Losing my family

You got it this time. Congrats on joining up. I'm new to this as of last night and have learned so much about addiction. Keep it up @cmlhockey6 you got this.

 

Yup, that's what led me here. What led me to the video is a book I'm reading called "Surfing for God" (as in you're not surfing the internet for porn, but for God). Good book for me as I'm a Christian, and might be good for non christians as well, but definitely a strong faith bend in it. I got to the chapter on the science of it all and was blown away.

 

Welcome to the forum. I had as similar rock-bottom moment over a year ago. My wife knew about my problem for years but I made sure it wasn't a topic I wanted to talk about. She finally had enough and threatened to move out, take our children with her, and tell everyone the real reason why if they asked. I had to quit or I was going to lose everything. After 25 years of half-assed efforts to stop I started researching and finally got the answers I needed. I never viewed it as an addiction but once I applied addiction techniques then I finally had success.

One piece of information that opened my eyes was when I learned about 'the trance' or 'autopilot mode'. Addicts go into a trance when they engage in their addiction. It is a pain-free, judgment-free, stress-free state of mind. Parts of your brain literally shut down (hypofrontality) which controls higher thinking. It affects decision making, time management, risk management, morality, and your sense of right and wrong. It's the reason why we can do something so horribly wrong, not feel bad about it while we are doing it, and then feel twice as bad after we are done. It is also there reason why willpower alone cannot overcome an addiction.

I hope you find the information, advice, and support you need to finally conquer this addiction and restore peace and love to your family.

 

You gotta start getting tougher on yourself.

 

Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?

 

Check out In Case You Didn't Know for strategies and tips which may help you along your journey.

 

I can so relate to you. Even though you love her with all you've got, you don't think about them while tapping. We need to stay strong. They r all we live for, all we've got

 

OK, man, it is important to have a reason when quitting, a good reason, a reason that is important to you. This habit is a habit we probably would not quit unless it had some bad repercussions in our lives. Cigarette smokers would not quit if it did not affect them adversely. They lose lung capacity and eventually get cancer. There are all kinds of bad results from using porn all the time. From PIED (porn induced erectile dysfunction) to social interaction problems.
"When I quit, I quit. I did not count the days, I woke up every morning and said to myself I am never going back". I think that is the mindset you must have.

 

Chris, we men feel weak at the "very moment" of temptation, especially if we have been watching porn for a long time. So, we feel horny, it is the time of the "urges"? Sometimes it is too late to try to do something at the "very moment". Maybe I can clarify my thoughts on this sharing with you what happened to me when I was a teen ager. OK, I discovered my sexuality at 10 and, of course, as every boy does, I began masturbating every time I went to the toilet. At 12 I started highschool and my parents sent me to a school run by the Marist Brothers. Catholicism is strict about all things of sexual impurity, so these Bros. preached a lot against masturbation to us. But, nevertheless, I went on masturbating every night before going to sleep.

At 16 years of age, a good and nice young priest had a group of young men from the first years of College. I begun to attend their meetings and got to know them, I liked the environment. One of them invited me to attend the Mass that was celebrated daily by this priest. I gave a thought to it, decided not to fap any more and that was the end of it. There were little chances for young boys to watch porn. In those times, porn meant magazines like Playboy or Hustler, hard to get and very "expensive" for a teen ager.

I confess you that, when temptations came, I always remembered that I has been in a church that same morning, attending Mass and receiving Communion, so it was easy to resist and not to fall to temptation.

If you don´t have faith or religion, let me know. Please stay awy from porn, it is a devilish device, it comes directly from Satan. It is life destroying, not only harmful. Tell me more about that "very moment" when falls occur. I will have you in my prayers, dear boy, I would love to make a difference in your life with advice, encouragement and prayers.

 

Don't forget your best recourse to understanding God's will is His Word, the Bible. God is waiting on you to come back to Him as the prodigal son came back to his father.

 

I stumbled upon your post and as a women with this addiction I'm kinda in the same boat it is so tough. My boyfriend and I have been dealing with my issues for years and it got really bad a few weeks ago and threatened to leave me and that was a wake up call for me, I have been going to the gym a lot more than I was before, like 2 times a day or whenever I get that urge and that's been helping and also church has helped me reconnect and show me there are better things in life than porn and all that but I'm still new to this site so I just started up and it's been a rough few years but more so few months. Good luck. If you need to talk I'm here.