Post published by Victor1999

Hi everyone, it's been awhile since i wrote here. I want to salute everyone, and congratulate to all of you ho have achieved some goals and to encourage those ho haven't to not give up and to keep on fighting for a better life.
As some of you may read in my posts before, you know that im addicted to sP. For those who haven't read it, tough breakup destroyed me mentally and i gain comfort in cuckold, sissy, femdom and later on homosexual porn.
I thought NOFAP was not such a good idea, to give up porn and masturbation completely, and i thought that was not the way. So i went on a different journey, tried to resolve issues through mediation, traning and such. Did not work very well.
How do i describe it? Every time, i get depressed, dissapointed or mad at something i have a need to go on a cam with some guy who treats me like a sissy, or watch sP, or do something similllar. It happens also when im drunk or high on drugs. Conclusion is that i do it when i am weak and woundarable. It's like any addiction, and i need to treat it in that way. I don't feel arroused anymore then i do it, i feel like there is somebody else doing it, and me watching and thinking WTF are you doing?
My next step is completely giving up pornography and masturbation. Being without PM as we say in community. I will try 90 days. Until summer that is. What i need is friends with simmilar issues and experiences to contact me, i had one friend that i talked to about these issues but it came wrong, she started to like it and it got sexual, don't want to go into details. So know i need you guys in my inbox, every person that has simmilar issues and wants to talk. Message me and we will talk on facebook. After 90 days i will hopefully get to know myself and discover if i destroyed my brain with porn, do i like this stuff because of some trauma or something or am i trully bisexual man that has a sissy fetish (hopefully not)
Much love from Europe