Post published by faxmaddick
I just relapsed and have literally no motivation to keep going, but I'm terrified of my brain and porn and what's going on with me. I've been trying to quit for about a year and shit just keeps getting worse. I'm absolutely terrified of what this escalation is doing to my brain. What if I wind up actually castrating myself? What if I start watching illegal porn? I feel like I'll never recover from PIED and it won't even be worth it. After 6 months away from porn I felt terrible. I just keep screwing up and the scariest part is I don't care. Porn is making me apathetic about everything. I'm throwing away my relationship with my family and my education, and I'm scaring myself. Yet, I can't seem to stop. I feel the need to do something dramatic.