Post published by SAL_VI

You just described me and my life. I too struggle with the social bit at the end of church. I've been going to same church now for almost 30 years, but feel I Know people less today than years ago. Being introverted, I hate small talk. Maybe that's why I went into mental health work all those years ago. Give me someone who doesn't fit social norms and I'm fine...

...get me to speak light conversation with a confident, successful 'important' person, and I feel edgy, nervous, and defensive (father issues!).

This is just like PMO. It is always a lie. These feelings of inadequacy and rejection are a lie. Run those through the Spirit's truth filter and replace the lies with the Truth of who you are in Christ. You belong to him! You are embraced by him!

Then listen to the Spirit. How is he leading you? Does he have other plans for what community might look like for you? Maybe you can bring his light and warmth to members of an older generation somehow? Who knows what he might have in store for you? Ask, listen, and obey. This is how the grand adventure of life in Christ begins!

I think older people are generally less threatening, which is why I too can relate to them better. Will pray for you. Well done with the small groups thing. You have probably heard this a hundred times, but with anxiety, the only way out is through. Do the thing that scares you and keep doing it. What you avoid only becomes scarier.

Thanks Tao. You are dead right. It's all lies. I need to pray every day that what I can see in my head I can feel in my heart. That I can talk to myself instead of listening to myself.

@70*7 Or just ignore yourself and listen to the Spirit! His voice is the one we really need to be tuned into, all day, every day. His words will never lie and they will always bring you life.

Stay strong brother we all have been there.but only those that chose to fall and stay there is defeated but those that fall and rise every time are winners.just by sharing your story brother and being honest with yourself and others you have chosen the winners path.

Thank you guys so much. @Tao Jones I think you mean being a light to the young generation as that is the most challenging one to me. Either way, being light to all ppl of all ages! But you know what? I realize that ultimately, I’m responsible for my actions. Was I a light? Or did I keep it away?

First, there are many who feel the same in traditional church. The church's current business model (called a worship model) does not do a good job of integrating those who do not fit the cookie-cutter mold. Whether that is your church or not, I cannot say, nor does that mean this new small group will be like that. My suggestion? Tell them about your struggles, right from the start. If that's hard, tell them that too. If they go the extra mile, you know you've found the right one. If not, you won't waste further time...

@70*7 thanks for sharing. I always find it encouraging to hear of someone who can relate. So easy to think this is exclusive to you. And yes, the best way to deal with it is face it head on, knowing God is with us, in us, and goes before us!!

@Rings God bless you. Thank you for those encouraging words. Much needed!

I believe that it’s important to grow in our people skills! Intersections aren’t as easy as it looks. Would appreciate biblical insight as well as any books on the topic. Thank you

I mean interactions, not intersections. Sorry

Second, I hear hints of personality. What many don't recognize is that our reactions to social situations are not weaknesses but simply who we are, a combination of traits found in a percentage of others in the population, one that doesn't fit well with the dominant social norms (introversion is an example, is not peculiar to you, and is not a crime!). Personalities are grouped on a wheel, with each person tending towards a particular slice. Our society caters to one specific section of the pie, ignoring the rest...