How to become manlier after years of PMO-induced feminization?

Hello everyone!
I have adrenal problems, but I also don't feel comfortable with being a male. I fall in love only with females and I am sexually attracted only to them but I still feel they hate the male gender. I still see lots of mysandrist writings online and they ruin my self-confidence. I would cry as a boy when reding one of those women-are-superior articles. There is something seriously wrong with a society where articles like this are published and I don't feel part of it. Due to this even if I get a GF that I love, I just want to get even for all these articles, for the crying and for my female abusers in HS. So how can I become more comfortable with my maleness and I also have adrenal fatigue that makes me less confident as well so I act very resentful towards most females. Then again why should I forgive or forget when they had a choice to not write articles like that and my classmates could chose NOT to abuse me? Also PMO made me even less manly. I want to be comfortable with my gender as I'm attracted to females only, believe me I know. But that low confidense chases them away.

 

That's not going to happen! I advise you not to mess with your body, you could do yourself untold damage. Chill dude.

 

Nothing wrong with drinking tea but don't get too caught up in all that supplementation. The paleo diet is a good diet if you have blood sugar issues but you shouldn't avoid carbs all together, it could probably make things worse in the long run. I think the best thing for you to do is to eat some natural sources of carbs every now and then, but you should completely avoid all processed junk. For example there's nothing wrong with eating some french fries with that steak every once in a while. Seems like you're losing weight fast, and the paleo-diet is a fat-shredder. If you get too skinny just eat more. Also it's best to eat carbs at night when your metabolism is performing like it should. Chances are that your metabolism is simply out of whack because of all the porn use. Believe me you are not alone.

 

Your adrenal fatigue must have been pre-existing, most likely because of the PMO. The best thing you can do is to completely abstain right now. You'll automatically build more tolerance to certain foods. You need to steer clear from the processed junk though. It most certainly are the sugars that are causing you to feel bad. It's poisonous if you have adrenal fatigue. Also you need to avoid wheat if you have adrenal fatigue. Look into leaky gut - gluten intolerance (see drlam.com)
Take care

 

https://www.drlam.com/blog/masturbation-and-fatigue/6083/

" Frequent orgasms can lead to sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous function imbalance, stressing the adrenals as they try to stabilize this imbalance by putting out more cortisol, the anti-stress hormone. Excessive cortisol output over time can lead to low cortisol levels and adrenal exhaustion."

 

Wait. How can you convert T into estrogen if your levels are okay??? Doesn't make sense. T tends to fluctuate, up to 40% from average. Really the best you can do is to abstain from all P, M and O. I'll bet you this will have a huge impact on the cortisol issues you are having. Give yourself the rest you need and you will automatically become more manly. The main problem is that you have rewired your brain because of the P. P does not necessarily reflect your real sexual taste or preference. Address this issue through abstinence.

 

I have to admit, I have issues with my adrenal glands too, but that came about long before I started eating paleo. I'm sure the paleo diet isn't as much of a stressor as eating processed foods. The biggest stressor you need to avoid, by all means, is PMO. That is what made you weak in the first place. It's no coincidence that the adrenals produce a wide variety of sex hormones. Anyone who masturbates will eventually experience this kind of problem. Sadly you only hit rock bottom as soon as you decide to give up on masturbation, so instead of being rewarded for it, your body drags you through hell first.
Imo you can even eat junk food say once or twice a week, as long as you abstain from all PMO. I'm almost certain that all of your issues were caused by PMO, the uncertainty, the food intolerances, I'm going through the exact same thing... Can't eat a candy bar without experiencing extreme fatigue for a day or two. Giving up on PMO even made my diarrhea disappear. I always thought it was normal to have loose stools, until I gave up on PMO. That's what PMO can do it not only undermines mental health, it's bad for physical health as well.

 

Thanks. I really hate all media and the Internet right now. I was exposed to reading man-bashing articles early on on how women are superior in just about any way. That totally ruined my self-confidence. And once I discovered the Internet it became worse with reading Western media doing their male-shaming routine. I wish I never learnt English at times, but our sites sometimes do it too. I really would cry because I was made to feel inferior for being male and I just hate the male-bashing many females write as a kid, I really remember hating myself due to those articles. It all comes as too much misandry really. Maybe should've titled the thread "Feminists ruined my life and made me hate being male"

And then in high school I was emotionally abused by mostly girls and as I cannot hit a girl I couldn't help it. I literally feel like I cannot trust females and I have resentment towards them. But don't get me wrong - I only get hard and fall in love with females. I just hate them as a general community. Of course when I get a GF I have issues with that - even if I love her, I want to get back at her for what women have done to me and try to play psychological games. I can't help it, I cannot let go and I don't want to forget or forgive. There is no karma as the jerks abusing me in HS have still better lives than me 10 years later.

In 2013 I almost was able to move on and surprise surprise I went NoFap back then due to health issues. I didn't know that was the thing that helped me. But still, even if I move on, I will always have the thought that all women feel resentment towards all males so I will never fully invest and connect.

 

I bet you haven't read Jezebel.com recently. Or at all. That's how most women think really. Yes, not all, but most. For this reason I no longer have any female friends, I no longer hold doors for anyone, if I see a woman screaming for help I think I'll do nothing, etc. I basically mind my own business.

I cannot just snap out of it and forget all the abuse, the laughter, being treated like I'm scum etc. in high school. They had a choice to be good to me, yet they chose to abuse me, call me names and laugh at me. Being a teenager doesn't excuse anyone of cruelty. So now I feel like I have to hurt as many people emotionally as have hurt me, to spread the karma, or rather to get even. I want revenge really for my terrible experiences. It might sound evil, but that's how I feel. If their lives were terrible now, I'd let go, but no, they still have the perfect lives.

Maybe I can let go but only concerning foreign females, but I'll never trust those from my culture or the culture that created sites like Jezebel.com. So I avoid 'Muricans and Anglo-Saxons with vaginas as well as my local kind.

So far I haven't really hurt anyone really, I just avoid them and ghost them as I cannot stand their company if it doesn't involve sex. Even our female teacher would ignore the abuse as they were female, so she was like "girls would never do that".

Of course I've went NoContact with all of them, but these days I cried a lot about those things. I guess relapsing made my hormones crazy again. And that means the pain hasn't healed.

My point is I was just an inocent kid God dammit, I did not deserve anything of that and I did not provoke them. Maybe my destiny is to be bitch/witch-magnet, idk. I really enjoy telling them "I don't owe you friendship, fuck off!" I know that creates even more gender wars, but I do as I feel. Which is sad really as I miss the romantic flings I had as a kid all the way to right before HS. I shrugged off the male-bashing articles for that reason. But after the abuse in HS, articles like those at Jezebel.com just make me feel like next time I hear a female neighbour screaming I'll put my headphones on and do nothing. No one ever helped me when I was at my lowest, even when I would ask for help, so I feel entitled not to help others. I only help elderly females, because they remind me of my grandma.

 

But what about things like Jezzebel and the likes, they seem to be triggering and leading to self-hatred and shame. Stop reading any press? I don't see how can any guy can read that crap and feel good about themselves.

Therapy did nothing. Only avoiding negative people, articles and other triggers helped. In 2013 I not only did NoFap but I avoided the Internet as much as possible, and by extension reduced my media intake. I think we all should avoid media as much as possible. They often exaggerate things for shock value and don't care how offensive they sound to many people.

If media didn't exist it would've been much easier for me to move on. I think I really should go on an Internet media fast again and use K9 to block all news and political/activist groups (=propaganda of all kinds, left or rights, to me it's all propaganda bs, negative and melodramatic). Ironically those are all written by some privileged people in some comfy expensive office or condo in LA, Manhattan, London and the likes. Continential Europe is much more moderate on the male-bashing IMO.

 

My voice literally sounds feminine or stereotypically gay - lisp and all. It's also nasal due to sinus problems. I don't hear it like that in my head at all. I think some things are not only based on society. Low, deep voices without lisp is what is typical for male humans. Also, I put on weight usually as fat in my thights and ass first, then my abdomen. Just like a female. And cannot gain any muscle no matter how hard I train, they just don't grow. I think I convert too much T to E or/and my AF makes my adrenals produce weird ammounts of hormones. Tried tribulus but it taxes the adrenals I think as it's stimulatory. My next thing to try is Damiana.