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Post published by thatsingleindividual#K-13
I think porn is one thing, masturbation is another, despite the notion that they are both complimentary, going hand-in-hand. I think at times I have a harder time with masturbation, because it's the one thing at this point that I cannot imagine my life being without. I know the church says it's a sin, especially if done deliberately. Well, there have been times where I've done it deliberately, such as today, and to me it is so self-degrading and to the Lord as well when I say and pray things that I will stop, that I don't need it, and in fact, my life will go better without it. I need help with this because it's the one thing that makes me a hypocrite. It's such a short fix and I do not like it. I want to stop.
The number one thing is, I want to be faithful to the church. I do not want to be "double-minded", that is my main concern. I don't want to recall the vows I took with nonchalance, deciding to go jerk-off in the bathroom, as if it is of no personal consequence. I want to quit and put it behind me, once and for all. I do not need this.
DearWatson and RockTheHill like this.
more_vert
miXhal
That´s what could have prevented me from falling so deep into it - accurate distinction. When I was starting with masturbation (somewhere around 13 years old), I was unsure whether it was alright to continue with it, because I read that it wasn´t right somewhere. But then, society made me think that it was good (things like it prevents prostate cancer and so on), so I was torn. I attended over-weekend trip with other catholic kids, we were sleeping in one monastery and got the opportunity to ask brothers whatever we wanted, anonymously.
more_vert
miXhal
As I was struggling with this issue, I saw it as an opportunity to finally get an answer, so I wrote my question: "Is masturbation sin?"
Other kids asked questions like "What is the password for Wi-Fi?" or "Do animals go to heaven?" and similar, I can´t recall anything that deep as my question.
more_vert
miXhal
I put my question among others and waited, still a bit nervous. Then, its turn came. One of brothers opened and read it. He started with "I´d like to say straight up that it is a sin, but..." and then started explaining situations where it is acceptable (if I recall correctly, it was when it is in marriage for the purpose of pleasing your significant one or something like that). And this BUT confused me even more.
more_vert
miXhal
I was 13, I didn´t understand his explanation and didn´t get clear answer that I needed. I am not blaming him, I see now that I laid that question vaguely, because what I really wanted to ask was that whether masturbation to porn was a sin. And naturally, because masturbation was pleasant, I decided that it is not a sin for me. It is not hurting anybody else, neither me (oh man, how very wrong were I at this point), so it cannot be a sin, right? So I smothered my doubts and happily carried on masturbation. What is interesting, though, is that I always felt that it wasn´t good and confessed it (with another word, but meant this as well).
more_vert
miXhal
As I was struggling with this issue, I saw it as an opportunity to finally get an answer, so I wrote my question: "Is
Now, I managed to break free, finally. And I see, what did this monk mean here. Masturbation might not be wrong if done without lustful thoughts, porn and for some good purpose. Porn is always. However I don´t tthink that there is anyone who can actually masturbate under these conditions. I couldn´t. So I chose safer way - abstaining from all of that. No masturbation whatsoever. Your body does not need it, your soul certainly does not need it. And it´s too risky, in majority (if not all) of cases, it´s just wrong.
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more_vert
RockTheHill
I'm in a similar boat. Growing up with my mother and sister I never felt comfortable using outright porn, but I found substitutes (googling models, actresses etc.). Lust is the enemy. The trick is to separate lust from legitimate desire.