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Post published by Mindy

Question for the guys:

When a guy says he can’t control urges or that there is no other way to get rid of well, a boner, except to M.... is that a lie? Or is there truth to that? I want to help someone with their urges but he keeps saying “You don’t understand and never will because Youre not a guy”. I want to be mor e informed and understanding on how I can help this guy and also all y’all here too. Maybe I really don’t understand but I am pretty sure there are other ways to “relieve” yourself without breaking commandments... help!
Mindy more_vert
Mindy
This has been insightful. I shouldn’t get involved if i can tell the guy is wanting to use me as a way to satisfy him. But I can still offer support and be empathetic as much as I can...
Mindy more_vert
Mindy
It’s up to him to make his own choices on how he is going to handle it. Would that be an appropriate response, men?
Don Gately likes this.
hope4travis more_vert
hope4travis
You haven’t shared the details of your relationship, so trying to assess his motive is conjecture and speculation IMO.
hope4travis more_vert
hope4travis
I would not call it a lie. A lie is something that involves an intent to knowingly deceive. There is even a large body public opinion that says exactly what he says, so to him it may seem very credible.
Don Gately likes this.
hope4travis more_vert
hope4travis
I do know from past experience, that arousal can be difficult to just turn off and put on a shelf. If someone has never had success passing through that, then it would be like the person with fear of water who says “I’ll never swim.”
Don Gately and Mindy like this.
hope4travis more_vert
hope4travis
Even today, after 900+ days PMO free, if things start, even casual verbal foreplay during the day, and then get called off, I’ll stay up at least an extra hour that evening. It’s just the way it is.
vxlccm and Mindy like this.
Don Gately more_vert
Don Gately
Yep! I think that’s a great response. His body is pretty much his business, especially in that regard.
Mindy likes this.
tweeby more_vert
tweeby
The best thing to do would be to cut this guy off. But of course I know why you keep him in the loop, although I'm unsure anyone else knows.
Stardweller1 more_vert
Stardweller1
I can believe he believes it because I've been there. But I can also tell you he's wrong because eventually I began successfully resisting even moment of incredibly strong temptation.
vxlccm, Mindy and hope4travis like this.
Stardweller1 more_vert
Stardweller1
As for the part about you not being able to understand, I can only speak to a guy's perspective, but I've known enough women who've experienced lust to say that I don't think you need to be a guy to experience (or understand) this problem.
Mindy likes this.
Phantom Avalanche more_vert
Phantom Avalanche
Ok, I'm going to answer your question in segments as there is a character limit. I'm a medical student so the science part of this is what I study all day.
Phantom Avalanche more_vert
Phantom Avalanche
1. Can you control your erection? Erections are connected to blood flow and mental arousal (think subconscious and otherwise). To control that is like trying to control your own heart rate when a gorgeous individual walks by.
Phantom Avalanche more_vert
Phantom Avalanche
2. Does a guy have to masturbate to get rid of erections? Absolutely not! Like that cute person walking by, if you just calm down and distract yourself, it will go away eventually.
vxlccm likes this.
Phantom Avalanche more_vert
Phantom Avalanche
3. [Infering now sex drive to Q#2] Absolutely not! The body runs on natural rhythms - sleep/alert, hunger, etc. Urges come and go in natural body rhythms. You may feel like you'll explode, but don't worry - "this too shall pass."
Phantom Avalanche more_vert
Phantom Avalanche
Prayer, meditation and scripture study are wonderful blessings that can help you through the hormonal waves and storms that we all go through in various intensities. If you wait it out, the tension goes away on its own.
Phantom Avalanche more_vert
Phantom Avalanche
A common mental technique is called "urge surfing," where essentially you acknowledge the sensation and calmly watch it come, then leave. All of this is pretty applicable to both sexes. I hope this helps!
hope4travis likes this.
Mindy more_vert
Mindy
@Phantom Avalanche that makes sense to me. If I were to share that w him though, I don’t think it’d be received well unfortunately.
Mindy more_vert
Mindy
He’s maybe not at a place where he’s ready to make big changes. Little by little he will learn and get there. But it’s good for me to know M is not a necessity.
Phantom Avalanche more_vert
Phantom Avalanche
One of the big lies that Satan has is that 1. Your body is evil, and the sensations you have are evil, and 2. you cannot resist. Know that God gave you these things, and you can ultimately choose how to use them appropriately.
Mindy likes this.
Phantom Avalanche more_vert
Phantom Avalanche
As for your friend, I think everyone else on this post has nailed down a good picture of what's going on
Mindy likes this.