Post published by jackstraya95

I just joined NoFap, and this forum looked the most suitable for my situation. My struggle with pornography and masturbation has lasted for most of my life. I could never rid myself of it longer than around 3 months. I got married to my wife in 2016. We are both college students who attend a church university. I went into the marriage fearful of how this habit may destroy my marriage. I am often fearful I can never get rid of it for good. Around 6 months into my marriage, I sat down with my wife and told her about my struggles. She was distraught. Us both growing up in a Christian home where we were taught that porn is a means of pure evil didn’t make her feel good regarding this confession. I understood this completely. (Mind you, I am going through a bit of a faith crisis right now which is another stress added) At the end of this conversation, she said, “I love you, but I won’t do this again.” In my mind, I knew that this would not be a cold turkey situation. It was going to be a process. This statement that she told me has haunted me for the past three years. I stand here today and cannot say that it has stopped. I am not watching porn every single day but it’s an occurrence I would say every 2-3 weeks. Some occurrences are more frequent than others. My wife is under the impression that I have conquered this mountain. I have stayed quiet out of fear of what she said. I am scared she is going to leave me and this marriage is going to fall apart. I know that I should be open and honest with my wife, but the fear has just crippled me. I am posting in this forum hoping maybe someone in this community can relate and give support. I am in search of an accountability partner. Someone I can text/call when I have no one else to talk to. I appreciate any response!