Post published by DomHope

I am not seeking professional help my depression because of lack of money but I have an self-induced therapy which is walking in natur and being a bit with friends also and laugh.

I am surely not effeminated by choice, it is my way of talking, my gestures, all about me that is like this, I think even my way of reasonning and I never knew how to change that because it is in me sinbce I can remember life ...

I don't think we can say that I am active but I had homosexual intercourse even though I never was penetrated but penetrated a guy once ... I am like this, gay and loving girly things and everything since I can remember life ... And I am surely not enjoying it, I didn't even choose it, I am like this since I can remember life I guess and never had the choice to get out of it so no, I am not enjoying it ...

Yes you are right and that is why I always try to tell myself, that God will never give a battle He know I can't fight but the problem is I don't know how to fight and how to chance things, I have the impression that everytime I try something to change my life, I relapse in it 10000000x more and in a worsed way than before.

I am fighting all that what you said, yes

Ok, so firstly if that is a real picture of you, you dont seem effeminate. Now if you had on makeup and all that then I would agree. I do not believe God makes anyone gay, but because we have a sinful nature that affects our physical bodies, it can manifest in everything from homosexuality to alcoholism.

Here is what is awesome. The Devil, those demons, cant force you to do any of that. They can only offer you a choice that is why it's called temptation, because you will always have the option to walk away from it.

Yes I am, beig effeminatz doesn't only mean to put girls stuff on ourselves but does mean how you act, how you speak, how you move etc ...

Sure I have the option to walk away from it, but I don't have the option to me manly, masculine and heterosexual as boys should be ...

What is your definition of a masculine heterosexual man?

God created you with a penis therefore, genetically, physically you are a man. Therefore your intentions should be towards a woman not a fellow man. This is how it should be, how it is deep inside you, unfortunately it's been covered up by something.

If it was how you were actually created, you wouldn't be here. Unless you are troll and here just for attention.

That is the second time that you think that I am here just to get attention but that is totally false, it is absolutely wrong, I am here because I see that you are all people who pray and help others, that's why i am here ...

Yes I am a man, that is clear and yes my heterosexuality has been covered by something really strong ... to me, a masculine man is someone who acts like a man, someone that you see and can tell he's a man even without knowing his sex exactly

I don't need attention if that's what you meant this two times, I need help and beg someone to help me, that is all ...

Ok. I was just checking your honesty. My advice is this 1) you KNOW that what you are doing and the way you are living is wrong, so leave it behind you 2) start trying out things to discover and developed the man within you: lift weights, try out sports, get out in nature. There are tons of positive manly things out there that dont revolve around sex and pornigraphy. Stop saying you cannot and start doing. If you are going through hell, keep on going.

3) You need to get you a positive, spiritual role model. A priest, a pastor, a Male mentor. From what I have gathered, you seem to have come from a Female dominated household? So I think that this is where the covering up of your hetero has come from.

4) Realize that just because you are HOMOEMOTIONAL does not mean you are homosexual. We as young men crave the adulation and encouragement and brotherhood that can only come from an older Male who has earned his way into the pack. It is what encourages us to become active , forceful, dominant men in society. It encourages us to earn our spot.

5) I imagine that growing up, you also related to girls better and seemed to understand and get them better than guys. This may also have contributed to your hetero being covered up. Also take heart that just because you understand women better than men does not make you homosexual, it actually makes you more compatible for a woman because you can understand them better. Women are confusing creatures. It gives those of us who relate better to females an edge I think.

6) I dont think that your liking girl things is as bad as many think. I like jewelry, rings, bracelets, necklaces. I take care to make sure that I smell good. I am make sure my beard is cleaned . I like blue jeans and nice pair of cowboy boots. I like looking good. I talk with my hands. It is how I Express myself. I dont have the deepest voice in the world but whatever.