Stamina: The lies that porn tells men

I am female a SO of a man with DE. Reading through the threads here I am utterly amazed at the men who not only are overly obsessed with how long they last in bed, but have a totally warped perception of what women want, how long other men last, and what constitutes PE. Many even started using porn to make sure they could last longer.
Guess what? The average time from penetration to orgasm for men is 3-7 minutes. That's right. Sexual performance studies show that women estimate foreplay to last about 11 minutes and penetration 5 minutes. Women responded that they would like foreplay to last around 19 minutes and sex to last 10 minutes. 10 minutes! Doctors are seeing increases in men coming to say they have PE because they can't have penetrative sex for a half an hour ! http://www.prematurex.com/blog/long-women-want-sex-last
A time frame that is considered premature by experts is within 1 minute or less of penetration or prior to penetration. https://www.andrologyaustralia.org/premature-ejaculation/

As I think this thread establishes porn creates false expectations about what good sex is. One of those is that women expect to be pounded for an hour or more. Most real life women are in pain and bored after 15 minutes of penetration. At half an hour we are making a list of chores to do. At 45 minutes we start to wonder if we are going to the hospital from the pain. At 55 minutes we start to count ceiling tiles and wish we had left the TV on, wait maybe I can grab my iPad. And at an hour we wonder what's wrong with us that he can't orgasm. We feel inadequate, in pain, and less than. Next time the man approaches us for sex we turn it down. Why cause we don't have an hour and we would like to walk tommorow.

Look please excuse my humor. But while some women may like hour long sex sessions most don't. Some may enjoy them on occasion but not all the time. When you are married with kids, or in a long term relationship there is no time for this! The studies show you can increase your foreplay that women would prefer that. So please do.

So stop letting porn tell you this lie. Stop letting it make you feel like less of a man for lasting the same amount of time every other guy is they are just lying. The link below is a great funny list of what women think when a man takes too long. They are funny but true.

https://thoughtcatalog.com/jessica-...strations-about-men-who-take-too-long-to-cum/

 

Yes it does not have to be death grip or some unusual form of MO. It's the addiction to the dopamine caused by the porn and some opine the releasing of the hormone oxytocin which conditions you to only orgasm and bond to porn rather than a partner. I recommend you google your brain on porn. I think many men also have death grip syndrome or are masturbating in a way that can't be replicated by a partner which gives them a double whammy but it's rare that death grip is the only issue. The reality is very few men MO without porn so they are intertwined. You will read stories of men on here that have a PMO addiction only and some that have both but it's rare to find just death grip. I am of the opinion that there are many people who can watch porn with no consequences at least not in bed just like everyone who drinks is not an alcoholic. Many here disagree with that. But if porn is already causing issues for you you are not among them.

 

I agree with you. Anziz Ansari a comedian wrote a book about dating. In that he said he conducted an experiment where he asked people in their 20s and 30s to come to a meeting but they had to bring at least one parent. He put the parents in one room and the kids in another. 20 minutes later he entered the room with the parents and it was quite loud. They were all talking, getting to know each othe and many had exchanged numbers. Then he went into the room with kids and it was dead silent with everyone buried in their phones. At 40 years old I am sort of in the middle. I recall a time where your cell phone was huge and only used in emergencies or to make calls after 9:00 pm, when people talked to their neighbors and you met a man at the grocery store and he was only interested in dating you . I've also online dated in the new dating age and wow! It's a very cruel world. And if you say hello to a stranger they turn away. I also supervise people in the under 30 age range and most of them have NO social skills. We played as kids outside they stare at a screen. It makes total sense why young men cant approach women! They never went to that church dance or skating party and talked to girls. And they think all women look and act like they do in porn. If you believe that of course you would be intimidated. Also since porn dehumanizes women it makes men believe we are total different beings instead of realizing that we are so similar to them with all the same insecurities so just talk to us ! one thing I noticed when I was on online dating was every dude on there thought they deserved and could achieve a perfect 10 no matter their own looks. They wanted women they saw on porn or TV and would not settle for less. So they ended up angry and lonely. God forbid the woman was a B cup or had short hair. These men would never approach perfect 10 in person but online they overlooked 100s of potential mates in favor or achieving the 10 and in the process dove deeper into a fantasy world that would never come to fruition. I often tell the story of my partner who grew up in Africa and came to the US 20 years ago. What little tv he saw was American sitcoms. Where all the women were hot and even the guy with a huge pot belly got a hot girl. People working in coffee shops could afford posh NYC apartments and everyone drove a luxury car. Imagine his surprise and disappointment when he got here? And he's still bitter about it. My point of that story is often we don't realize how much the things we take in shape who we are. Tv, internet, porn. The younger we are exposed the more suceptible we are to being effected. For example a man who has never seen porn and had a normal sex life until age 50 already knows that's not what sex is or women are And would question it. A child or even a young adult with very little experience in real life would not. Totally a bit off topic .

 

I think men like to chest puff with each other. Oh hey last night I went for hours. Meanwhile his partner is telling her girlfriends how horrible the sex was!