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+TenPercent
Last Activity:
Mar 28, 2024 at 6:32 PM
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+TenPercent

Fapstronaut

NoFap Defender

Sudden wave of sadness. Maybe just coming down from too many good things. Mar 27, 2024 at 7:14 PM

+TenPercent was last seen:
Engaged in conversation, Mar 28, 2024 at 6:32 PM
    1. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      Sudden wave of sadness. Maybe just coming down from too many good things.
      1. Orphan likes this.
    2. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      The secret is out, but not to the world yet. Just really really tired now. I will not M today. Not so sure about tomorrow.
      1. Lou Bloom and Orphan like this.
      2. Orphan
        Orphan
        Tomorrow can take care of itself, friend. Just you focus on today. You're doing great.
        Mar 24, 2024 at 8:00 PM
        +TenPercent and FocusIsLove like this.
    3. Sychar
      Sychar
      It's wonderful to have you back.❣
      1. +TenPercent likes this.
      2. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        It is wonderful to have made your acquaintance. I have spend many years on this site (over 6) and are rapidly becoming one of my favourite fapstronauts ever. :)
        Mar 24, 2024 at 6:48 PM
    4. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      "I've got a secret that I can't explain. The secret is this love." It's hard to bear. I can't share it until I share it with the one I love.
      1. Lou Bloom, Sychar and Orphan like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Sychar
        Sychar
        Is love towards the same person? or do we have a new participant?
        Mar 23, 2024 at 7:44 AM
        +TenPercent likes this.
      4. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        The same person. Over 4 years now. She's the one I will spend my life with. <3
        Mar 24, 2024 at 6:46 PM
        Sychar likes this.
      5. Sychar
        Sychar
        Is beautiful
        Mar 24, 2024 at 7:34 PM
        +TenPercent likes this.
    5. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      And now, day 0 without MO. (My Monday allowance). It would have been better to let the day pass without M? but at least it's over with.
      1. Sychar and Lou Bloom like this.
      2. TheLoneWolf88
        TheLoneWolf88
        I fear once I have sex for the first time, this PMO shit will come back with a vengeance
        Mar 18, 2024
        Sychar and +TenPercent like this.
    6. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      12 days without MO and . . . sex! Amazing sex! So glad that I didn't MO yesterday. :)
      1. Sychar and Lou Bloom like this.
    7. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      Almost relapsed!! My AP just helped talk me off the ledge with ice, deep breaths and the device.
      1. Sychar, Lou Bloom and Orphan like this.
      2. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        Today is day 12 without MO (or O). Planning / hoping to make love with my gf tonight. That surely triggered the urges (a sign of recovery?). So grateful to be in my device now. Haven't been using it much. But to MO just now would have RUINED our lovely evening.
        Mar 16, 2024
        Sychar and Orphan like this.
      3. Orphan
        Orphan
        Sending you many congratulations! You did really well to take those choices, and I hope you feel, not just grateful, but PROUD of yourself!! Have a great evening.
        Mar 16, 2024
        Sychar and +TenPercent like this.
    8. Sychar
      Sychar
      In this war I always win. ;)
      1. +TenPercent and Khufu like this.
    9. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      Oh boy, strong urges to MO right now. Tempted even to just edge. Long day at work. Did well, but struggling with urges now that I'm done.
      1. Lou Bloom, Khufu, Toni7 and 1 other person like this.
      2. Toni7
        Toni7
        You should not do it!. Do something until you forget about it.
        Mar 14, 2024
        Sychar, +TenPercent and Khufu like this.
      3. ✝️Jesus loves you
        ✝️Jesus loves you
        If you’re religious, memorizing Bible verses about lust and temptation help me.
        Mar 15, 2024
        +TenPercent and Sychar like this.
    10. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      Day 10. Struggling with desires to MO. A triggering thought yesterday, signals from my body after 10 days without. Doing my best to resist.
      1. Lou Bloom, Khufu and Sychar like this.
    11. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      No M yesterday, thus on Day 8 today. Already starting to feel the urges but, with the support of my friends on NoFap . . . I can do this!
    12. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      Today is the day that I can M but . . . I am encouraged by @Faithe to just let this moment 'Float away'.
      1. Sychar, Khufu, Keli and 2 others like this.
      2. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        I have been sick the past week+. Very few urges. My addiction tells me that I should M today, because my AP told me that I can (only on Mondays, only once), but I don't HAVE TO. My addiction tells me that if I don't do it today, I can't O until Saturday, maybe, and can't M until NEXT Monday.
        Mar 11, 2024
      3. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        I should have faith that I can do this, and wisdom to know that 2 weeks is better than one. There is a nagging idea in my head to M while I can, but I'm inspired to led that ideas just . . . float away. :)
        Mar 11, 2024
    13. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      In an attempt at moderation, my AP and I agreed that I can only M on Mondays. And only once, of course. That puts me in a use it or lose it
      1. Sychar, Lou Bloom and Khufu like this.
      2. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        situation. Had sex with my gf on Saturday. So . . . if I don't M today, I have to wait until Saturday to O, and if we don't have sex, then I have to wait until next Monday to MO. So much for spontaneity, but this helps me avoid ruining intimacy with my M addiction.
        Mar 4, 2024
        Sychar and Khufu like this.
      3. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        The ideal would be no M at all and to only O during sex, but . . . that really puts me in a tough place when Saturday sometimes comes and goes without sex.
        Mar 4, 2024
        Sychar and Khufu like this.
    14. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      Trying to M just once a week. None is best for me as an addict, with a partner, but the uncertainty & similarity of sex is a roller coaster.
      1. Sychar, HenryforwardV2 and Khufu like this.
      2. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        Making love with a partner is a beautiful thing - helping to fill their sexual needs. But . . . it's complicated as a life long M addict. The O triggers M cravings. And I can never demand my partner to meet my O desires (not a need) so sex is unpredictable.
        Mar 2, 2024
        Sychar likes this.
      3. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        And, of course, I can help but anticipate when sex might occur . . . and fail miserably in those anticipations, which then increases the urge to M, both in anticipation and in disappointment.
        Mar 2, 2024
        Sychar likes this.
    15. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      Much better now. My AP suggested that I only be allowed to M on Mondays . . . so that's what I did. Back on Day 1 today.
      1. Sychar, Khufu and Lou Bloom like this.
    16. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      Blue balls. Thrice hoped to make love with my gf these past two weeks (we didn't), fighting urges to M the whole time. Crazy URGES to M now!
      1. Sychar, Khufu and silex_jedi like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Mr. Unhappy
        Mr. Unhappy
        I’ve never experienced BB.. But prayers for you man, hold on! Most I’ve experienced is pain from extensive edging.
        Feb 18, 2024
        +TenPercent likes this.
      4. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        I think it's about the same, but maybe worse sometimes when you are hoping for sex and then don't have it. Or maybe that . . . and edging. I get blue balls from edging. Though some of the worst is from expecting sex and not getting it. Painful AND so swollen. It 'feels like" they're so big you could sit on them like a chair!
        Feb 18, 2024
        Sychar and Khufu like this.
      5. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        and they're better now after some exercise and ibuprofen.
        Feb 18, 2024
        Sychar and Khufu like this.
    17. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      Day 13 . . . ugh, I want to M so bad! Feeling lots of frustrations today. It's so hard to keep my hands off but I will try to stay strong!
      1. Sychar, Khufu, Mr. Cooler and 2 others like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        That might be a good way to look at it . . . I used to think I was really addicted to arousal - the more intense and the longer the better. I didn't want to O. It was brief and then all the fun was over :(
        This is why I am prone to edging!!
        Someone here helped me to see that I was actually addicted to O, the build up was really for a mind numbing massive O.
        Feb 18, 2024
        Sychar, Khufu and WaterNewt like this.
      4. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        That helped me to stay in Hard Mode. The addiction is to O. M is to achieve O. And P is needed to M more often - to get more O's.
        I am 99% free of P and have had many long streaks without O . . . but I struggle the most with M. I am p, M and o addicted - with an emphasis on the M.
        Feb 18, 2024
        Sychar, Khufu and WaterNewt like this.
      5. WaterNewt
        WaterNewt
        Happy to hear that! Let's stay focused and strong, brother!
        Feb 18, 2024
    18. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      Had a great Valentine's Day (though love making might have made it better). Struggling with urges and impulses to masturbate. Day 11 . . .
      1. Sychar, Khufu, _Rasha_ and 2 others like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        I'm glad to have a fellow traveller on this journey and grateful for your support! This is about self improvement AND it's about commitment in a relationship.
        Feb 16, 2024
        Sychar and Khufu like this.
      4. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        My partner has not set boundaries on masturbation (but porn is not okay). I need to do my part to ensure that I am present for her and capable of intimacy when the time comes. And M for me is dangerous territory - it can lead me down dark pathways of fantasy and back to porn use.
        Feb 16, 2024
        Sychar and Khufu like this.
      5. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        @_Rasha_ I believe that intimacy with a partner is far more important than masturbation, but now I am thrice thwarted. I've held off so that we might make love last Saturday, then Valentine's and now this Saturday. It's okay that we didn't but I am REALLY struggling not to M today!
        Feb 18, 2024
        Sychar and Khufu like this.
    19. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      Day 10 without M. Happy Valentine's Day!! Don't let V-day be an excuse for self pity (or PMO) - Focus on the love that you can give
      1. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        and celebrate the people you love . . .
        Feb 14, 2024
        Sychar, _Rasha_ and Mr. Cooler like this.
    20. +TenPercent
      +TenPercent
      Had a rough, stressful day. Tempted to M. Not because of arousal, simply to relieve myself of all this stress. I'll take a bath . . .
      1. Sychar and Mr. Cooler like this.
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  • About

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    Orgasm Addict. Compulsive Masturbator. Porn, Fantasy and Edging Addict. Longest streaks without O: 55, 63, 125, 129, 134, 154d.; without M: 191 days; without P: 454 days.
    Best "imperfect" Streak = 325 days w/ one M slip (MO @125, WD @259, sex @ 296)

    0 unauthorized voluntary releases (i.e. M) (of 4) in 2023 vs 18/22 in 2022 13/25 in 2021, 24/42 in 2020, 5/18 in 2019, 40/43 in 2018 and 82/82 in 2017.
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