90 days, hard mode

Hello everyone,

I'm new, but not so new. I've been on this forum before. I believe last year sometime. I tried to not PMO but ended up believing that porn and PMO weren't as harmful as everyone here were making it seem. Well, I'm done with that mindset and I'm ready to go all the way. I've been porn-free for seven days. Even had my first wet dream last night!

I'm still not positive that abstaining from PMO and porn will help me but I'm so sick and tired of the brain fog and what it does to my mental health that I'm doing it anyway just to see what's going to happen. It seems that all of my symptoms can be attributed to my years of daily 3-6 PMOs to porn.

- My memory sucks.
- I have chronic low-grade anxiety.
- I have that constant soupy, heavy feeling in my head.
- I am less resilient to rejection and anything that feels like it (I go into protect mode when this happens: I ignore the person who "rejected" me and I swirl down into depression).
- I feel disconnected to my feelings for the most part and cannot describe them to others
- I have a lack of mental clarity that is disturbing (I'm used to it now)

There is a woman I know that I want to date but I won't do it because of my mental condition. I am confident that I will hurt her somehow because of the combination of my brain fog and childhood experiences that cause me to react innapropriately. I want to be the man that I know I am but can't be because I've damaged my brain through porn and PMO (maybe?). I'm ready to quit for good and I'm ready to become the amazing guy I know that I am.

 

Th

Thank you for this.
I'm curious, do you know what withdrawal feels like?