Post published by hope4travis

Brethren (and Sisters?), as you go through life today and have those tiny micro prayers that constitute the prayers of our hearts...

Imagine a brother who serves in a bishopric. He loves and looks up to his bishop. He feels good about his status as a recovering PMO addict. He’s confident as a penitent man that his path is square with the Lord. He’s confessed his sins before the Lord in private in the past as well as met with his former bishop and confessed all. Though he regrets the sins along the path, he’s in a weird way grateful for the lessons about life and people and himself that he’s learned along the way. He cherishes them in fact, the journey has made him a far better person. In two recent bishopric training meetings, the issue of pornography has come up. Both times, the experience has left this man confused. He feels like he’s on a good path and in a good place. He’s not ashamed to attend the temple. But the comments seem naive and inconsistent. He finds himself feeling like he doesn’t really belong in the room. That his peers would shun and shame him. He worries that other men and women of the church will continue to struggle in shamed silence because of this. He knows that pornographry is not the real root problem (see @Tannhauser ’s excellent comments below), it’s just a very volatile accelerant, like loose cans of gasoline at a fire scene. The inner turmoil causes him to second guess himself. Perhaps his repentance is not complete? And who is he to judge? He does not hold these keys. And he wants to support and sustain those that do. He’d rather not create any sort of controversy. He’s seen too often how emotions like this can be seeds of contention and apostasy. His good bishop rightfully wants to heed the encouragement of counsel and increase efforts to educate and help members of his ward. The counselor finds himself very conflicted. After four years of this journey, lots of study, his eyes opened by reading the varied and diverse accounts of others, he might have some experience to offer. But again, the current environment makes him very uncomfortable. Why is the last place he can find peace with this process amongst fellow saints? So... while the man believes that when the Lord forgets he forgets, and that when we repent and confess a sin, we need bring it up no more... he has chosen nevertheless to take his good bishop for a walk. To make this bishop aware of the same past, so that he can have permission to remain silent on the issue, or be able to share and help at least with the bishops efforts. He’s decided that he’s willing to offer to let the bishop share his name with others as a confidential AP, if it would help them, even though others in his ward might then know, and that could dent not only his social standing but that of his family members amongst ward members.

Anyway, as you imagine that brother even briefly, send a little micro hope his way.