Post published by blessedfreedom

Well here i am up and down like a yoyo.This life i suppose hopefully in with the mercy of God i shall get to at least Purgotory.So sick and tired of this cross,pornography.It has ruined my life.In the one hand it is positive,thank God for my gift of perseverance,common sense and others praying i made to age sixty,of which forty-nine years i have being in a sex prison of masturbating,on and off.But,i am fed up with this!!Is there a better life???It is said that God purges sends crosses to people He loves the most.Is this true?!.If it is then i feel at times that i have two personalities.A dual spirtuality,do not know.Any way how long can i remain married,..when she knows i do this,i feel ashamed i betrayed a woman who is a saint in my books.We both share same values,but brought in this marriage the curse of FAP.,to make things worse i realised i may have even seen real rape,murder and all this demonic behavior called porn.I love God while i mastrubate,can anyone realate/?
Any how i stop here story too long.