The way I feel about porn/masterbation does anyone else agree also please help!

Leave him. You can and must do better. You don't love him, you need him. That need you have, is allowing him to disrespect you, and have you around for convenience sake. Tough truth. But it's the truth that will set us free

 

Obviously, this isn't the truth. There is no way to know what you say is true based off the information in Op's post. Telling someone to leave their SO and that they don't love them is assuming, to say the least.

@emily 291810 I've been where your bf is; believing porn is ok and everyone views it. I had this argument with my wife many times in the early years of our marriage. I was in complete denial. Unfortunately, I had to hit some pretty bad lows to realize the pain I caused. I hope your bf never goes there. I don't believe most guys will. But, for many that view porn habitually and are in a relationship, there are usually negative consequences; whether it's decrease attractions to their real partner, desire to explore outside of normal bounds, increased objectification, or complete inability to sexually perform.

You have a right to your objections to his use of outside stimulation for his own sexual gratification. I don't know that he will see your point of view, but letting him know that his actions hurt you and effect your relationship negatively may be enough to at least start a better dialog.

 

I don't necessarily believe this is true. While maybe that might be your perspective, I can say that in the time that I've been coming to grips with my addiction, I was with several women. A couple relationships, a couple not. But I was always attracted to them very much. The problem arises from the fact that we've made seriously unhealthy connections in our brain and major rewiring has occurred because of porn, and how we are able to participate in sexual relationships is very unhealthy. It's one of the big reasons I came here and am taking the journey I am, because I want to be able to engage in healthy romantic relationships with the women that I find attractive.

Now, I'm not saying that's always the case. Someone who is seeking an out in their current relationship or who isn't entirely happy may turn to other outlets for their satisfaction. It depends on how much and often your SO engages in these other outlets, and if that is having truly negative impacts on your emotional and physical connections with them. And as far as him defending this as the "cultural norm" well...that's just an excuse.

Is it possible to look at porn and not have any lasting negative effects? Sure. But those of us who have had seriously debilitating outcomes from watching it and becoming addicted to it are taking the stand to go AGAINST the cultural norm, because it IS unhealthy. Society being spoon fed pleasure and voyeurism isn't how we were meant to live as human beings. And if your SO is crossing the boundary into having a serious problem...then it's time to re-evaluate some things. I hope for the best for you guys.