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What are some of your triggers?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Aarius, May 9, 2017.

  1. Aarius

    Aarius Fapstronaut

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    Hello all. I relapsed last night. P&M. I pretend I'm not doing any damage because I didn't O. I need to change that belief.

    I decided to make this post to discuss some of the non-sexual triggers in our lives. Let me share some of mine.

    I have a basement bedroom and so privacy is very easy. In my bedroom I have a small folding table propped against my bed (almost serves as a back board). On that desk sits my gaming laptop (heavy so it doesn't move much) and underneath an office chair. Why does any of this matter? I believe this environment serves as a trigger. There are many PMO experiences associated with that environment.

    I've started Charles Duhigg's The Power of Habit. From this, I've made a theory that PMO is a habit. There's a cue to PMO, there's the routine of fapping, and the reward of orgasm. I am yet to finish it but the author suggests that habits can be broken by identifying the reward, ensuring you still get the same reward, but changing the routine (PMO).

    Through this understanding I've changed my bedroom a little. I have put away the folding table and the six year old laptop now serves to stream netflix upstairs. I no longer sleep in bed, but instead on the floor. Now the bed and office chair are used for intimacy with my partner.

    Has this worked? I like to think it's helped. It had been a good two weeks without PM (O with my partner). I think the chaser got to me the past few days.

    What are some of your environmental/non-sexual triggers? What do you do to remove them or re-purpose them?
     
  2. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

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    loneliness is kind of trigger for me.

    TV also
     
  3. ominous1

    ominous1 Fapstronaut

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    My biggest triggers are loneliness and boredom. There isnt a specific object or arrangement that triggers me, or maybe there is and I just havent identified it. As long as I am out of the house I am able to keep my mind off of PMO. Hell even having the dog around keeps me from going down that road so I just have her follow me from room to room. Also if I am having a particularly bad craving i will hop in a cold shower, but this is the only time I do cold showers
     
    skullman and Heath like this.
  4. Anger and boredom. Specifically, anger at my wife does it everytime. Also, Chinese girls.
     
    geheim likes this.
  5. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    My kryptonite are beautiful women in their mid - late 30's passing me by daily, does it for me every time ... I have to turn away ... If not, I'll be thinking about them many times throughout the day . :emoji_disappointed:
    btw, I'm in my 20's .
     
  6. Mostly boredom but one thing is the feeling of "progress" in life, like doing a good deed or getting work done. I had to change that habit to another way off rewarding myself.
     
  7. Aarius

    Aarius Fapstronaut

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    Having the phone in bed with me is particularly dangerous. I'm considering turning it off and putting it away even before bedtime teeth brushing rituals.
     
  8. Yeah, I understand that too, which luckily for me I don't have a smartphone right now and I'm using my laptop which is somewhat heavily censored let's just say. When I get my new phone though I'm going to have to get a lot censoring software.
     
  9. Aarius

    Aarius Fapstronaut

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    Do you feel like censorship software is a crutch? I got rid of it. Even with it I would still find ways around it!
     
    Bel and Deleted Account like this.
  10. ProfessorW

    ProfessorW Fapstronaut

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    That's me too....the "game" then becomes how to beat the system....it winds up being part of it.
     
  11. BeautyForAshes

    BeautyForAshes Fapstronaut

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    The feeling of defeat. I have a dominant and territorial disposition. If I feel threatened by a guy (in any aspect), and feel that I "can't win"...yeah. Feeling irrelevant is one. I'm pretty sure depression is a no-brainer. And big butts. I love them. But, i'm rapidly bringing my ego under control.
     
  12. Believe it or not: underwear. I was into erotic art of men being dominated by women. Most of the time the guys are drawn in tighty-whities (perhaps because they're easier to draw, but I also think it makes them look more vulnerable/submissive). I've worn tighty-whities for years simply because putting them on is a turn on. I'm starting to make a list of things I need to get done to keep this reboot going strong... buying different underwear is one of my main priorities.
     
  13. Aarius

    Aarius Fapstronaut

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    These are all really interesting! Thank you for sharing:)
    I usually do more lurking than posting. I think posting more helps keep me on track.
     
    Bel likes this.
  14. Second_chance

    Second_chance Fapstronaut

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    Mine for sure is escapism, every time I have to face some responsability or chore I go for porn
     
    ProfessorW likes this.
  15. Steve Sancteria

    Steve Sancteria Fapstronaut

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    this kind of stuff is really helpfull in the begining, I personally would recommend any beginner to use such a thing, however they sort of only help for "easy urges" cause you are way too lazy to get up and find something to fap on, later on however you just won´t be too lazy to find a way around.

    Since I´ve stoped using blocking strategies I am way more confident especially during the first 2 weeks cause I know I don´t need such things to be safe when easy urges occur.
    Rather prepare to gather up your willpower when ever big urges appear, cause these ones have to be beaten by yourself instead of an external strategy.

    A big trigger of mine is laying around in bed and not getting out of there in the morning.
    Somehow I managed to become resistant to "usual" triggers such as erotic scenes in movies or series and similar stuff.

    So I personally think, certain habits do trigger way better than these "actual" triggers everyone tries to avoid.
    It´s also a very risky situation once you stop a good habit for some reason cause then you tend to stop other good habits as well ^^ and I personally think in our situation, NoFap is the actual habit instead of PMO :D
     
    Bel likes this.
  16. Your triggers can be basically anything. It depends on what you associate with PMO. It can be the bathroom, shower, bed, youtube, your phone, a certain smell or sound. Identify as many as your triggers as possible and opt to avoid them at all costs during your reboot. I decided to never touch my D, avoid any kind of triggering pictures, texts and not indulge in fantasies. I succeeded. For some reason I haven't even had a wet dream so far.
     
    Bel likes this.
  17. Steve Sancteria

    Steve Sancteria Fapstronaut

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    I personally would include to practice becoming aware that you are currently doing something that is used to be a trigger for you, cause you don´t have an urge instantly once you see your phone, smell something or what ever.
    Some triggers can´t be banished out of your life, but you turn the table when you recognize the trigger before it recognizes you :D

    For me, when ever I notice that I am not standing up from my bed, I instantly become aware that this is (for what reason ever I can´t tell you) a trigger of mine, so I just stand up before any urge can hit me.
     
    Bel and NF SINCE BIRTH like this.
  18. This is also a way to put it. Sometimes during your reboot, you cant avoid terrible urges. They will come in one form or another. This is when you will need to realize that Nofap is the only way out of this. The urges will pass and you will come out stronger on the other side. Dont ever test yourself though. This is though enough as it is, so removing all the triggers you can will be helpful.
     
  19. Aarius

    Aarius Fapstronaut

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    Laying around bed is a problem for me as well. During the week I have school/work to get up for but weekends can be risky!
     
    Bel likes this.
  20. Steve Sancteria

    Steve Sancteria Fapstronaut

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    you might wanna start using a habit that puts you out of bed no matter if it´s sunday or monday.

    I´ve watched a video about habits in general, and that guy said, sometimes you need to apply another habit to make a certain habit work.

    So what I´ve managed to apply, right after waking up, I walk to my phone, shutting down the alarm, turning on the light and then starting meditation.
    It became a habit to me which automatically made the habit "standing up from bed right after waking up" work.
    However, my last relapse happened because I´ve started to stop meditation for some days, so I didn´t automatically just wake up, turn on the lights and start meditating.
     
    Bel likes this.

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