Blowjob on day 30. I feel horrible.

yep, i just made a thread saying basically the same thing. the effect of sex/blowjob/handjob/whatever is no different than the effect of a fap from my experience, which makes this all the more depressing. it's the orgasm, the ejaculation, that brings us down.

 

i don't know, man. i'm sure some people will mention supplementing with zinc, and others will mention getting testosterone checked. i take zinc almost daily, and my testosterone is normal(at least it was a year ago), so i don't think it's that in my case. maybe it's something else we're not getting enough of.

 

Lucky y

You should be happy atleast you had some real fun. not that shitty orgasm of porn. And its alright. Never give up mate.

 

yes, I do feel rotten, I like hugging and talking, but sex, I will not enjoy it. I am not gay, I will not enjoy sex with a man either. just to be clear .

 

if your not married, sex is not the best way to connect.

 

hmm.. i had my thyroid tested about a week ago, and the results came back 3.8 tsh which is technically in the "normal" lab range, but after doing further research, i'm finding out that it's way too high, as recent findings show anything about 3.0 is hypo. it could be thyroid giving us these effects. did the thyroid meds improve your libido/recovery/erections(if they needed to improve) at all? what about the supplements? doesn't seem to have helped too much since you just made this thread.

 

There is a site that might help
It is the site by a guy nate liason
:
I found it by googling orgasm without ejaculation

 

Right, so I may not have any experience in this field at all but from what I've learnt : Sex with any random girl be it a date or a hooker or anyone won't work. The happiness obtained from sex is barely due to the orgasm but rather due to the emotional connection and the affection felt for one another. That's what makes it bliss. So what I would suggest is wait until you actually like the girl and feel that she's potentially the one or rather you even establish an emotional connection with her rather than it being a fling and plus, 30 days isn't enough. I'd recommend that you stay on 'hardmode' for 90-days and don't let her give you an orgasm at least yet. If you wanna indulge in sex in any way, please her and make her day rather than yours, that helps your recovery process too I believe. Cheers, lemme know I helped.

 

I become extremely depressed and miserable when I give myself an orgasm, once I'm rebooted and having normal sex again I'm not going to be depressed because I just had sex with a woman. It completely depends on how you got the orgasm, I have no clue why you're feeling bad. In my opinion you should be feeling great.

 

eh... i've had sex with girls i like, emotional connection and all, it makes no difference. the fact that it came from sex made it no difference than fap, the after effects are the same.

 

My take on your question of "Why the majority of the male population can have normal sex without feeling horrible afterwards" is down to how you think/behave/belief and interpret different situations. Think about it, this website contains so many posts about how after orgasms and masturbation, anxiety/depression sets in etc etc. So, you read about them all on this site, and then you tell yourself "If i orgasm/masturbate, I am going to feel shit, fall down a spiral of depression" You then reinforce this to yourself and it solidifies on a sub conscious level. So what happens when you do wank ? Your going to feel like shit and be sad and depressed. You've reinforced it so much, you believe it, and thats how you feel. Im sure you have heard that saying, "Weather you believe you can, or you cant, your probably right"

Also if our state of being is generally that of being depressed/anxious and unhappy, it is near impossible to not feel like shit after an orgasm, my behaviour in this state of mind is never rational/logic and is pessimistic/negative. Until recently, i started meditating and practicing gratitude, forgiveness, compassion and creative visualisation. My happiness has developed hugely and i am finally accepting myself for who i am without looking for validation and approval off of others.

I truly believe if you develop happiness, nothing can touch you or affect you. I have gone down the path of feeling sad/negative after orgasms in the past, however, recently i have relapsed and it didn't effect me in that negative way anymore! I hope this post helps in some way

 

it's not about feeling negative, or depressed because of the sex/fap(at least in my case, and OP sounds the same way), it's about feeling more physically, and mentally depleted after it. that in turn causes the negativity/depression, it's not the other way around.

 

Maybe you associated orgasm with feeling horrible and depressed. PMO can do that to you.
My advice is finish your reboot, then see what happens.

 

100% agreement here. Fulfillment in sex comes from the emotional bond between partners, not from the physical passion. I've had a lot of casual sex, I'm sorry to say, and each time I felt exactly like the OP described. But I never had those bad feelings when I was in a real relationship with someone I loved and who loved me.