Post published by ForceFire

Some advice on whether i have committed a mortal sin.

Earlier today i viewed mostly still images of post-operative male-to-female transgenders (mostly on reddit). Some were definitely pornographic i.e. included images featuring penetration. I don't think Catholic teaching makes a distinction between transgender pornography and any other kind. So i am not seeking to get off the hook on that count.

My "issue" is a longstanding problem with autogynephilic ideation - i can let concupiscence get the better of me and fantasise about possessing a bodily appearance that imitates a female, it's not quite true to say i have gender dysphoria however, it's closer to a problem with self-image but with a hint of identity confusion thrown in ( i do not know what i fundamentally am).

Anyway my consciousness eventually shook itself out of the sexual delirium it was in. What i reason to myself in favour of "mitigating circumstances" is that the intention to masturbate was not the dominant urge. And to add to that i have had a very erratic disordered sleep routine and have been continuously awake for 30+ hours so far.

It had been my intention to observe the Catholic octave "religiously"; i.e. holy communion every day. Now i feel the dirtiness of my actions and feel unworthy of the Eucharist. I want holy communion but it doesn't sit well with my conscience, so basically what i wish to know is were my actions "a mortal sin", i don't know whether the parish priest will be able to see me before Holy Mass tomorrow.

My motives and aspirations are all over the place. If i am treating this as a mortal sin unnecessarily on account of heightened scrupulosity then would you say go up to the alter and receive the host?
Mts209 more_vert
Mts209
I certainly not qualified to answer. This is something between you and our Savior. However you might start by looking up “ The Catholic Examination of Conscience”.
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Ketherlonk more_vert
Ketherlonk
I am not qualified to answer either. However, when in doubt, I prefer confessing my sin first -- if anything, to put my conscience at ease regardless.
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AModernMiroku more_vert
AModernMiroku
In truth, there is not a list of mortal sins (though the Decalogue--& many other places--give you a very, very strong list). The Catechism says on the matter: 1857 For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent."
AModernMiroku more_vert
AModernMiroku
And so, the question at hand is not whether or not the matter was grave or even committed with sufficient knowledge. The question regards consent & your culpability. Paragraphs 1860-62 speak more on this matter.
AModernMiroku more_vert
AModernMiroku
And so the CCC also says that "[mortal sin] also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice" & "the promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders."
AModernMiroku more_vert
AModernMiroku
To add further distinction: "One commits venial sin when, in a less serious matter, he does not observe the standard prescribed by the moral law, or when he disobeys the moral law in a grave matter, but without full knowledge or without complete consent."
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AModernMiroku more_vert
AModernMiroku
To conclude this terrible spamming of posts, I say the following: This is grave matter & you seem to possess adequate knowledge. I would ponder if you have sufficient consent because an addict does not have sufficient consent & thus his culpability is reduced. And yet, I cannot tell you one way or the other on this. I would advise asking a priest on the matter--& possibly seeing a trusted, holy priest regularly to hold you accountable & give you concrete, personal advice. It is much harder for a priest to assist in these deep matters if he really does not know you at all. It is hard to know a person & his soul, after all.
CPilot more_vert
CPilot
I am not a priest nor an expert on catechism. I offer a view only from my position as a fellow Catholic and long time sinner. Our Blessed Lord, left us the beautiful and holy sacrament of communion as a means to stay connected to Him. It is truly the body and blood of Christ and what an incredible privilege it is to bring His body within us through the sacrament. Be cautious and reverent with this incredible gift, consult a priest before choosing to receive it. Equally, don't curb the effects of the Eucharist by receiving it with such doubts and concerns on your mind.
ForceFire more_vert
ForceFire
To add to my original post - eventually temptation got the better of me later that day (lapse in sexual continence). So it it moot now whether i had or had not permitted myself to engage in a mortal sin. I never get beyond approx. 3 months, always fall at that hurdle. I sure am tired of this battle of will within myself.
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CPilot more_vert
CPilot
I have been there. I committed sins of lust for 5 decades and for 5 decades I was determined to quit. I don't recall many attempts that made it 3 months, so be encouraged. I predict you are on the cusp of greater success. I must add, I found greater success only when I finally acknowledged that every, literally every, serious attempt to quit ended when I became complacent about my commitment to daily, sincere, prayer and a relaxation of my determination not to allow myself to dwell on sinful thoughts and images. Moderate success lulled me into complacency. Good is the enemy of great.
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ForceFire more_vert
ForceFire
The duration of your own struggle against lust is epic. I never gave a moral account of my life until recently, and before i became Catholic i was a creature of nature subject to God's (withheld) wrath, as St Paul puts these things. Now it is heartening to read of your own determination and your advice. Thank you.
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