Forgetting the addiction - Question for Veterans

I am not a veteran addict but from what I understand from non pmo addictions at least is that you never forget about it. You are always an addict you are just in recovery. You have to make a conscious effort every day not to use again. When you forget you risk relapse. You need to avoid your triggers etc for life. You are very early on in your recovery so it does get easier but you won't forget you should not forget.

 

It's a just phase. Yes, it will dominate most of your thoughts for a period of time, but eventually it will pass.

When I first started, it was just Semen Retention. It dominated my thought patterns for a month in a half. Times where i'd normally look up porn, I would just obsessively research Semen Retention (i'm obsessed with learning anyways). This went on until it evolved into Nofap. For five months, this went on. I kept watching Gary Wilson's podcasts. Kept researching all Nofap related information, kept reminding myself I had an addiction. But, it ended sometime in May. The hype lost it's influence over me. Now, it is what it is.

I no longer think about porn or the concept of Nofap. Even this site serves as "social media" for me. Plus, I like to help where I can.

 

That is good you've been PornFree for four years. You truly are a "veteran". I am envious. It's been half a year for me, and it's already out my system. I'm a relatively rare case I suppose.

 

I think some addicts struggle more than others in recovery and part of that could be due to just the fact that everyone is different. For example I don't have anxiety or worry much about much it's he not how my brain is. My best friend worries about whether the sky is falling not literally but close to it. A good friend of mine smoked for 30 years has been clean for for 10 and told me he still thinks about smoking everyday of his life and when he sees someone smoking he wants to grab them and suck the smoke out of their mouths! Other friends who quit don't hardly ever think about it. Just follow the mantra one day at a time. Today I am not going to fap. Try not to worry about whether you will give in tomorrow or next month or next year . That tends to be too daunting and overwhelming.

 

Personally i'll never forget the pain of addiction, i was a substance abuser as well as a porn user but I wouldn't trade my worst days today for the best days i had using drugs and porn. I feel I have got to a point after 2.5 years where i've grown out of it, almost matured into a better version of myself but i'm also mindful of the fact I simply can't use mind altering substances (including porn) like other non compulsive or addictive people, it's far too dangerous. I am an addictive personality I don't just have 'one' of something, rareley does a pack of biscuits, bag of sweets last more than a day in my house! I've come to accept that is a trait of mine, and acceptance is part of the deal for dealing with addiction. I still have using dreams occasionally, they feel quite real sometimes and terrifying and it can take a good 10 minutes once i've woken up to get my head together, then i'm grateful for staying sober.

 

I'm assuming when you say 'old pictures' that is your stash you are holding on to? you are setting yourself up to fail if you keep your stuff...if you want to quit why would you need it? that's like a cocaine addict keeping a gram of coke in his sock drawer 'just incase' but at the same time swearing off drugs, i know it's difficult to let go but it's the best thing you can do

 

Absolutely disagree.

I haven't had any huge, long streaks ... but I am very, very involved in the SAA community in my city, and I know dozens of men with multiple years of sobriety. They all say the same thing: the minute you think you've got this addiction conquered is the minute it sneaks up and kicks your ass. The 'old timers' have a saying ... "you may have traveled hundreds of miles down the highway of recovery, but you're never more than a couple feet from the ditch."

Does it get easier? Yes. There will come a point where abstaining from compulsive PMO won't seem like a constant, brutal struggle. But I don't think any recovering addict in a truly healthy state ever "forgets" about his addiction. In fact, I'd say that recognizing and remembering your addiction is a huge part of moving on with your life.

 

I did a 365 days reboot from april '16 till april '17. My take on it is that once you get further in your streak, you start to think less and less about porn and masturbation. After day 150 I rarely had urges, and if I did have them, they were very easy to handle. In addition, I stopped visiting this site or looking up things that were nofap-related. Nofap just became a way of life

 

It is a difficult addiction to beat, but definitely not impossible. You will always have to be a bit on watch to avoid relapse, but it definitely gets easier to avoid relapse. I relapsed on purpose in April, not because of urges, but to observe whether nofap really made a big difference in my life and i've come to the conclusion that life is just better without pmo'ing.

 

Yes, you have to have the ideal recovery in your mind of becoming an 'ex-addict'. But you need to believe you are capable of transforming your nature for this to be possible. The problem is 'addiction' by its definition means you are compelled to do something. It's only with the idea of developing your rational nature/ desire to the point where it can overcome your compulsion/ addiction that you could really consider yourself fully recovered.

 

You've got to the crux of the matter. Anxiety more often than not causes people to relapse. So really, recovery has to be about getting your mind off 'to fap or not to fap' altogether. This is why the 'off topic' threads are the best ones here. You are distracting yourself in the reading of philosophy, politics, theology... whatever.

 

Yes, you need to over-come it to the point that P-sub images, which are everywhere, have next to no affect on you. It's building a resiliency to it, rather than trying to repress or avoid it.

 

It's interesting how when the urge becomes weaker, the mind steps up to the plate... 'oh, I can get away with that just a little... I will then prove who is boss.' One needs to submit the mind's absolute freedom to some 'categorical imperative'.

 

It's not whether or not a veteran thinks about Porn, we will. It's in our culture, everywhere. The real question to ask, when reminded of Porn is "what do you think ABOUT it?" I quit cigarettes and am now a non-smoker for many years. I get triggered by someone who is smoking. I don't want one, ever. Why? Because I remind myself what the drug, Nicotine, will do to me. That there is no such thing as having one cigarette. One leads to a whole pack. Every time. My lungs have healed and shall remain so. I will never go back.

Same can be said about PMO. I'm triggered. I remind myself why I quit. How the girls are horribly treated and abused. What the added Dopamine will do to my brain. That there is no such thing as just peeking at Porn. One peek always leads to a relapse. My mind has healed and rewired. I will never go back.