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`In Case You Didn't Know...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by D . J ., Dec 23, 2016.

Tags:

Page 2 of 10

Jan 16, 2017 #21

KevinMax Fapstronaut

13

23

3
D . J . said: ↑

This will not be my official journal but this is a place on the forum where I will store all of the tips that have shared with others as well as tips I have seen others post. It is an ongoing list and will continue to grow.

Everything ain't for everybody and if something doesn't work for you or you don't agree with it... don't do it, continue reading until you find something that does.

It is very important to understand that the strategies below are to help you through the journey but it is vital that you replace your old habits with new habits so that you won't fall backwards into your old habits. When you stop watching porn and masturbating and you do not replace those habits/ activities with healthier ones, chances are great you will return to where you once found comfort and escape.

Here is a growing collection of startup strategies compiled from myself and I've added some from others on NoFap. Keep these in mind, this is by no means a be-all-end-all list of suggestions but it is a list for you to use and add to for yourself and modify to meet your needs. Check back every once in awhile because I do add to it. Also skim over the entire list because new tips may not always be added at the end of the list.

Understand that you are engaged in a war to regain the possession of the life you unknowingly gave away to PMO. It should be treated as a hostile enemy because it doesn't play fairly. By not taking this seriously or by taking this halfheartedly, you will get very far before frustration causes you to surrender to the enemy. Be warned, failure is a part of the process. Not every battle will be won. There are many success stories to show that victory is possible but remember, an addict always has the opportunity to fall backwards and thus again surrendering the life you have fought so hard to regain. The battling may end soon for some but the war may last a lifetime for others. That doesn't mean there will be constant battles for life. Even in times of peace the enemy is out to still, kill and destroy you. Take up your shield and your sword and prepare for war!

Delete all of the P that you have from your computer and smartphone including the browser history and cookies. This will not stop you but will slow you down.

Identify your triggers. What are the things that you happening in your world to cause you to turn to PMO for escape and comfort! This is the most crucial step in the process.

Once your triggers are identified, determine healthy ways of dealing with those triggers such as exercise, running, leaving the stressful situation and going outside for air.

Follow this link to find out what NoFap is about. Within this link is a link to a glossary of terms commonly used on NoFap. This will help you communicate knowledgeably and more effectively: Newbies: List Of Reboot Resources

Go to Your Brain On Porn to learn more about the effect PMO has on you. Do this also to educate yourself on the damage you are doing to yourself.

Guard your eyes. Be careful of what you allow yourself to see. No, you cannot live with your eyes closed but you can determine how long you look at something. If you know it may cause you to fall, flee from it! Run in the other direction, sometimes that need to be literal.

When you go to the bathroom, don't take your smartphone with you. (from @countryboy94)

Be careful of visual triggers from social media. Delete accounts if necessary. (from @countryboy94)

Stop placing yourself in situations where the situation has leverage over you. That means stop placing yourself where you know you may get weak and either give in at the moment or later on.

When you see yourself beginning to be in a bad situation (ex. alone with a computer and horny), say what you feel or know you are about to do or likely to do so you can hear yourself say it. (Ex. "I'm alone in a room [with a computer] and I'm feeling lonely [or whatever the emotion is] and horny and I want to [watch watch porn and] masturbate but if I do that, I will have lost the progress I've made". By hearing you say what you are about to do, you may realize the price you pay is not worth what you will receive in return.

Masturbation... do not keep your hands to yourself. Unless you are bathing, changing your underwear or actually using the bathroom, your hands should be nowhere near your penis. YOU ARE BANNED FROM TOUCHING YOUR PENIS FOR RECREATION!!! IT IS NOT A TOY!!!

IF YOU ENGAGE IN PRONE MASTURBATION (masturbation while on your stomach) STOP THIS BEHAVIOR NOW!!! YOU ARE HARMING YOURSELF!!!

Your bed is limited to only the time you are sleeping. No laying in bed other than that. As soon you awake, you should get out of bed. Can't sleep, if awake for more than a few minutes, get out of bed until you are sleepy enough to go to sleep.

Keep doors open unless necessary. You need to be isolated as little as possible. You're less likely to M when people can see you.

Keep curtains and blinds open as much as possible. Similar reason as above and also allows light inside. Many times M'ing is more likely in dark places.

At night, keep lights on as often as possible. Similar to above, lights on may lessen your desire to fap.

If you are a naked sleeper or a boxer sleeper, consider sleeping in a in jockstrap, cup or briefs or compression shorts, something more constrictive so that you are less likely to feel movement while falling asleep or when awaking. They may provide a better barrier to prevent those that subconsciously reach for their penis at night or in the morning. They may also be a visual barrier for those that have morning erections too irresistible to not touch.

Many have found cold and short showers beneficial for temptations control.

If you have a faith, lean into it. Allow it to strengthen you in times of weakness. Many of us have gained strength in our weakest moments due to our faith. There are several Groups that are on NoFap dedicated to allow a person to gain additional encouragement and strength through prayer, scripture or a specific community of similar beliefs.

Consider asking for an accountability partner. We in the forum will help you but some may become stronger with one or a few to keep them accountable.

Never agree with your temptation.(@mvp35lusanity)

Begin a journal so that others can encourage you and connect with you.To create a journal, go to the Reboot Logs, find your age group, begin a thread. That thread is your journal. Go back to your first post and place a link to your new journal there so people can find you can follow you.

For those who want a counter, click on this link.

Become active in this community. The more active you are, the less time you will spend focused on you. The less time focused solely on you, the faster time goes. There is an old saying, "a watched pot of water doesn't boil any faster", which means for this example, focusing solely on yourself and your issues won't make them go away sooner. It's OK to track progress but when spending more time doing other things that were once important to you and encouraging others, you will notice the time of your sobriety will go so much faster than if you didn't.

Each one, teach one means for each person who has been helped, consider teaching another person from his or her own experiences.

Whatever you feed will grow and whatever you starve will eventually die! Each time you PMO you feed the addiction, each time you resist, you starve the addiction.

[Advice and rant] Along your journey, reflect back to who you were but don't go backwards! What I mean is don't fight to gain a week or a month or 6 months sobriety then waste the progress by "checking to see if my penis still works because I've been flatlining and I haven't been horny in awhile". Really? That is only a lie you are telling yourself to MO. If it didn't work, you would feel nothing at all, even when urinating. Seriously! You cannot have it both ways! You cannot complain when you are always horny and then complain when your not horny at all. Consider it a NoFap resting station. Keep moving forward.

Similarly, don't decide to "watch P to see if you are still affected by it! If you have been watching P for a year... 5 years... 10, 20. 30 years, what makes you think being sober for a week to 6 months is going to override all of the years you've been watching P. Think about it! [Note: For those of you who are new to this forum, the previous two may be lies you tell yourself while in recovery. These two may seem crazy and you may think this is common sense but too many have admitted to one of or both of these situations. This is how powerful the addiction can be. Don't allow yourself to fall into this trap of the enemy called a brain addicted to PMO].

PMO is not a need; it is not analogous to our needs for sex and relationships and food. PMO is an addiction; a drug. It is an artificial construct; asimulation designed to hijack our brain.
The fact that there is no single "physical substance" only makes PMO more dangerous. The physical substance being abused in the case of PMO is our brain.
That said, we will NOT allow our brain to be abused by the pornography industry. We will NOT crave the company of pixels over our friends and families. We will NOT be a slave to witless desires that ruin our relationships and stunt our personal and professional growth. We will NOT stop yearning, striving and persevering again PMO. (from @Tomato_Bisque)

Learn from your past mistakes. Making the same mistakes will wear your resolve to fight longer. If possible, learn from the mistakes others' have made. There are far too many new mistakes that can be made than to get stuck making old ones. If you have a relapse/ reset, ask yourself "What could you have done that you didn't do which have not resulted in a relapse/reset?", then the next time you are in a similar situation, do that!

Beware of what I call the urge ambush. Urge ambushes are those times when all seems to be going well and you feel as though all is fine and then, from out of nowhere, BAM!!!! You get hit by powerful urges to PMO, not provoked by anything you have done but they, at times, can seem crippling and you really have to fight your way free from those urges. When that happens, you've been urge ambushed!

NoFap works best when you see the damage PMO has done to your life and you want to regain what you have given away.

"To have sex" and/or "just having a relationship" are not healthy main goals because you are potentially seeing the the other person as an object whose purpose is to satisfy you, similar to watching porn. A goal of becoming a better, healthier, confident person allows someone to notice and a new you (even if you already have a spouse or are already in a relationship) which may result in having sex or a relationship. It's more about growing as a person without PMO as results do vary.

You must renew my commitment for sobriety each day. The commitment is only valid for 24 hours. Next day you are free to make a new decision. Each day choose for sobriety. (from @alex_sober)

Wet dreams are a part of the process for many. If they occur for you, they do not count as a relapse or a reset. They are only messy and annoying.

...the trick I used was cold showers. You could also take an ice pack and place it down there or a bag of frozen peas, etc. The cold helps to constrict the blood vessels so it slows the flow of blood to that area. I found that doing one of those things helped the best and even made the pain go away fairly quickly. (from @ILoathePorn)

“...E + F + C = M. That is, excitement plus fatigue, plus confusion equals mistakes.”
― Rutledge Etheridge, Agent of Destruction (from @douggie1962)

Habits form in a loop: cue - routine - reward.
Successfully changing a habit requires three things:
- identify your cues
- replace the routine with something else
- get reward from doing the new routine
You can apply this to any habit behaviour. The people who successfully beat addictions are those who have planned out every detail - they have a detailed relapse prevention strategy for dealing with triggers and urges.
Urges feel awful but it can be helpful to remember that the average urge lasts less than 10 minutes. If you can plan out something to do that's distracting for when urges hit. A walk or run is good because it gets you away from the computer and also gives reward in itself... The other thing to remember is that porn may be all you can think about if you've seen a trigger but a day or two later it'll [most likely] be forgotten again. (from @diddykong)

This a journey. Unless you began your addiction yesterday, don't expect to have complete victory by tomorrow. It takes time. We are here for you for as long as it takes.

Identifying your triggers is like hearing an early warning alarm showing you the enemy is lurking and ready to strike. Your triggers are you weak points and the PMO already exploits them so it would be wise for you to know them as well.
Your triggers will be those things that occur and you find yourself wanting to turn to PMO for escape and comfort. There are visual triggers that may be avoided but the emotional triggers are much more difficult to avoid. Here are some common emotional triggers:

Laziness

Fear

Hunger

Anger/ aggravation / frustration

Loneliness

Tiredness

Depression

Inebriation

Depression

General stress

Need for control/ feeling out of control or loss of control

Boredom

Helplessness

DJ,
Thank you for your sharing your thoughtful set of tools!

Much appreciated!
Click to expand...
KevinMax, Jan 16, 2017

KevinMax, Jan 16, 2017

#21

D . J . likes this.
Jan 18, 2017 #22

MyNewSelf Guest

This post is amazing.

MyNewSelf, Jan 18, 2017

MyNewSelf, Jan 18, 2017

#22

Big Brother, Dakota12, KevinMax and 1 other person like this.
Jan 21, 2017 #23

KevinMax Fapstronaut

13

23

3

MyNewSelf said: ↑

This post is amazing.
Click to expand...

Yes!!!

KevinMax, Jan 21, 2017

KevinMax, Jan 21, 2017

#23

D . J . likes this.
Jan 22, 2017 #24

Free4eva Fapstronaut

120

180

43
D . J . said: ↑

This will not be my official journal but this is a place on the forum where I will store all of the tips that have shared with others as well as tips I have seen others post. It is an ongoing list and will continue to grow.

Everything ain't for everybody and if something doesn't work for you or you don't agree with it... don't do it, continue reading until you find something that does.

It is very important to understand that the strategies below are to help you through the journey but it is vital that you replace your old habits with new habits so that you won't fall backwards into your old habits. When you stop watching porn and masturbating and you do not replace those habits/ activities with healthier ones, chances are great you will return to where you once found comfort and escape.

Here is a growing collection of startup strategies compiled from myself and I've added some from others on NoFap. Keep these in mind, this is by no means a be-all-end-all list of suggestions but it is a list for you to use and add to for yourself and modify to meet your needs. Check back every once in awhile because I do add to it. Also skim over the entire list because new tips may not always be added at the end of the list.

Understand that you are engaged in a war to regain the possession of the life you unknowingly gave away to PMO. It should be treated as a hostile enemy because it doesn't play fairly. By not taking this seriously or by taking this halfheartedly, you will get very far before frustration causes you to surrender to the enemy. Be warned, failure is a part of the process. Not every battle will be won. There are many success stories to show that victory is possible but remember, an addict always has the opportunity to fall backwards and thus again surrendering the life you have fought so hard to regain. The battling may end soon for some but the war may last a lifetime for others. That doesn't mean there will be constant battles for life. Even in times of peace the enemy is out to still, kill and destroy you. Take up your shield and your sword and prepare for war!

Addiction... Am I really an addict?

You wonder if you really have an addiction or you "just happen to like porn/ masturbation" well, the way you know something has control over you or not is, to choose to stop doing it, at that moment, to never do it again. If the thought of that unnerves you, there's a problem, if you can't do it, you have an addiction. For an example, normal addictions everyone has are to food, water and air.

Just because you've progressed more than you initially expected on your first (or first few) tries, it doesn't make you any less of an addict than those who are struggling lots more or who have a darker history. Accepting that you're an addict is not enough, you are a serious addict, we are all serious addicts. There are no "stages" or "degree" in a PMO addiction (at least that's how your mindset needs to be). (from @ZenPhysics)

Addiction acceptance means you acknowledge what you thought you were controlling is now controlling you. Once you accept you have an addiction:

Delete all of the P that you have from your computer and smartphone including the browser history and cookies. This will not stop you but will slow you down.

Here is how to block sites on iPhone and iPad Safari.

Identify your triggers. What are the things that you happening in your world to cause you to turn to PMO for escape and comfort! This is the most crucial step in the process.

Once your triggers are identified, determine healthy ways of dealing with those triggers such as exercise, running, leaving the stressful situation and going outside for air.

Follow this link to find out what NoFap is about. Within this link is a link to a glossary of terms commonly used on NoFap. This will help you communicate knowledgeably and more effectively: Newbies: List Of Reboot Resources

Go to Your Brain On Porn to learn more about the effect PMO has on you. Do this also to educate yourself on the damage you are doing to yourself.

Guard your eyes. Be careful of what you allow yourself to see. No, you cannot live with your eyes closed but you can determine how long you look at something. If you know it may cause you to fall, flee from it! Run in the other direction, sometimes that need to be literal.

When you go to the bathroom, don't take your smartphone with you. (from @countryboy94)

Be careful of visual triggers from social media. Delete accounts if necessary. (from @countryboy94)

Stop placing yourself in situations where the situation has leverage over you. That means stop placing yourself where you know you may get weak and either give in at the moment or later on.

When you see yourself beginning to be in a bad situation (ex. alone with a computer and horny), say what you feel or know you are about to do or likely to do so you can hear yourself say it. (Ex. "I'm alone in a room [with a computer] and I'm feeling lonely [or whatever the emotion is] and horny and I want to [watch watch porn and] masturbate but if I do that, I will have lost the progress I've made". By hearing you say what you are about to do, you may realize the price you pay is not worth what you will receive in return.

Masturbation... do not keep your hands to yourself. Unless you are bathing, changing your underwear or actually using the bathroom, your hands should be nowhere near your penis. YOU ARE BANNED FROM TOUCHING YOUR PENIS FOR RECREATION!!! IT IS NOT A TOY!!!

IF YOU ENGAGE IN PRONE MASTURBATION (masturbation while on your stomach) STOP THIS BEHAVIOR NOW!!! YOU ARE HARMING YOURSELF!!!

Edging - Masturbation without ejaculation or to prolong the act of ejaculation, so if you have been edging, you have been masturbating, they are the same thing [to those who know this, there are too many who seem to see these as two separate actions or issues... they are not.]

Your bed is limited to only the time you are sleeping. No laying in bed other than that. As soon you awake, you should get out of bed. Can't sleep, if awake for more than a few minutes, get out of bed until you are sleepy enough to go to sleep.

Keep doors open unless necessary. You need to be isolated as little as possible. You're less likely to M when people can see you.

Keep curtains and blinds open as much as possible. Similar reason as above and also allows light inside. Many times M'ing is more likely in dark places.

At night, keep lights on as often as possible. Similar to above, lights on may lessen your desire to fap.

If you are a naked sleeper or a boxer sleeper, consider sleeping in a in jockstrap, cup or briefs or compression shorts, something more constrictive so that you are less likely to feel movement while falling asleep or when awaking. They may provide a better barrier to prevent those that subconsciously reach for their penis at night or in the morning. They may also be a visual barrier for those that have morning erections too irresistible to not touch.

Many have found cold and short showers beneficial for temptations control.

If you have a faith, lean into it. Allow it to strengthen you in times of weakness. Many of us have gained strength in our weakest moments due to our faith. There are several spiritual and religious groups that are on NoFap dedicated to allow a person to gain additional encouragement and strength through prayer, scripture.

There are other social groups as well which support those looking for a specific community of similar interests.

Consider seeking an accountability partner. We in the forum will help you but some may become stronger with one or a few to keep them accountable.

Never agree with your temptation. (@mvp35lusanity)

Begin a journal so that others can encourage you and connect with you.To create a journal, go to the Reboot Logs, find your age group, begin a thread. That thread is your journal. Go back to your first post and place a link to your new journal there so people can find you can follow you.

For those who want a counter, click on this link.

Become active in this community. The more active you are, the less time you will spend focused on you. The less time focused solely on you, the faster time goes. There is an old saying, "a watched pot of water doesn't boil any faster", which means for this example, focusing solely on yourself and your issues won't make them go away sooner. It's OK to track progress but when spending more time doing other things that were once important to you and encouraging others, you will notice the time of your sobriety will go so much faster than if you didn't.

Each one, teach one means for each person who has been helped, consider teaching another person from his or her own experiences.

Whatever you feed will grow and whatever you starve will eventually die! Each time you PMO you feed the addiction, each time you resist, you starve the addiction.

[Advice and rant] Along your journey, reflect back to who you were but don't go backwards! What I mean is don't fight to gain a week or a month or 6 months sobriety then waste the progress by "checking to see if my penis still works because I've been flatlining and I haven't been horny in awhile". Really? That is only a lie you are telling yourself to MO. If it didn't work, you would feel nothing at all, even when urinating. Seriously! You cannot have it both ways! You cannot complain when you are always horny and then complain when your not horny at all. Consider it a NoFap resting station. Keep moving forward.

Similarly, don't decide to "watch P to see if you are still affected by it! If you have been watching P for a year... 5 years... 10, 20. 30 years, what makes you think being sober for a week to 6 months is going to override all of the years you've been watching P. Think about it! [Note: For those of you who are new to this forum, the previous two may be lies you tell yourself while in recovery. These two may seem crazy and you may think this is common sense but too many have admitted to one of or both of these situations. This is how powerful the addiction can be. Don't allow yourself to fall into this trap of the enemy called a brain addicted to PMO].

PMO is not a need; it is not analogous to our needs for sex and relationships and food. PMO is an addiction; a drug. It is an artificial construct; asimulation designed to hijack our brain.
The fact that there is no single "physical substance" only makes PMO more dangerous. The physical substance being abused in the case of PMO is our brain.
That said, we will NOT allow our brain to be abused by the pornography industry. We will NOT crave the company of pixels over our friends and families. We will NOT be a slave to witless desires that ruin our relationships and stunt our personal and professional growth. We will NOT stop yearning, striving and persevering again PMO. (from @Tomato_Bisque)

Learn from your past mistakes. Making the same mistakes will wear your resolve to fight longer. If possible, learn from the mistakes others' have made. There are far too many new mistakes that can be made than to get stuck making old ones. If you have a relapse/ reset, ask yourself "What could you have done that you didn't do which have not resulted in a relapse/reset?", then the next time you are in a similar situation, do that!

Beware of what I call the urge ambush. Urge ambushes are those times when all seems to be going well and you feel as though all is fine and then, from out of nowhere, BAM!!!! You get hit by powerful urges to PMO, not provoked by anything you have done but they, at times, can seem crippling and you really have to fight your way free from those urges. When that happens, you've been urge ambushed!

NoFap works best when you see the damage PMO has done to your life and you want to regain what you have given away.

"To have sex" and/or "just having a relationship" are not healthy main goals because you are potentially seeing the the other person as an object whose purpose is to satisfy you, similar to watching porn. A goal of becoming a better, healthier, confident person allows someone to notice and a new you (even if you already have a spouse or are already in a relationship) which may result in having sex or a relationship. It's more about growing as a person without PMO as results do vary.

You must renew my commitment for sobriety each day. The commitment is only valid for 24 hours. Next day you are free to make a new decision. Each day choose for sobriety. (from @alex_sober)

Wet dreams are a part of the process for many. If they occur for you, they do not count as a relapse or a reset. They are only messy and annoying.

Blue balls... they occur and it is uncomfortable but do not allow this condition to become a hinderance because it does pass.

...the trick I used was cold showers. You could also take an ice pack and place it down there or a bag of frozen peas, etc. The cold helps to constrict the blood vessels so it slows the flow of blood to that area. I found that doing one of those things helped the best and even made the pain go away fairly quickly. (from @ILoathePorn)

“...E + F + C = M. That is, Excitement plus Fatigue, plus Confusion equals Mistakes.”
― Rutledge Etheridge, Agent of Destruction (from @douggie1962)

Habits form in a loop: cue - routine - reward.
Successfully changing a habit requires three things:
- identify your cues
- replace the routine with something else
- get reward from doing the new routine
You can apply this to any habit behaviour. The people who successfully beat addictions are those who have planned out every detail - they have a detailed relapse prevention strategy for dealing with triggers and urges.
Urges feel awful but it can be helpful to remember that the average urge lasts less than 10 minutes. If you can plan out something to do that's distracting for when urges hit. A walk or run is good because it gets you away from the computer and also gives reward in itself... The other thing to remember is that porn may be all you can think about if you've seen a trigger but a day or two later it'll [most likely] be forgotten again. (from @diddykong)

Fantasizing... "I realized my fantasies are not fantasies but chains - chains holding me back from real joy, real achievement, real living.
A good way to know if something is good for you is how you feel after you do it. I NEVER feel better after indulging in self medication, I never feel better after fapping or giving into or dwelling on, a fantasy (and by fantasy I mean porn or fetish or unwanted fantasy -[places] that I think PMO has taken me that are disconnected from what I am really attracted to.)" (from @ivanhoe) - {this was so well said, I could not paraphrase, I could only direct quote}

This a journey. Unless you began your addiction yesterday, don't expect to have complete victory by tomorrow. It takes time. We are here for you for as long as it takes.

Identifying your triggers is like hearing an early warning alarm showing you the enemy is lurking and ready to strike. Your triggers are you weak points and the PMO already exploits them so it would be wise for you to know them as well.
Your triggers will be those things that occur and you find yourself wanting to turn to PMO for escape and comfort. There are visual triggers that may be avoided but the emotional triggers are much more difficult to avoid. Here are some common emotional triggers:

Laziness

Fear

Hunger

Anger/ aggravation / frustration

Loneliness

Tiredness

Depression

Inebriation

Depression

General stress

Need for control/ feeling out of control or loss of control

Boredom

Helplessness

Click to expand...

Man this post is amazing, why did i only see it 33 days into my reboot process? Thanks for all the good advice
Free4eva, Jan 22, 2017

Free4eva, Jan 22, 2017

#24

MyNewSelf and D . J . like this.
Jan 22, 2017 #25

D . J . Fapstronaut

13,509

8,628

143

My Journal

Free4eva said: ↑

Man this post is amazing, why did i only see it 33 days into my reboot process? Thanks for all the good advice
Click to expand...

Now that you know it's here, please come back to it as often as you need to. I do add to it and you may need to reread it from start to finish because I don't always add new information at the end, I try to add new information next to similar information.

D . J ., Jan 22, 2017

D . J ., Jan 22, 2017

#25

1 person likes this.
Jan 23, 2017 #26

Dakota12 Fapstronaut

37

51

18
D . J . said: ↑

This will not be my official journal but this is a place on the forum where I will store all of the tips that have shared with others as well as tips I have seen others post. It is an ongoing list and will continue to grow.

Everything ain't for everybody and if something doesn't work for you or you don't agree with it... don't do it, continue reading until you find something that does.

It is very important to understand that the strategies below are to help you through the journey but it is vital that you replace your old habits with new habits so that you won't fall backwards into your old habits. When you stop watching porn and masturbating and you do not replace those habits/ activities with healthier ones, chances are great you will return to where you once found comfort and escape.

Here is a growing collection of startup strategies compiled from myself and I've added some from others on NoFap. Keep these in mind, this is by no means a be-all-end-all list of suggestions but it is a list for you to use and add to for yourself and modify to meet your needs. Check back every once in awhile because I do add to it. Also skim over the entire list because new tips may not always be added at the end of the list.

Understand that you are engaged in a war to regain the possession of the life you unknowingly gave away to PMO. It should be treated as a hostile enemy because it doesn't play fairly. By not taking this seriously or by taking this halfheartedly, you will get very far before frustration causes you to surrender to the enemy. Be warned, failure is a part of the process. Not every battle will be won. There are many success stories to show that victory is possible but remember, an addict always has the opportunity to fall backwards and thus again surrendering the life you have fought so hard to regain. The battling may end soon for some but the war may last a lifetime for others. That doesn't mean there will be constant battles for life. Even in times of peace the enemy is out to still, kill and destroy you. Take up your shield and your sword and prepare for war!

Addiction... Am I really an addict?

You wonder if you really have an addiction or you "just happen to like porn/ masturbation" well, the way you know something has control over you or not is, to choose to stop doing it, at that moment, to never do it again. If the thought of that unnerves you, there's a problem, if you can't do it, you have an addiction. For an example, normal addictions everyone has are to food, water and air.

Just because you've progressed more than you initially expected on your first (or first few) tries, it doesn't make you any less of an addict than those who are struggling lots more or who have a darker history. Accepting that you're an addict is not enough, you are a serious addict, we are all serious addicts. There are no "stages" or "degree" in a PMO addiction (at least that's how your mindset needs to be). (from @ZenPhysics)

Addiction acceptance means you acknowledge what you thought you were controlling is now controlling you. Once you accept you have an addiction:

Delete all of the P that you have from your computer and smartphone including the browser history and cookies. This will not stop you but will slow you down.

Here is how to block sites on iPhone and iPad Safari.

Identify your triggers. What are the things that you happening in your world to cause you to turn to PMO for escape and comfort! This is the most crucial step in the process.

Once your triggers are identified, determine healthy ways of dealing with those triggers such as exercise, running, leaving the stressful situation and going outside for air.

Follow this link to find out what NoFap is about. Within this link is a link to a glossary of terms commonly used on NoFap. This will help you communicate knowledgeably and more effectively: Newbies: List Of Reboot Resources

Go to Your Brain On Porn to learn more about the effect PMO has on you. Do this also to educate yourself on the damage you are doing to yourself.

Guard your eyes. Be careful of what you allow yourself to see. No, you cannot live with your eyes closed but you can determine how long you look at something. If you know it may cause you to fall, flee from it! Run in the other direction, sometimes that need to be literal.

When you go to the bathroom, don't take your smartphone with you. (from @countryboy94)

Be careful of visual triggers from social media. Delete accounts if necessary. (from @countryboy94)

Stop placing yourself in situations where the situation has leverage over you. That means stop placing yourself where you know you may get weak and either give in at the moment or later on.

When you see yourself beginning to be in a bad situation (ex. alone with a computer and horny), say what you feel or know you are about to do or likely to do so you can hear yourself say it. (Ex. "I'm alone in a room [with a computer] and I'm feeling lonely [or whatever the emotion is] and horny and I want to [watch watch porn and] masturbate but if I do that, I will have lost the progress I've made". By hearing you say what you are about to do, you may realize the price you pay is not worth what you will receive in return.

Masturbation... do not keep your hands to yourself. Unless you are bathing, changing your underwear or actually using the bathroom, your hands should be nowhere near your penis. YOU ARE BANNED FROM TOUCHING YOUR PENIS FOR RECREATION!!! IT IS NOT A TOY!!!

IF YOU ENGAGE IN PRONE MASTURBATION (masturbation while on your stomach) STOP THIS BEHAVIOR NOW!!! YOU ARE HARMING YOURSELF!!!

Edging - Masturbation without ejaculation or to prolong the act of ejaculation, so if you have been edging, you have been masturbating, they are the same thing [to those who know this, there are too many who seem to see these as two separate actions or issues... they are not.]

Your bed is limited to only the time you are sleeping. No laying in bed other than that. As soon you awake, you should get out of bed. Can't sleep, if awake for more than a few minutes, get out of bed until you are sleepy enough to go to sleep.

Keep doors open unless necessary. You need to be isolated as little as possible. You're less likely to M when people can see you.

Keep curtains and blinds open as much as possible. Similar reason as above and also allows light inside. Many times M'ing is more likely in dark places.

At night, keep lights on as often as possible. Similar to above, lights on may lessen your desire to fap.

If you are a naked sleeper or a boxer sleeper, consider sleeping in a in jockstrap, cup or briefs or compression shorts, something more constrictive so that you are less likely to feel movement while falling asleep or when awaking. They may provide a better barrier to prevent those that subconsciously reach for their penis at night or in the morning. They may also be a visual barrier for those that have morning erections too irresistible to not touch.

Many have found cold and short showers beneficial for temptations control.

If you have a faith, lean into it. Allow it to strengthen you in times of weakness. Many of us have gained strength in our weakest moments due to our faith. There are several spiritual and religious groups that are on NoFap dedicated to allow a person to gain additional encouragement and strength through prayer, scripture.

There are other social groups as well which support those looking for a specific community of similar interests.

Consider seeking an accountability partner. We in the forum will help you but some may become stronger with one or a few to keep them accountable.

Never agree with your temptation. (@mvp35lusanity)

Begin a journal so that others can encourage you and connect with you.To create a journal, go to the Reboot Logs, find your age group, begin a thread. That thread is your journal. Go back to your first post and place a link to your new journal there so people can find you can follow you.

For those who want a counter, click on this link.

Become active in this community. The more active you are, the less time you will spend focused on you. The less time focused solely on you, the faster time goes. There is an old saying, "a watched pot of water doesn't boil any faster", which means for this example, focusing solely on yourself and your issues won't make them go away sooner. It's OK to track progress but when spending more time doing other things that were once important to you and encouraging others, you will notice the time of your sobriety will go so much faster than if you didn't.

Each one, teach one means for each person who has been helped, consider teaching another person from his or her own experiences.

Whatever you feed will grow and whatever you starve will eventually die! Each time you PMO you feed the addiction, each time you resist, you starve the addiction.

[Advice and rant] Along your journey, reflect back to who you were but don't go backwards! What I mean is don't fight to gain a week or a month or 6 months sobriety then waste the progress by "checking to see if my penis still works because I've been flatlining and I haven't been horny in awhile". Really? That is only a lie you are telling yourself to MO. If it didn't work, you would feel nothing at all, even when urinating. Seriously! You cannot have it both ways! You cannot complain when you are always horny and then complain when your not horny at all. Consider it a NoFap resting station. Keep moving forward.

Similarly, don't decide to "watch P to see if you are still affected by it! If you have been watching P for a year... 5 years... 10, 20. 30 years, what makes you think being sober for a week to 6 months is going to override all of the years you've been watching P. Think about it! [Note: For those of you who are new to this forum, the previous two may be lies you tell yourself while in recovery. These two may seem crazy and you may think this is common sense but too many have admitted to one of or both of these situations. This is how powerful the addiction can be. Don't allow yourself to fall into this trap of the enemy called a brain addicted to PMO].

PMO is not a need; it is not analogous to our needs for sex and relationships and food. PMO is an addiction; a drug. It is an artificial construct; asimulation designed to hijack our brain.
The fact that there is no single "physical substance" only makes PMO more dangerous. The physical substance being abused in the case of PMO is our brain.
That said, we will NOT allow our brain to be abused by the pornography industry. We will NOT crave the company of pixels over our friends and families. We will NOT be a slave to witless desires that ruin our relationships and stunt our personal and professional growth. We will NOT stop yearning, striving and persevering again PMO. (from @Tomato_Bisque)

Learn from your past mistakes. Making the same mistakes will wear your resolve to fight longer. If possible, learn from the mistakes others' have made. There are far too many new mistakes that can be made than to get stuck making old ones. If you have a relapse/ reset, ask yourself "What could you have done that you didn't do which have not resulted in a relapse/reset?", then the next time you are in a similar situation, do that!

Beware of what I call the urge ambush. Urge ambushes are those times when all seems to be going well and you feel as though all is fine and then, from out of nowhere, BAM!!!! You get hit by powerful urges to PMO, not provoked by anything you have done but they, at times, can seem crippling and you really have to fight your way free from those urges. When that happens, you've been urge ambushed!

NoFap works best when you see the damage PMO has done to your life and you want to regain what you have given away.

"To have sex" and/or "just having a relationship" are not healthy main goals because you are potentially seeing the the other person as an object whose purpose is to satisfy you, similar to watching porn. A goal of becoming a better, healthier, confident person allows someone to notice and a new you (even if you already have a spouse or are already in a relationship) which may result in having sex or a relationship. It's more about growing as a person without PMO as results do vary.

You must renew my commitment for sobriety each day. The commitment is only valid for 24 hours. Next day you are free to make a new decision. Each day choose for sobriety. (from @alex_sober)

Wet dreams are a part of the process for many. If they occur for you, they do not count as a relapse or a reset. They are only messy and annoying.

Blue balls... they occur and it is uncomfortable but do not allow this condition to become a hinderance because it does pass.

...the trick I used was cold showers. You could also take an ice pack and place it down there or a bag of frozen peas, etc. The cold helps to constrict the blood vessels so it slows the flow of blood to that area. I found that doing one of those things helped the best and even made the pain go away fairly quickly. (from @ILoathePorn)

“...E + F + C = M. That is, Excitement plus Fatigue, plus Confusion equals Mistakes.”- Rutledge Etheridge, Agent of Destruction (from @douggie1962)

Habits form in a loop: cue - routine - reward.
Successfully changing a habit requires three things:
- identify your cues
- replace the routine with something else
- get reward from doing the new routine
You can apply this to any habit behaviour. The people who successfully beat addictions are those who have planned out every detail - they have a detailed relapse prevention strategy for dealing with triggers and urges.
Urges feel awful but it can be helpful to remember that the average urge lasts less than 10 minutes. If you can plan out something to do that's distracting for when urges hit. A walk or run is good because it gets you away from the computer and also gives reward in itself... The other thing to remember is that porn may be all you can think about if you've seen a trigger but a day or two later it'll [most likely] be forgotten again. (from @diddykong)

Fantasizing... "I realized my fantasies are not fantasies but chains - chains holding me back from real joy, real achievement, real living. A good way to know if something is good for you is how you feel after you do it. I NEVER feel better after indulging in self medication, I never feel better after fapping or giving into or dwelling on, a fantasy (and by fantasy I mean porn or fetish or unwanted fantasy -[places] that I think PMO has taken me that are disconnected from what I am really attracted to.)" (from @ivanhoe)

This a journey. Unless you began your addiction yesterday, don't expect to have complete victory by tomorrow. It takes time. We are here for you for as long as it takes.

Identifying your triggers is like hearing an early warning alarm showing you the enemy is lurking and ready to strike. Your triggers are you weak points and the PMO already exploits them so it would be wise for you to know them as well.
Your triggers will be those things that occur and you find yourself wanting to turn to PMO for escape and comfort. There are visual triggers that may be avoided but the emotional triggers are much more difficult to avoid. Here are some common emotional triggers:

Laziness

Fear

Hunger

Anger/ aggravation / frustration

Loneliness

Tiredness

Depression

Inebriation

Depression

General stress

Need for control/ feeling out of control or loss of control

Boredom

Helplessness

Click to expand...

DJ,
This is so helpful. I am keeping this by my side. Thank you.
Dakota12, Jan 23, 2017

Dakota12, Jan 23, 2017

#26

AndySky180, Big Brother and D . J . like this.
Jan 27, 2017 #27

Big Brother Fapstronaut

443

204

43

You're a very kind human being.

Big Brother, Jan 27, 2017

Big Brother, Jan 27, 2017

#27

AndySky180 and D . J . like this.
Jan 27, 2017 #28

Big Brother Fapstronaut

443

204

43

HappyDaysAreHereAgain said: ↑

Great list.
You might want to add something on showers, such as:
Keep them short; take them cold.
Click to expand...

Lol one reason I stopped taking cold showers, and I mean ice cold the dial all the way to the right (is that cold where you live lol?) is because I kept reading articles and watching videos about taking 5 to 15 minute long cold showers??? Like really dude it doesn't even take that long to wash yourself why would you stand under ice for that long???

Big Brother, Jan 27, 2017

Big Brother, Jan 27, 2017

#28

AndySky180 and D . J . like this.
Jan 27, 2017 #29

D . J . Fapstronaut

13,509

8,628

143

My Journal

Big Brother said: ↑

Lol one reason I stopped taking cold showers, and I mean ice cold the dial all the way to the right (is that cold where you live lol?) is because I kept reading articles and watching videos about taking 5 to 15 minute long cold showers??? Like really dude it doesn't even take that long to wash yourself why would you stand under ice for that long???
Click to expand...

Notice I said some suggest cold showers. I'm not a cold shower kinda' guy.

D . J ., Jan 27, 2017

D . J ., Jan 27, 2017

#29

AndySky180 likes this.
Jan 27, 2017 #30

APS Fapstronaut

47

53

63

Very good stuff. Thanks.
And the best to you.

APS, Jan 27, 2017

APS, Jan 27, 2017

#30

AndySky180 and D . J . like this.
Feb 3, 2017 #31

radioboy182 Fapstronaut

8

3

3

D . J . said: ↑

For those who want a counter, click on this link.
Click to expand...

I tried the link to set up a counter, U sure the link is working?

radioboy182, Feb 3, 2017

radioboy182, Feb 3, 2017

#31
Feb 3, 2017 #32

D . J . Fapstronaut

13,509

8,628

143

My Journal

There have been ongoing problems with the counterso it may not be working properly.

D . J ., Feb 3, 2017

D . J ., Feb 3, 2017

#32
Feb 3, 2017 #33

FutureNow Fapstronaut

59

81

18

radioboy182 said: ↑

I tried the link to set up a counter, U sure the link is working?
Click to expand...

I joined yesterday and couldn't set up the counter; some site admin said it wasn't working

FutureNow, Feb 3, 2017

FutureNow, Feb 3, 2017

#33

D . J . likes this.
Feb 3, 2017 #34

D . J . Fapstronaut

13,509

8,628

143

My Journal

FutureNow said: ↑

I joined yesterday and couldn't set up the counter; some site admin said it wasn't working
Click to expand...

There are issues with the counter. I know that NoFap is working on creating their own but until then...

D . J ., Feb 3, 2017

D . J ., Feb 3, 2017

#34
Feb 3, 2017 #35

Jojo man Fapstronaut

205

187

43
D . J . said: ↑

This will not be my official journal but this is a place on the forum where I will store all of the tips that have shared with others as well as tips I have seen others post. It is an ongoing list and will continue to grow.

Everything ain't for everybody and if something doesn't work for you or you don't agree with it... don't do it, continue reading until you find something that does.

It is very important to understand that the strategies below are to help you through the journey but it is vital that you replace your old habits with new habits so that you won't fall backwards into your old habits. When you stop watching porn and masturbating and you do not replace those habits/ activities with healthier ones, chances are great you will return to where you once found comfort and escape.

Here is a growing collection of startup strategies compiled from myself and I've added some from others on NoFap. Keep these in mind, this is by no means a be-all-end-all list of suggestions but it is a list for you to use and add to for yourself and modify to meet your needs. Check back every once in awhile because I do add to it. Also skim over the entire list because new tips may not always be added at the end of the list.

Understand that you are engaged in a war to regain the possession of the life you unknowingly gave away to PMO. It should be treated as a hostile enemy because it doesn't play fairly. By not taking this seriously or by taking this halfheartedly, you will get very far before frustration causes you to surrender to the enemy. Be warned, failure is a part of the process. Not every battle will be won. There are many success stories to show that victory is possible but remember, an addict always has the opportunity to fall backwards and thus again surrendering the life you have fought so hard to regain. The battling may end soon for some but the war may last a lifetime for others. That doesn't mean there will be constant battles for life. Even in times of peace the enemy is out to still, kill and destroy you. Take up your shield and your sword and prepare for war!

Addiction... Am I really an addict?

You wonder if you really have an addiction or you "just happen to like porn/ masturbation" well, the way you know something has control over you or not is, to choose to stop doing it, at that moment, to never do it again. If the thought of that unnerves you, there's a problem, if you can't do it, you have an addiction. For an example, normal addictions everyone has are to food, water and air.

Just because you've progressed more than you initially expected on your first (or first few) tries, it doesn't make you any less of an addict than those who are struggling lots more or who have a darker history. Accepting that you're an addict is not enough, you are a serious addict, we are all serious addicts. There are no "stages" or "degree" in a PMO addiction (at least that's how your mindset needs to be). (from @ZenPhysics)

Addiction acceptance means you acknowledge what you thought you were controlling is now controlling you. Once you accept you have an addiction:

Delete all of the P that you have from your computer and smartphone including the browser history and cookies. This will not stop you but will slow you down.

Here is how to block sites on iPhone and iPad Safari.

Identify your triggers. What are the things that you happening in your world to cause you to turn to PMO for escape and comfort! This is the most crucial step in the process.

Once your triggers are identified, determine healthy ways of dealing with those triggers such as exercise, running, leaving the stressful situation and going outside for air.

How to use the NoFap forums will show you how to maneuver around the NoFap site.

Newbies: List Of Reboot Resources will help understand what NoFap is about. Within this link is a link to a glossary of terms commonly used on NoFap. This will help you communicate knowledgeably and more effectively:

Go to Your Brain On Porn to learn more about the effect PMO has on you. Do this also to educate yourself on the damage you are doing to yourself.

Guard your eyes. Be careful of what you allow yourself to see. No, you cannot live with your eyes closed but you can determine how long you look at something. If you know it may cause you to fall, flee from it! Run in the other direction, sometimes that need to be literal.

When you go to the bathroom, don't take your smartphone with you. (from @countryboy94)

Be careful of visual triggers from social media. Delete accounts if necessary. (from @countryboy94)

Stop placing yourself in situations where the situation has leverage over you. That means stop placing yourself where you know you may get weak and either give in at the moment or later on.

When you see yourself beginning to be in a bad situation (ex. alone with a computer and horny), say what you feel or know you are about to do or likely to do so you can hear yourself say it. (Ex. "I'm alone in a room [with a computer] and I'm feeling lonely [or whatever the emotion is] and horny and I want to [watch watch porn and] masturbate but if I do that, I will have lost the progress I've made". By hearing you say what you are about to do, you may realize the price you pay is not worth what you will receive in return.

Masturbation... do not keep your hands to yourself. Unless you are bathing, changing your underwear or actually using the bathroom, your hands should be nowhere near your penis. YOU ARE BANNED FROM TOUCHING YOUR PENIS FOR RECREATION!!! IT IS NOT A TOY!!!

IF YOU ENGAGE IN PRONE MASTURBATION (masturbation while on your stomach) STOP THIS BEHAVIOR NOW!!! YOU ARE HARMING YOURSELF!!!

Edging - Masturbation without ejaculation or to prolong the act of ejaculation, so if you have been edging, you have been masturbating, they are the same thing [to those who know this, there are too many who seem to see these as two separate actions or issues... they are not.]

Your bed is limited to only the time you are sleeping. No laying in bed other than that. As soon you awake, you should get out of bed. Can't sleep, if awake for more than a few minutes, get out of bed until you are sleepy enough to go to sleep.

Keep doors open unless necessary. You need to be isolated as little as possible. You're less likely to M when people can see you.

Keep curtains and blinds open as much as possible. Similar reason as above and also allows light inside. Many times M'ing is more likely in dark places.

At night, keep lights on as often as possible. Similar to above, lights on may lessen your desire to fap.

If you are a naked sleeper or a boxer sleeper, consider sleeping in a in jockstrap, cup or briefs or compression shorts, something more constrictive so that you are less likely to feel movement while falling asleep or when awaking. They may provide a better barrier to prevent those that subconsciously reach for their penis at night or in the morning. They may also be a visual barrier for those that have morning erections too irresistible to not touch.

Many have found cold and short showers beneficial for temptations control.

If you have a faith, lean into it. Allow it to strengthen you in times of weakness. Many of us have gained strength in our weakest moments due to our faith. There are several spiritual and religious groups that are on NoFap dedicated to allow a person to gain additional encouragement and strength through prayer, scripture.

There are other social groups as well which support those looking for a specific community of similar interests.

Consider seeking an accountability partner. We in the forum will help you but some may become stronger with one or a few to keep them accountable.

Never agree with your temptation. (@mvp35lusanity)

Begin a journal so that others can encourage you and connect with you.To create a journal, go to the Reboot Logs, find your age group, begin a thread. That thread is your journal. Go back to your first post and place a link to your new journal there so people can find you can follow you.

For those who want a counter, click on this link.

Become active in this community. The more active you are, the less time you will spend focused on you. The less time focused solely on you, the faster time goes. There is an old saying, "a watched pot of water doesn't boil any faster", which means for this example, focusing solely on yourself and your issues won't make them go away sooner. It's OK to track progress but when spending more time doing other things that were once important to you and encouraging others, you will notice the time of your sobriety will go so much faster than if you didn't.

Each one, teach one means for each person who has been helped, consider teaching another person from his or her own experiences.

Whatever you feed will grow and whatever you starve will eventually die! Each time you PMO you feed the addiction, each time you resist, you starve the addiction.

[Advice and rant] Along your journey, reflect back to who you were but don't go backwards! What I mean is don't fight to gain a week or a month or 6 months sobriety then waste the progress by "checking to see if my penis still works because I've been flatlining and I haven't been horny in awhile". Really? That is only a lie you are telling yourself to MO. If it didn't work, you would feel nothing at all, even when urinating. Seriously! You cannot have it both ways! You cannot complain when you are always horny and then complain when your not horny at all. Consider it a NoFap resting station. Keep moving forward.

Similarly, don't decide to "watch P to see if you are still affected by it! If you have been watching P for a year... 5 years... 10, 20. 30 years, what makes you think being sober for a week to 6 months is going to override all of the years you've been watching P. Think about it! [Note: For those of you who are new to this forum, the previous two may be lies you tell yourself while in recovery. These two may seem crazy and you may think this is common sense but too many have admitted to one of or both of these situations. This is how powerful the addiction can be. Don't allow yourself to fall into this trap of the enemy called a brain addicted to PMO].

PMO is not a need; it is not analogous to our needs for sex and relationships and food. PMO is an addiction; a drug. It is an artificial construct; asimulation designed to hijack our brain.
The fact that there is no single "physical substance" only makes PMO more dangerous. The physical substance being abused in the case of PMO is our brain.
That said, we will NOT allow our brain to be abused by the pornography industry. We will NOT crave the company of pixels over our friends and families. We will NOT be a slave to witless desires that ruin our relationships and stunt our personal and professional growth. We will NOT stop yearning, striving and persevering again PMO. (from @Tomato_Bisque)

Learn from your past mistakes. Making the same mistakes will wear your resolve to fight longer. If possible, learn from the mistakes others' have made. There are far too many new mistakes that can be made than to get stuck making old ones. If you have a relapse/ reset, ask yourself "What could you have done that you didn't do which have not resulted in a relapse/reset?", then the next time you are in a similar situation, do that!

Beware of what I call the urge ambush. Urge ambushes are those times when all seems to be going well and you feel as though all is fine and then, from out of nowhere, BAM!!!! You get hit by powerful urges to PMO, not provoked by anything you have done but they, at times, can seem crippling and you really have to fight your way free from those urges. When that happens, you've been urge ambushed!

NoFap works best when you see the damage PMO has done to your life and you want to regain what you have given away.

"To have sex" and/or "just having a relationship" are not healthy main goals because you are potentially seeing the the other person as an object whose purpose is to satisfy you, similar to watching porn. A goal of becoming a better, healthier, confident person allows someone to notice and a new you (even if you already have a spouse or are already in a relationship) which may result in having sex or a relationship. It's more about growing as a person without PMO as results do vary.

You must renew my commitment for sobriety each day. The commitment is only valid for 24 hours. Next day you are free to make a new decision. Each day choose for sobriety. (from @alex_sober)

Wet dreams are a part of the process for many. If they occur for you, they do not count as a relapse or a reset. They are only messy and annoying.

Blue balls... they occur and it is uncomfortable but do not allow this condition to become a hinderance because it does pass.

...the trick I used was cold showers. You could also take an ice pack and place it down there or a bag of frozen peas, etc. The cold helps to constrict the blood vessels so it slows the flow of blood to that area. I found that doing one of those things helped the best and even made the pain go away fairly quickly. (from @ILoathePorn)

“...E + F + C = M. That is, Excitement plus Fatigue, plus Confusion equals Mistakes.”- Rutledge Etheridge, Agent of Destruction (from @douggie1962)

Habits form in a loop: cue - routine - reward.
Successfully changing a habit requires three things:
- identify your cues
- replace the routine with something else
- get reward from doing the new routine
You can apply this to any habit behaviour. The people who successfully beat addictions are those who have planned out every detail - they have a detailed relapse prevention strategy for dealing with triggers and urges.
Urges feel awful but it can be helpful to remember that the average urge lasts less than 10 minutes. If you can plan out something to do that's distracting for when urges hit. A walk or run is good because it gets you away from the computer and also gives reward in itself... The other thing to remember is that porn may be all you can think about if you've seen a trigger but a day or two later it'll [most likely] be forgotten again. (from @diddykong)

Fantasizing... "I realized my fantasies are not fantasies but chains - chains holding me back from real joy, real achievement, real living. A good way to know if something is good for you is how you feel after you do it. I NEVER feel better after indulging in self medication, I never feel better after fapping or giving into or dwelling on, a fantasy (and by fantasy I mean porn or fetish or unwanted fantasy -[places] that I think PMO has taken me that are disconnected from what I am really attracted to.)" (from @ivanhoe)

This a journey. Unless you began your addiction yesterday, don't expect to have complete victory by tomorrow. It takes time. We are here for you for as long as it takes.

Identifying your triggers is like hearing an early warning alarm showing you the enemy is lurking and ready to strike. Your triggers are you weak points and the PMO already exploits them so it would be wise for you to know them as well.
Your triggers will be those things that occur and you find yourself wanting to turn to PMO for escape and comfort. There are visual triggers that may be avoided but the emotional triggers are much more difficult to avoid. Here are some common emotional triggers:

Laziness

Fear

Hunger

Anger/ aggravation / frustration

Loneliness

Tiredness

Depression

Inebriation

Depression

General stress

Need for control/ feeling out of control or loss of control

Boredom

Helplessness

Here is an acronym of triggers to remember as well, SIFT:

Sensations

Images

Feelings

Thoughts

When dealing with triggers, remember to STOP!:

Stop

Take a breath

Observe feelings, sensations and thoughts

Proceed with something that will help you in the moment (i.e. coping skills)

Click to expand...

A urges last for ten minutes I didn't know that.
Jojo man, Feb 3, 2017

Jojo man, Feb 3, 2017

#35
Feb 3, 2017 #36

D . J . Fapstronaut

13,509

8,628

143

My Journal

Jojo man said: ↑

A urges last for ten minutes I didn't know that.
Click to expand...

Did I write that?

D . J ., Feb 3, 2017

D . J ., Feb 3, 2017

#36
Feb 5, 2017 #37

Benjorizzo Fapstronaut

29

38

13

Thank you, D.J., great stuff. Your dedication to this is inspiring!

Benjorizzo, Feb 5, 2017

Benjorizzo, Feb 5, 2017

#37

D . J . likes this.
Feb 6, 2017 #38

Lani Guest

Thanks for pointing me to this - it was really interesting and I especially liked the last part about identifying triggers! So important. I'm going to start a journal

Lani, Feb 6, 2017

Lani, Feb 6, 2017

#38

D . J . likes this.
Feb 7, 2017 #39

Marakena Fapstronaut

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I am amazed with this post! This is like short version of NoFap Bible! If anyone of admins is willing to do something like that, to write a manual, let's say, with informations like this, that would save a tons of time for everyone, because there will be a place where people new to this whole thing can find answers.

Still, awesome post, really, I LOVE this kind of posts, direct, on point, value-rich and serious. I salute you, nofap brother

Marakena, Feb 7, 2017

Marakena, Feb 7, 2017

#39

B_4cussed and D . J . like this.
Feb 7, 2017 #40

D . J . Fapstronaut

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Marakena said: ↑

I am amazed with this post! This is like short version of NoFap Bible! If anyone of admins is willing to do something like that, to write a manual, let's say, with informations like this, that would save a tons of time for everyone, because there will be a place where people new to this whole thing can find answers.

Still, awesome post, really, I LOVE this kind of posts, direct, on point, value-rich and serious. I salute you, NoFap brother
Click to expand...

Thanks.

D . J ., Feb 7, 2017

D . J ., Feb 7, 2017

#40

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