Post published by Freeman82

Nearly at 70 days - that is 10 (TEN!) weeks. Then 90 days will finally come into my sights. Previous longest streak was 34 days so this is big for me. I haven't had an urge to watch porn for a while now which is amazing. Occasional edging, especially after social events with good looking women. Brain fog clearing slowly. In the forums I often post about how exercise, cold showers, good thought patterns, daily checking in to nofap forum have helped me. I also want to say something about a spiritual practice that I use.

I have taken a lot of inspiration from the 12 steps addiction recovery programme pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous. It is based on Christian principles. I asked a recovering alcoholic and drug user to bring me through the 12 steps book so that I could apply it to my pmo addiction. It is easily one of the most amazing books I have every read. It clicked for me when I realised that the reason I have never kicked this habit fully is because by myself I just can't. In fact, I was so addicted that I never should have expected myself to be able to give it up. Every relapse was just more evidence of the limitation of my own will power and my lack of freedom.

This spiritual practice still uses the will, not to assert or impose it but to surrender it. When I feel temptation at night time I speak to God and say "I can't do this so I'm not even going to try. I am letting go of the reins and I receive all I need from you." And I just rest in that state of surrender/non-effort/non-struggling/radical openness to the divine. This is so restful that I generally fall asleep soon after and next thing I know it's morning.