Post published by EyesfortheHoly

Man, quitting this crap has been a major struggle, without a doubt the greatest struggle I have ever faced. I have promised God and myself probably over a thousand times that this time would be my last time and I feel great regarding my future and this struggle for about 24 hours and then this impure and disgusting desire seizes me and I become almost paralyzed with the desire to indulge in pornography. This is a literal seizing like I cant control myself and then I tell myself to just give in with the hope that I will be able to say no the next time. This cycle just continues as the years go by. One of my greatest fears is facing Jesus when I die realizing that multitudes of Christians throughout history faced life and death situations on a regular bases and overcame but I was downed by sexual perversion and could not resist. Pathetic! I see only one possible way. Complete surrender. God help me!