Post published by FabioTN

I've been watching porn since I was 10. About 3 to 4 years ago my situation worsened and I've had ups and downs. I think that I've already overcome the worst part of my addiction, which was when I masturbated at least once a day. For the past year my average masturbation frequency is once a week. However lately I've not been able to maintain that frequency and that is a huge downgrade for me. That's why I decided to come back to NoFap. I want to put an end to this once for all. Two hears ago I joined NoFap for the first time and I was able to abstain of porn and mastrubation for 90 days, which is the milestone recommended by the website. However, after I achieved that, it seemed like I gave up. So now I am back and I'll try to get rid of this addiction, even if I have to fail multiple times.

I've always had a low self-esteem, I've always had an irrational fear of making mistakes. In addition to that, I've always been very anxious, because I had a very demanding school routine. So pornography became a moment where I could escape from the world and from all of my bad thoughts. Later it happened to be one of the worst choices I've ever made, because it actually worsened my self-sabotage thinking pattern. And then that habit became and addiction, so every time I felt anxious, I felt that I had to masturbate as if it was an obbligation. Besides that, in my teen years that addiction worsened even more my low self-esteem, especially with girls. I've never tried to have a girlfriend, although I would like a lot. I think that this a fear of being bad in bed. I am afraid of not making my partner feel good. That's why I am 18 years old and I am still a virgin. And so I try to escape from this bad thoughts with masturbation and every time I do so, my biological need to be with girls goes away. But not only with girls, it makes me want to isolate from all of my friends and from the world. It is a vicious cycle. However it does not only affect negatively my relationship with girls, but also when it comes about studying. Now that I am in university, I am afraid of not being able to study everything and so I procrastinate, I masturbate and I only start to study when the exams are close. And this actually makes the learning process considerably less pleasant. Besides the academic life, porn addiction also prevents me from doing other things that I'd like to do, which would be good for my personal development. The time has come to end it once for all!

Thanks for the attention guys!