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Post published by Timeforachange!!!

Hey everyone. I haven’t posted here for a while but I have some stuff I’ve been going through and coming to understand which may be helpful. I realized that a lot of my feelings of shame surrounding SP came from fears of being gay or liking men, however it took conversations with a therapist and some journaling to really understand that I like men and women, and that that is ok. I think a lot of these thoughts of are you straight or gay kind of limit you into select categories which make thoughts of liking more than one gender kind of scary and confusing. You can be attracted to girls but also still have fantasies about men and that’s okay. Or you can just be interested in being submissive to either gender or to just one and dominant to another or whatever, everyone’s sexuality and preferences is on that spectrum. I believe SP is targeted to make the thoughts on the homosexual side of the spectrum feel wrong or like you are a loser or bitch for thinking that way so you must become a girl since only girls can be with men. It is a fucked up system of P created by some people who I believe are not only homophobic but may even be somewhat sadistic. I think if you want to dress up as a girl and fuck guys, go for it there’s nothing wrong with that. But don’t do it out of shame and out of negative emotions that come from SP. Now you may naturally be wondering if the thoughts you are having are natural or caused by SP, and I think it can be helpful to trace how you arrived to the point you are at now. For me, for example, my development was from vanilla porn/lesbian to gay to BDSM to cross dressing and then to SP. I found that this progression made sense as I found that I enjoyed submission early on in the process of porn use and developed a fetish for cross dressing which I did enjoy and found sexually arousing. I believe that my internalized homophobia as to who I was manifested with this fetish to lead to my shame of my bisexuality and to the usage of SP which hurt my already low self esteem and created a situation where I would not only cause self harm to my esteem but subconsciously repressed my desires under the guise that it was forced. I personally have found that, after having sex with women, dominatrixes, and men, that I find all of these types of sex exciting and stimulating for different reasons. You can feel turned on by many different things and just because they may seem to clash or contradict one another does not make them wrong to be feeling. I have personally come to this conclusion after dating my girlfriend of one year, and it really did feel good to be able to lift this weight off of my shoulders. However, today I felt a new one put upon it when I realized everything I had done before and during our relationship in regards to SP and fulfilling this fetish. I had always had the two separated, my real self and my ‘porn self’. When I would watch P or get into the SP mode, I crossdressed, fuck many different objects, enter into a bimbo sissy mindset, and even use Omegle on several occasions while watching P and performing sissy acts while under the mindset of this being a different me who was doing these things in almost an out of body experience. And just like many of you, once I climaxed, it all came crashing down and the shame kicked in. I guess it is a good thing that I am experiencing this kind of regret, though, as I believe that this is honestly the kind of awakening I need to quite this stuff for good. To be clear, I do mean to quit SP and engaging in this fetish online as I do plan to come clean about these desires and what I have done as I think I need to clear my own conscience and clear the slate from this point of my life. I am going into day four no P and will be meeting with my therapist this Wednesday. I guess this has gone on for a bit longer than I was expecting, however I had a lot to get off my chest and I hope that this has helped some of you out there. I can’t offer the answer to exactly where you fall on the spectrum as that is up to you, but when you stop trying to deny certain parts of yourself and desires as being wrong and truly look into your feelings, the answer honestly does become much easier to find. I first began trying NoFap about 2 years ago. I came back after I developed issues climaxing and began the 90 day hard mode challenge just for that and no real other reason. I believe that my reason this time, going beyond my relationship, sex, and everything is the best one: This is for my own personal happiness and contentment in who I am as a person. I wish you all luck on your journey and if any of you need a person to keep you accountable please do not hesitate to reach out.
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
You might not understand yet that a man being sexually with another man is not ok, is not normal, it is not good. It might feels like it is because it arouses you, but the fact that arouses you doesn't mean its ok. Your brain is already chemically twisted with porn, plus the fact that nowadays you can hear that LGBT crap everywhere that it is ok, isn’t it too obvious that this is part of the elite’s plan? They are twisting more and more people with sexual disorders. Nowadays you can define yourself as a “dragon” who is sexually aroused by cats, cows and unicorns. Man! How can somebody call this normal?
Vitoriosa likes this.
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
Is it normal that a man introduces his penis inside the whole from the crap comes out? Is that really normal to get the penis al muddy of crap? Does it feel good? Does it arouse some people? Yes! Because mind has the power to get you aroused from anything if you train it for that, or better said, if you twist it enough, and that it is what porn is doing plus the influence of the LBGT crap everywhere.
Vitoriosa likes this.
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
I have struggled with sexually attraction to men since the age of 9, I have had strong desires of being with a man. I am also attracted to women, I like women so much that I have fantasized a lot on being a woman. I was in crossdressing so deeply since the age of 9. In fact, I discover masturbation and orgasms by mistake at the age of 9 while I was rubbing my crotch imaging a man was raping me while I was fully dressed as a woman with my sister’s and mom’s stuff.
Vitoriosa likes this.
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
I was very deep into crossdressing and homosexual desires. I could define myself as bisexual too and as a crossdresser but I have live enough to see how destructive this is. I am not speaking about morality or just opinions and arguments. I had seen supernatural things. I had seen how all of this is work of evil spirits also called for some as demons. They are real, I don’t have an idea of the things I had seen.
Vitoriosa likes this.
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
The purpose of this evil spirits is to twist you, to deceive you, they want to end up destroying you in all possible ways. I know you might not believe what I am saying because you haven’t seen it. You might thing that this is science fiction but this is real. They want you to believe that those things that destroy you are good. Do you really thing that many people is destroying their selves with drugs for no reason? These spirits are also doing that I haven’t seen it!
Vitoriosa likes this.
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
The way they use drugs to destroy some, they use porn and this LBGT crap to distort and twist us. That therapist you are visiting is just following that same trend of the LBGT agenda controlled by the elite, that elite are in contact with these demons and follow their orders to destroy humanity. Yes, yes I know, again you might thing that this is just fantasy but sooner or later you’ll realized that this LBGT was a lie. I had already opened my eyes and scape from that crap.
Vitoriosa likes this.
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
I already lost a marriage, I was so close to become a transgendered person prostitute. I was able to escape from this but many haven’t escape yet and don’t know if they would leave enough to do so. They are still trapped and that lie, everybody is telling them “is ok, just to what makes you happy, just do what you like”.
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
Drug addicts also likes drugs, that also makes the happy, at least before their lives start breaking in pieces. Don’t come and tell me to be a drug addict is ok, what kind of world is this? “Just do what you want as long as it makes you happy, there are not consequences”, really?
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
What is normal and what is good for long term live (not just for temporally pleasure), is a man getting married with a woman, make a family based in love (not in lust), share everything to become one physically, emotionally and spiritually. Enjoy sex in the save frame of marriage being loyal to that woman and that woman being loyal to you. Get kids eventually, a healthy family. Anything out of this is going to affect you in some way. Of course the LBGT agenda is everything against this, they want to twist and destroy humanity.
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
You are free to believe and to do whatever you prefer, but that fact that you use your free will believing that was is bad is good doesn't mean you won't face the consequences. I am telling you the truth with the hope you open your eyes and see that all of this is a lie, but is your choice. Most of people get offended when somebody else contradicts their believes system because that’s where all your identity is lying down, but what if you are wrong? I know you are and I am trying to help you, so before getting offended consider that this what I am saying might have some truth
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
I know the real way to get out this crap, the porn addiction thing, homosexuality, being a fagot putting women clothes and all of this perverted and twisted things. But this is something I use to share with those who already realized how destructive these behaviors are and they really want to escape. If you really want to get out of this crap I can guide you because I had already escaped. I know the way but If you don’t want, at least I share the truth with you, at least you heard something apart for that LBGT crap which had been poisoning your mind.
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
Man! that crap is becoming a plague nowadays. I can't imagine how hurt society will be in the next generations. People is finding so hard to understand what is good and what is bad. Everything is relative nowadays and the elite is also selling the idea that you are more evolutioned if you believe in this no limits, no restrictions, do and believe what ever you want thing! In live there are limits, there are things you should avoid for your own safety, they are like fences to protect you. But with this lack sense for limits, humanity is getting lost.
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
By the way, it is not that I am against your happiness, in fact I am telling you that that way may offer you instant gratifications, happiness quick and easy, but there is going to be consequences. I am talking to you about really happiness, lasting happiness. Have you thought how is going to be your live in 10 or 20 years if you continue that way? What about 40?, are you thinking to live long?, is that kind of live going to allow you to live long enough, is your live going to be enjoyable long term?, or are you just thinking in the very day you are living?
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
By the way, what is happiness? Where is happiness coming from? How long can you maintain happiness? What can you do to keep happiness longer possible? How much is in your control? Is the live really about happiness? Sometimes we have a very selfish definition of happiness, we don’t even know what happiness and love is. Happiness is not necessarily the same as pleasure, sometimes to be happy you have to sacrifice some instant gratification, it might feel like you are not being happy for a while.
wwwolf more_vert
wwwolf
Happiness is something you have to seed, sometimes it requires sacrifices or to stay inside limits for your own protection, and it may take some time for you to harvest it, but it worth it. Lasting happiness is something that not many people is finding nowadays because they are lost in that many possible ways which take nowhere.
modernstore99 more_vert
modernstore99
@wwwolf We understand that you've been through a lot and have experienced a lot of pain and confusion, but you're living in a bubble man. For some reason, down to the core, you believe anything different from you or the way you grew up is evil and wrong. Step outside, and meet some people different from you. You might learn how to respect people different from you, and you might learn to respect yourself. Otherwise, you will never overcome your addiction to a sexual fantasy based on misogyny, lack of confidence, and degradation.
Timeforachange!!! likes this.
modernstore99 more_vert
modernstore99
Also bro, you are writing about demons, spirits, conspiracy theories, Illuminati type groups, and how your morality is the only way to be happy in this world. How do you expect others to take you seriously if what you're talking about. Idek if you're taking yourself seriously
Timeforachange!!! likes this.
modernstore99 more_vert
modernstore99
Lastly, no matter the circumstances for your sP addiction, whether it was shitty parenting, your body/personality, the environment you grew up in, or some crazy conspiracy to pervert you (I'm kidding this is not a reason), you are the one that PMOed to the stuff, you alone caused this, and you alone are the only one who can fix your problem. If you don't recognize this, you will never even have a chance of recovering or becoming a better person
Timeforachange!!! likes this.
Timeforachange!!! more_vert
Timeforachange!!!
@wwwolf you are completely entitled to your opinion on the matter and if that is what makes you actually happy then by all means go for it. But if your subconscious is telling you something that you are trying to bury deep down that is the exact definition of denial and that will not go away by lying to yourself. Believe me I have tried and when I do I do not feel happy and it does not feel right. Again, you can live however you want but you can’t deny certain parts of who you are, at least that’s what I believe and ever since I’ve been able to understand myself I personally feel like my demons have gone away and I can truly be myself.
modernstore99 more_vert
modernstore99
@wwwolf We're not tryna say you're gay or that you should be subservient sexually and socially to "alpha" men. Through the reboot, some soul searching, and learning about other people, you find out who you are and what makes you happy sexually. I literally thought about sexual transition surgery, but after a reboot, talking to some girls, and having some nice sex, I 100% know who I am. Of course sP isn't completely eradicated from my brain, since that takes time, but Ik its messages and themes are false.