AndrewThePilot

Slipped up and almost relapsed completely, I just let myself do it this time. Just ashamed bc I’m I can do so much better

All I’m saying while it hasn’t been a clean 36 days. I’m gonna get my shot together. I need to find other ways to let go of stress.

Slipped up just need to clean my act up that’s it. I really don’t know I need to find a better reason to quit.

It’s been a trip to get here and it was ugly. I always tell myself to run but then return to the bad shit. I really need me to want this.

Caught myself edging, got bored which was issue and I should be sleeping rn so I’ll try to fall asleep.

Still going strong, won a football game last night, felt like letting lose but I want to wait until I can find a girl I think

Just had a wet dream. First one in I don’t know how long. I didn’t realize it until I woke up. Surprising sense I went to sleep at 9 ish.

Almost released again in a little pissed bc I let myself get there. Just gotta hold myself to it no one said it was easy but I can do it.

Almost let it happen again just need to force myself to sleep

Slight urges pushed me today. Guard was down and just let it happen. Didn’t release any thing but I should have walked away.

First urges in a while happened and I began to edge and view porn however I’ve caught myself before anything happens can’t have it happen

Football practice was long 8-12 but got a solid meal and ice bath in after. Hell week is gonna suck but I’m trying to stay positive.

Had a solid day today glad things went good. Trying to be more positive but it’s hard.

Energy levels down this morning, happens every time and I always struggle to regain it. I have 0 reasons to do it and 100 to retain.

Relapsed, just don’t know like I don’t this shit is getting frustrating but I’m just to driven to quit so I won’t give up.

Feeling pretty good this morning got some well needed sleep but my fire dept physical had something go wrong with EKG hope I’m all good lol.

Just did a solo flight it to be honest.. sucked ass. I didn’t have a great time. Worried bc my check ride to get my license is coming.

New journal up gonna try to post every night and hold myself to it.

I need to be putting in more effort to stop myself instead of letting it happen. I’ll start posting more and try to be better about movin on

For my future self, that kid that dreamed of a future full of greatness and success, this one’s for you bud. Here we go.