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Post published by The Wrestler

I have a series of questions about intimacy with my girlfriend I am hoping some relationship veterans can help me with.

The questions are not PG, so if you are just starting out in your nofap journey, STOP READING HERE. You're doing great being on this site, don't ruin it now.

Again, my questions are around levels of physical intimacy with my girlfriend, and someone is going to reply "just don't," and I have a problem with that for two reasons. First, why "just don't?" What are the thoughts, logic, or experience that provoke you to non-action? What makes it a valid option or consideration? And second, I don't think "just don't" is a practical option for the vast majority of the population.

Recently, I have been trying to shift my internal dialogue from "where do I draw the line?" to "does this draw me closer to my girlfriend and to God?" I have made this shift because the former is essentially asking "what can I get away with?" - an unproductive and potentially dangerous mindset - and the latter is much more constructive.

So here lies the questioning: what draws me closer to my girlfriend and to God? When talking about physical intimacy, what can I do - what can we do - that is not destructive to our relationship. Because we want to run our hands all over each other, we want me to touch her breasts, she wants to masturbate me and be masturbated by me, and I her. But does this bring us closer, or drive us apart?
adept and Shin Iu like this.
Bnnybnny more_vert
Bnnybnny
Brother, I really sympathise. "Just don't" is sound advice though - the reason being that you are playing with fire. It is very easy to get carried away.
Boyersr and Greyborne like this.
Bnnybnny more_vert
Bnnybnny
If you believe that God intended sex for marriage, it's very dangerous to walk too close to that line with someone who is not your wife.
Boyersr and Greyborne like this.
Caped Crusader more_vert
Caped Crusader
Agreed. When I was engaged to my wife, I had to have a talk with her because she didn't realize the effect that snuggling and kissing had on me.
Bnnybnny and Greyborne like this.
Caped Crusader more_vert
Caped Crusader
We were both getting a bit too frisky with one another and I finally drew the line. After that, we only held hands and gave one another a light kiss when we left one another.
Bnnybnny and Greyborne like this.