Please Help me...... ! :'(

Frivol with some stuff.Like working-out , watching a tv serie.Try to not think about fapping.

 

Here is a reply I made to a fapstronaut few time back.

"@Malik. Then why do you stay awake?? You can sleep too you know. Just make that decision. What are you doing instead of sleeping? Is it productive? How productive is it on a scale of ten?

Avoiding relapse may be about willpower. But if not, just analyze the times you relapse. And insert things that will prevent it. Is it night? Sleep it off. Is it keeping your laptop/tab/mobile in your bed when you sleep? Keep them in your parents room before going into yours. Is it the fact that you use your laptop alone? Use it in the family common room. Is it due to the fact that your parents go to work and you are alone? Ask them to put a password on it. Or maybe take it with them. You dont have to even tell them. Just say that it wastes your time and you need productive quality time without it.

Or is it that you just start fantasizing? Fill your mind with useful content. Maybe read self help books. Is it because you get tired of your work? Then sleep on middle of the day. Is it that your job requires that you be online 24/7? Then use opendns. Use porn blockers. Write a long password by jist crunching buttons and just cut paste it or write it on your own.

You see, willpower is never enough. You have to introduce new patterns in your life and they will block the bad ones. Just think about your last relapse. When was it? Where was it? What were you doing that triggered you?

I have tried to generate a lost of what your situation may be and ideas to counter it. I understand your patterns may not be the same. But, the idea is to get the thinking going in the right direction. Post answers to the questions mentioned in another thread. Novices will agree and veterans will give ideas. Use them. Reach out to people. Sometimes, there are ways to create help instead of getting it. And dont worry about the warrior or sage mindset. Its your success that matters most. And once you get comfortable blocking out porn; start working towards making your life better. A best of luck..."

Hope it helps you...

 

Hello Dude, first of all don't beat yourself up and move on, just forget what happened and start over again.
As for the urges, all or most of us at least have them so it is normal because you and even us were under its control a lot but you're trying to quit it. What I'm suggesting is don't focus on NoFap,just think of it as a challenge or anything or don't think of it all would be better.Start taking cold shower,I heard about it a lot and I'm sure you have too, you're not going to like it at first but that's the jewel of it,it makes you to fight what you hate to do and will make you much better.Porn blockers won't do you anything, it may sound weird but it is true.I personally tried them a lot but I found myself failing more than before so just forget porn already,if you can't then trick yourself that it isn't there anymore or you are no longer interested in it anymore. If you're working in computer a lot then make a list of things you're going to do today or even tomorrow and do them as fast as possible and turn it off.Start a journal of yourself and see others as well, it will encourage you a ton believe me, try to encourage others too. If you're interested in making accountable parters you can add me up, Good luck bro

 

I know everything you mean as I did the same thing with Porn and Youtube and also dealt with exams and revision at this age, Yet managed to go 60 days without PMO during my revision and exam process on willpower alone although when it ended the holidays came with relapse, still the blockers won't block youtube so its up to your self control to not watch those videos.

Main thing is get off the computer, If your studying (what I did) Turn off the computer and study in another room. Keep yourself not just busy, but live in the moment, so when your studying you can't be writing stuff down but kinda thinking about masturbating, you have to have 100% focus on what your doing and indulge yourself in that moment in time without thinking about anything else.

Learn from the relapse, realize how you got to that point and take measures to avoid it next time, WE can't give you some kind of trick that works every time, stopping this addiction is all up to YOU and your determination and willpower, but mostly just removing PMO as an option in your life in general, eradicate it as a possibility, as if it doesn't even exist. Whatever your goal is, you have to want it bad enough to succeed.

 

Hey there! I definitely suggest creating a journal. You may also want to look into an accountability partner. Journals enable you to look back on your journey thus far and see how much good has come from quitting PMO which is a great way to stay motivated when you are feeling urges!

Accountability partners would definitely be great because you could easily hit your partner up if you're feeling too much pressure and need some extra motivation to stay the course. Best of luck!

 

I dont want to brag but i defiantly have above average will power. I am an extremely motivated and driven person. Everything i set my mind to i accomplish. Then i decided i wanted to quit PMO and its extremly frustrating because i keep failing. It doesn't matter how motivated i am i cant get past 2-3 week and most of the time i dont even make it to 1 week. Iv learned i cant beat PMO just by wanting to beat it more then anything else, i have to change my entire life style. For me that means the type of music i listen to, movies/tv shows i watch, and how i think about girls. Changing your life style dosnt happen over night, it takes time. Every time you fall try to make sure you never fall that way again, learn from your mistakes. It takes time but i believe if we keep working at it without rest we will have our breakthrough moment and enjoy the rewards for all the hard work. Good Luck and keep fighting!

 

This. We live in a society that is conditioned to believe that you can achieve success instantly if you only "believe in yourself". Which is bullshit. To achieve success (in anything) you need to do hard work. Having a strong motivation is one thing but even best motivation won't help a bit if a proper action doesn't follow it.

When someone is fat people tell them "just go on a diet". So they do and fail. Even if they manage to keep a harsh diet and lose few kilos they quit the diet and gain even more kilos than they had.
To really lose weight one has to change their diet and lifestyle permanently. If you make a permanent change in your life you will see permanent results.


Same with quitting PMO. Sitting alone at home and focusing hard to not masturbate will make you fail. You need to make a change in your life so you won't have time to think about fapping. We fap when we are bored or sad. Work on your life so you will never be bored or sad anymore. Hit a gym. Ride a bicycle. Leave house to meet friends or just walk in a park. Sign up to dance school. Read books. Play guitar. Do things that you enjoy or try something new.

You don't want to just quit PMO. You want to change your life for better and quitting PMO is just a part of the process. Act accordingly.

"Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do."


Best of luck

 

I used to do the same thing when I first installed my filter. I would fap to things that weren't technically considered as porn because the real porn was blocked. I later found out that the key to stopping this was to change my mindset, because no matter how hard I tried to block it, sexual material will still be there if I chose to look for it. I would recommend taking time to read or watch videos about the negative effects of PMO and how to overcome the addiction. That really helped me because it reassured my decision to stay away from PMO, making it a bit easier. The other thing that really helped me was changing my lifestyle by adding in positive things to my life and making it harder to PMO. I asked myself how I wanted my future to turn out, and what my goals were. I then listed out activities that would bring me closer to achieving these goals, and I tried to make it a habit to do at least one of the activities each day. Another way I changed my lifestyle is by trying to make it more interesting. I would hang out with friends and exercise more, and the more I did these things, the less appealing PMOing seemed. Hope this helps and good luck!

 

when the mind clicks ..

 

May be a good idea to set your goal to 7 days, and when you reach it adjust the counter for 14 days, and then 21 etc...After many relapses it is better to set short realistic goals than go for 20 days. If you relapse on the 4th day out of 7 the feeling of pain will be a lot less than 4th day out of 20.

In the end, learn to deal with pain and failure. Accept it, forgive yourself, dust yourself off and keep trying. Failure is not falling down, it is instead refusing to get up after falling down.