500

And if a person relapses first thing in the morning, basically the whole rest of the day is ruined

Agreed...this is why I put my alarm on the other end of my room so I have to get out of bed.

Yep, I can definitely relate. In my case before, it was the loneliness of being single which was killing me. And once I gave in, it ruined my whole day.

Even if the mind is bombarding you with sexual thoughts/feelings/impulses

It is perhaps one of the greatest forms of suffering on this planet. You lose your enlightened state, you lose communion with God, you lose inner drive to find a partner. It leads to a hell on earth

I agree. Intense mental suffering. It's all I've done over the last 17 years

I agree. It's one of the craftiest plans to capture humankind that the Devil guy has backed. He seeks to cause humankind the greatest misery he possibly can before his power is revoked. The ramifications of PMO/MO addiction is far reaching.

7 day streak, twinning

Keep going brother! Thanks for journaling. I'm new here and it is helpful to read the experience of those a further along.

In the past few weeks, I notice I now have more endurance… a lot less inner anxiety, able to more easily hold conversations. Generally am not as nervous as before, which helps me be stronger in real life because I’m not doubting myself as much

That's good shit brother. I can relate I've been dealing with improvements with the ladies with more respect for myself. I've been improving incrementally on things I'm weak on as well as my strengths on different days. That's good bro keep on your bs

thanks, yea I think NoFap/Semen Retention is definitely an incremental improvement journey... the change doesn't happen overnight.. its like things slowly build up.. however, a relapse can be pretty harmful overall and cause bad feelings much quicker

good to here you are seeing improvements as well! let's both keep going forward with this

Good luck. I got to bed at 9:30pm when I work and I hate it lol. Hopefully you end up liking it lol

Thanks, yea I have no choice really haha, I need to get up early most days and don’t want to be sleep deprived

Yeah I hear ya lol

I worked Saturday/Sunday. Last time PMO was Thursday. Today I felt so weak… I could be easily destroyed by an aggressor at any moment

I felt like a zombie before, going to my classes after an evening PMO session with only 2-3 hours sleep! What a way to destroy ourselves! But there is a way out, brother! Just keep persevering!

Yea, i think in my younger 20’s I could get away with PMO more easily.. at least the physical side effects of it.. but now, relapse hurts both my body strength and my mind

Yea I will keep persevering! Thanks for the support

Well I'm no expert, but just experience. It is usually a composite of factors. I am sure your disappointment with the lady at the volunteer work is a big factor, then your schooling now. Probably you are frustrated with how things are going with your life. You are right, this is a mental battle. I thought the Gregorian chant is helping you?

Yea it was helping a lot, or at least I thought it was. But yea, I agree with what you said.. kinda feel like PMO is my only real experience with having fun nowadays

Well, you can't just write your journal here. You need to have somebody you can constantly talk this with, whether that's online or real life. Addictions flourish in darkness, in secrecy, in isolation. And we get too hard on ourselves. You can continue with what you think is working for you. Otherwise, change strategy. I know it's not easy. But being difficult doesn't mean it's impossible. You can do this!