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Back to the forum after ~1 month. My filter software (k9) prevented me from many distractions but I found ways to bypass the filter to watch porn or subs - again and again.
I got used to live without youtube, twitter and other distractions but I also got used to sabotage my own affords to prevent sexual content on my computer. - To the point that I'm becoming like Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde.

To live a fulfilling life, is more important than the fap-question. Recovering means improving ones life, not just abstinence from PMO / MO. Thats the most important lesson I learned from nofap.
But by mischance I'm addicted to porn and I can see it every week. The way I consume porn is impulsive and gluttonous. When I urge to see models in lingerie I most likely end up watching several hardcore vids of different subgenre - a binge that goes for hours.
When you're engaged in nofap and other forms of self-help on the internet all the time, the problem is that it's just another way of being a couch potato and missing out on "real" life. But when I neglected the forum more and more I stopped brainwashing myself against porn and because I hadn't stopped PMO that meant I was brainwashed by porn again.

The point is that I still need self-help and more than to browse and read I need to put it into practice. And I need this forum to continue my serious affords to quit porn. This forum has only one purpose as I see it: help you quit porn.
Therefor I won't talk about other issues here anymore, unless they're connected to quitting porn.
So here's my ABC -

What I need:

COMMITMENT - or rather recommitment: in short, I really hate the porn-watching part of myself and I hate porn for how it changed myself. But I will not be angry or sad or disappointed with myself, I will be strong for myself and I will be confident of my future success - I will give myself the chance to lead myself out of misery, to be strong again for myself and for others.
But the mentioned negative feelings are important too - to use it to confine and lessen the role of porn in my life.

Tracking - serious tracking of my goals and all. This includes daily journalling and so much more


Where I am now:

• over 1 day of abstinence - 1 of 90
• built my wall (k9) higher than before, all passwords to change anything will be mailed to myself in 89 days

 

bedtime is the biggest temptation to PMO. last night I could hardly resist. but I will not give up.

 

Day 6

 

day 0 and counting.

 

day 1. stay accountable, stay strong.

 

update: 4 days clean!

 

Day 1 guys. Let's see what a journey this will be.

 

Day two. Nice work Jodo Kus, exonyte, aquarius.

It's worth the fight. Our potential is worth the fight.

 

Yes!
Have a good day you all! And by good day I mean a day full of opportunities and which you yourself turn into a really good day. Staying clean from what you detest is half the battle to have a really good day and it makes a difference - every single day!

When I wrote "detest" I thought about it: do I really detest it or do I desire it or is it a hate-love or what? I think the answer is that I voluntarily detest it and it's important to detest it and learn to detest it more and more. And the "it" I want to detest is not only porn, rather it's the situation that PMO puts me in, it's the sucker I've become to porn and even simple nude pictures and it's also the whole complex of unnecessary sucking and suffering that goes far beyond porn.

But we shouldn't detest the desire in us, even if it comes as a pure sexual drive. I'll try to accept it and to learn to handle it in better ways.
By the way, the word detest comes "from Latin detestari, literally, to curse while calling a deity to witness, from de- + testari to call to witness" (Merriam Webster) - so maybe we should call a deity for help next time we curse "it"

 

Day Three.

 

Day 2 am hoping to stay chaste over christmas and new years. Sometimes the will to stop pmo is just seeming impossible. I believe in interconnectivity and truly believe that the behaviors of others affects us. Humanity as a collective decides the common behavior, I usually look at new videos. Still it does seem that their is always a higher path or spirit that wants to prevent me from PMO. Truly I do want a real relationship with a physical living breathing woman but i usually find imperfections that dissuade me from asking them out or staying in a relationship. It seems what's destructive acts fast but what's beneficial is slow paced. As an eternal being there is an impulse for both. What i am living off now is my desire for human connection someone I can become successful in society with and take refuge in once i need a break. Porn offers an artificial more lustful version of this. Still i know i need to love myself and my family if i can love another, this doesn't need to include PMO it can come from a healthy diet and exercise as well as setting goals and achieving them. I think I'll try meditating everyday for like 10 minutes. Then I'm getting running shoes for christmas. So I'll work on my chubby stomach. Looking good and feeling good that's what my school teacher said a healthy diet and exercise can contribute towards. I have a therapist and she suggested writing down things i do daily and crossing them off to recognise my small success' so i reccomend this and counting your blessings. The more conscious we are the better we can resist PMO and form strong healthy relationships with a partner or stay celibate.

 

I am on day 8. I am still very skeptical about most of the benefits until I see them for myself. But If I can make it to 30 days I'm sure that I'll still try to make it to 90. This is my first try at it so I feel pretty optimistic

 

Bros I've taken a few steps backwards this past week. I need to get back into a good rhythm - checking nofap everyday, exercising regularly, daily meditation. When I reached 30 days I got too confident and stopped relying on the nofap community for inspiration and accountability. Day 1...

 

Day 3, haven't had any impulses to relapse usually around a week is when i start craving. Am looking forward to Christmas but my sister and Mom have the flu. Things are pretty slow today just hanging out with my brother and his son. Think i'll go for a walk.

 

Day Six. Hang in there Freeman82, nice work on coming back to it! Nice work Davey!
Stay accountable, stay strong.

 

Day 8. urge to look definitely coming back. Thinking about what I want to be doing instead of PM. How I feel afterwards, thinking through the whole thing. Not just respond to the immediate impulse. Stay aware of my thoughts and feelings and usher them through my mind instead of hanging onto them. Don't reinforce old habbits, create new ones. Just takes time.

Thanks for the accountability guys. Stay Strong, Focused. Relax.

 

Day 1 - Glad I found this community

 

Day six for me, just went running and then meditated for some time. I'm feelin energized and calm (no urges).

 

Welcome.

 

Hello guys! It's day 2 for me!
I'm in my second serious try. I want to beat 20 days (my first try). I don't know if I will get to 90 days, but I know one thing: read people who reboot, and be red by people who reboot, will help me a lot!

"Courage!" (it's like a "goodbye" in France but I find it motivating)