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No friends

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by MuslimNoPorn, May 22, 2017.

  1. MuslimNoPorn

    MuslimNoPorn Fapstronaut

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    I feel really lonely and feel like I have no friends. :/
     
    CWA and LivinginRecovery like this.
  2. Protagonist

    Protagonist Fapstronaut

    I also feel like that many times. You should just grab your bicycle, go out and spend some time with yourself.
    But, it would be better if you go with your friends.
     
    LivinginRecovery likes this.
  3. It would be good if there was a friendship club in every city and anyone could go there and make friends. Sounds cheesy but so many people need it! We don't need a billion "new" phones being released every year, we need social spaces created that foster human connection in a non-creepy way with no ulterior motives. When that space happens and it doesn't have a desperate or lame or seedy vibe to it, it'd go off! Lonely hearts club :)
     
  4. LivinginRecovery

    LivinginRecovery Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I understand this. The world feels closer together now what with the advent of high speed internet and mobile phone technology however in some ways people seem to be more apart than they ever have been. I look around me and so many people are staring into small screens and forget they have a gf/bf beside them. I have even seen people talking with one another across corridors and carriages of train on their phones rather than chatting.

    If it consoles you I don't really have any friends in real life either. My mother is the only real friend I have and we're not exactly what I would term close. However the people I have met here at NoFap I consider to be friends and friends in the real sense because I am sharing things with them to help me recover, things I probably wouldn't share with a supposed 'real world' friend. I know it's not the same as being with someone in the flesh but please hold on to the fact that you are not alone even if you do feel that. I'm wishing you all the best. Please take care of yourself.
     
    dopecry and Deleted Account like this.
  5. Friends will come naturally to the person who lives for something greater than friends.
     
  6. Feeling like you have no friends, and actually having no friends are two very different things. If you are the former, then you should reach out to others are try and reconnect with friends and acquaintances.
    You could also try meeting up to do something like a movie, sport, walk, or even gaming is a great way to spend time with others online and over skype, and can lead to heaps of fun times if you enjoy that.

    Also remember that any relationship is a 2 way street, both you and the other person have to put effort into making it work.

    I've had feelings similar to yours, and they weren't entirely unwarranted, but I definitely blew them out of proportion on occasion, so just relax and do things which you enjoy to take your mind off of it. Your bio says thqt you are 15, there is plenty of time to make friends if you want new ones :)
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Remember this is temporary. When I was your age I didn't have any friends.
     
    Lazarus Shuttlesworth likes this.
  8. I barely have any real life friends either the people I talk to are more like colleagues than anything else. And even that is a stretch! It’s so much more difficult when you are doing hard mode I feel like I’m in social isolation. I don’t have anyone to hang out with and my primary way of meeting people (girls mostly) was through dating apps which I can’t use again until I have completed 90 days at least. I have anxiety so making friends with people in real life feels like an epic quest BUT I know it is possible. It’s more me holding back and letting this anxiety get the better of me that has me in this rut right now.

    I don’t know where you are from but you could try an app like https://www.meetup.com/about/

    Meetup brings people together in thousands of cities to do more of what they want to do in life. It is organized around one simple idea: when we get together and do the things that matter to us, we’re at our best. And that’s what Meetup does. It brings people together to do, explore, teach and learn the things that help them come alive.

    For example, people run marathons, thanks to running Meetups. They write, thanks to writing Meetups. They change their careers, thanks to career Meetups. Because at Meetups, people welcome each other. They talk, help, mentor, and support each other – all in pursuit of moving their lives forward.

    I will admit that i have not tried it myself but i once knew a girl who was on it and she had this group of people that she met up with and went to the cinema with. That was their thing movie watchers.
     
  9. To keep the friends you have @MuslimNoPorn, you have to be a friend. :) You need to keep in touch not push them away.
     
  10. I feel the same sometimes. I feel like I don't have friends either. The people around me don't really know the pain I'm in. It's sad. Friends will come eventually my friend. Work on yourself and be positive. Time heals all wounds after all.
     
  11. dopecry

    dopecry Fapstronaut

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    You just spoke my heart
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. Try to make an action plan.

    First: Figure out what you like in life and what you are passionate about.
    Second: Figure our where you can connect with like minded people.
    Third (most important): Take action, go to events, booking com, find things to go to, where you can meet people.
    Forth: Connect with those people, meet friends of their friends.
    Fifth: Spend more time with them, do new things with them.

    Extra: Read more about social dynamics, good youtube channel is charisma on command. Study books: How to influence people and win friends, Charisma on command.

    Also another thing to is, try to really feel loneliness, try to become okay with it. You need to accept that it is there. This does not mean you wouldn't change it in the future. But right now you may not have to opportunity to do something else. Try to meditate on that feeling and stop trying to run away from it. Feel it, embrace it, become okay with it, accept it, and then finally change it.

    Good luck brother!

    Thomas
     
  13. @MuslimNoPorn, this book is by Dale Carnegie.
     
    ThomasV likes this.

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