Recent content by blue is everywhere

  1. blue is everywhere

    How to react to a relapse?

    I am speechless before so much nonsense. Yes it is my choice and responsibility to believe in this relationship. Obviously, it is beautiful and strong and worth it, if I decided I wanted to try to work it out, even though this addiction makes it more than difficult sometimes. I am responsible...
  2. blue is everywhere

    How to react to a relapse?

    I'm so tired of this; these ups and downs, when you feel your relationship goes from being extremely beautiful, kind, calm, hopeful until you're back to that exact same point of despair over and over again. My BF tries to quit since years. These last few months were particularly tough, as he...
  3. blue is everywhere

    am I going crazy? help very much appreciated

    Thank you for that. You kind of really summed up my thoughts and it feels good to see that I'm not mad for reacting the way I do and not being able to just "cope with it". He improved in listening to me and realizing the impact of it on me, but it is still far from ideal. It's always the same...
  4. blue is everywhere

    am I going crazy? help very much appreciated

    I don't believe he can handle this alone because he really can't. He tried for years on his own and it just isn't enough. He just began therapy, I guess that's a good thing though. But I can't just stay playing blind while he's still using porn on my back knowing it doesn't help either him or me.
  5. blue is everywhere

    am I going crazy? help very much appreciated

    I asked him that before and he chose me. But he still says it's HIS problem, not mine. And that if I make a scene every time it happens, then I'm making it worse. But that doesn't seem right or fair to me. I know he's suffering but should I just let him go on with it because "it's too hard to...
  6. blue is everywhere

    am I going crazy? help very much appreciated

    He might not mean everything he says and he is sorry about hurting me by his behavior. But he says I'm wrong to try to keep him away from porn. That for doesn't make sense to me. But still, I want this relationship to work so I want to do things right. I just feel hurt and overwhelmed by it all...
  7. blue is everywhere

    am I going crazy? help very much appreciated

    Hello, I'm just putting that here in a vague moment of hope for answers. My boyfriend is a porn addict since years. It's been a bit more than a year that he told me and I have the feeling that it kind of gotten worse ever since then. Fights, drama, tears, and a lot of pain. I just can't stand...
  8. blue is everywhere

    Ultimatum

    Hello again, So. He promised that he won't do it again. (Just so it's clear: I didn't want him to promise that, as I knew there was a huge risk of him breaking that promise. He really wanted to do it. So he did.) But then he didn't keep it. We're in a long distance relationship, and since I...
  9. blue is everywhere

    Not sure I can handle this

    Oh okay, maybe I should read a bit more about that then. Yeah, I know that. I imagine how hard it can be, I mean I see him struggling so hard, I can't deny it. But it isn't irreversible. It can actually be changed again, even if it is very, very hard. I still think he can do it. He is also...
  10. blue is everywhere

    Not sure I can handle this

    Well, that is a huge promise, but I do think he takes promises seriously. Really. But let's see how this one goes.. Yes we did have sex the night before. But he seems exhausted afterwards, so not sure abot chaser effect...!u
  11. blue is everywhere

    Not sure I can handle this

    It happened again yesterday after 38 days clean. I just left his place and he did it not even an hour after I left. But he told me the truth. Now he promised it won't ever happen again. I didn't force him to promise anything, he did himself. And I know how much promises mean to him, so... I...
  12. blue is everywhere

    Panic. Please help me understand

    It might not be porn as actual explicit videos, but of course there are pictures, "softer" videos and everything that goes with it
  13. blue is everywhere

    Panic. Please help me understand

    The whole "fishing thing" is very well explained here:
  14. blue is everywhere

    Do porn fantasies go away with recovery?

    Can't even reply to this. This is my nightmare...
  15. blue is everywhere

    Do porn fantasies go away with recovery?

    Here one question I'd really want to grasp: do the fetishes and porn induced fantasies of a PA vanish when he recovers? I recently discovered my bf's obsession for gang bangs and cuckold porn and these are things that frighten me, as it implies "another girl" and I will just never want to do...
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