · Dec 19, 2016

Thank you, getting back on track now. I realized this addiction is what's in the way of Love. Please, lets plow through this addiction to Love, and life today.

Exonyte · Dec 19, 2016

I've bookmarked this, amazing post. Thank you

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