Post published by Tao Jones

Amen brother

Dear brothers, I need to make a statement at this point. In order to test the strength of my inner will to resist PMO, I searched a former porn star who successfully quit porn. I also tried to find out how much of her content is still available online. I must say it felt like standing in front of an abyss as well for the mind as for the body. I surfed a trailer service site online and felt extremely uncomfortable.

Do I need to rest my tracker counter set? I am not sure about if it was a real relapse? My feelings are extremely confused and I feel great disappointment, though there really was no M and O of mine.

Please give some expert advice whether I should reset the tracker or just pray to God for forgiveness?

@CI-MA An alcoholic does not buy alcohol, our a drink, and leave it sit in front of him while he stares at it for a while in order to test his resolve. This would be insanity! I am not sure why you thought doing this would be helpful, but I can assure it was just another lie from the enemy meant to trip you up. If your commitment is no PMO and you viewed P, then you have relapsed. What you do with your counter is up to you, but it would be a lie to say you are P-free if you are not. And if you begin to lie to yourself, it will become easier to lie to others, and you will be right back into the furtive life of PMO.

Receive forgiveness from God. It is yours. Move on. Do not let this become an excuse to relapse further. And next time such an idea enters your mind, why not run it by the Spirit of Truth first? He will tell you better than we can what is good and helpful and what is a deception meant to ensnare. Praying for you and cheering you on. You are down but not out!

I did this with mixed feelings, but mainly in order to check out how I learned to abstain from P with help of NoFap. I tried to spot the devil behind the luring pictures and to find out what progress I made in this relation since I began using NoFap.

The effect was that I had no urge to view the footage (trailers) and the other thing I noticed is that though I’m down, as you mentioned, @Tao Jones, I’m not down to the very bottom. No M, no O. I prayed for forgiveness to Jesus Christ.

The conclusion I made from this experience is that if there is a thing/ a skill modern society needs urgently, than it’d be a “rubber gum” for embarassing and confusing online content. May God forgive and understand. Counter successfully reset.

One other tool I use is a browser extension that automatically hides images on every site I visit. I use it so I am not accidentally exposed to things I do not want to see. Even some ads are quite salacious! I can unhide images on sites where I need them for some reason, but often I just leave them turned off. It is like being able to be "blind" while online. A very nice way to navigate! (Maybe this is another way we can obey the command to "pluck out our eye" if it causes us to sin.)

But I would strongly advise against anyone doing what you initially did. Looking at inappropriate content to see if it still elicits a thrill in us is a fool's errand. (And I am the chief fool among us, for I have done the same more times than I can count!) When you have a modicum of distance between yourself and PMO, under no circumstances should you return to it. Isn't there a Proverb about a dog and its vomit? Yeah, it's something like that. No matter what, though, we are free at any time to turn back to Christ and begin pursuing him again. We will always welcome us back. Glad to have you as a traveling companion along the Way, @CI-MA !

Thank you for the expert advice. One other reason why I surfed in this unusual way is seasonal. The weather after a couple of days of snowing has lead to a state when many people stay indoors rather than go outside, due to slippery roads and walks etc.

Having a good indoor hobby for inclement weather is another helpful tool to add to the arsenal. There are a *million* things to do aside from PMO -- and almost all of them are a better thing to engage in!

You’re absolutely right about this, just look at my profile picture, do you see the turtle ? It’s handmade, by myself. Ever since people who wished to stop doing something and tried to remember not to restart they “tied a knot”. Will tie some more soon.