BryceLi
Last Activity:
Jan 10, 2019
Joined:
Dec 23, 2017
Messages:
89
Likes Received:
137
Trophy Points:
33
Manage Groups:
0
Gender:
Male
Birthday:
Mar 12, 2000 (Age: 19)
Occupation:
College Student

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BryceLi

Fapstronaut, Male, 19

I wish I didn’t rekapse Nov 24, 2018

BryceLi was last seen:
Jan 10, 2019
    1. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      I wish I didn’t rekapse
      1. Deleted Account
        Deleted Account
        We all do buddy, we all did at one point...
        Nov 24, 2018
      2. Deleted Account
        Deleted Account
        Hindsight...it’s a bitch.
        Nov 24, 2018
    2. BryceLi
    3. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      Guess who’s back
      1. MuscularSherlockHolmes
        MuscularSherlockHolmes
        Slim Shady?!?
        Jul 24, 2018
        Warrior Within likes this.
    4. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      Reboot easy on family vacation, even if there’s hot girls all around me ;)
    5. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      It’s so hard starting a streak
    6. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      I’m going insane
      1. Vherenz
        Vherenz
        It takes strength to contain that energy. And it seems that you're doing it so well. Good job. :)
        Mar 16, 2018
      2. A leaf
        A leaf
        You got buddies right here by your side. You not alone here
        Mar 16, 2018
      3. Deleted Account
        Deleted Account
        Is it part of your process of getting sober? :)
        Mar 17, 2018
    7. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      This is so fucking hard
    8. BryceLi
    9. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      I must repent of my sins of PMO
      1. Deleted Account, A leaf and 2525 like this.
    10. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      I didn’t want it bad enough so I relapsed on day 0 again
      1. A leaf likes this.
    11. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      I will not masturbate. Failure is not an option. Failure is not something in my mind. I will not entertain the thought of it.
    12. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      Insufficient effort, relapsed today
    13. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      Stop rationalizing relapse
      1. A leaf likes this.
    14. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      I am progressing
      1. A leaf likes this.
    15. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      I SHALL NOT
      1. A leaf, StraightEdge3616 and 2525 like this.
    16. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      Liberate yourself
      1. A leaf and 2525 like this.
    17. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      I had this thing about me last year that I don’t have anymore. Something like, self-confidence?
      1. A leaf likes this.
    18. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      We will win.
      1. A leaf likes this.
    19. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      Can, Will, Must. Repeat this to yourself
      1. A leaf likes this.
    20. BryceLi
      BryceLi
      Can. Will. Must.
      1. A leaf likes this.
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Birthday:
    Mar 12, 2000 (Age: 19)
    Occupation:
    College Student
    Journal Thread Link:
    View my Journal
    My online pseudonym is Bryce Li. I am officially a fapstronaut. My main goal is to regain functionality of my genitals, as I’m a healthy, fit 17 year-old male who hasn't gotten a full erection in years. I can still get hard enough to ejaculate and often times PMO multiple times a day, but I’m 80 percent sure that I’m not hard enough to penetrate an actual vagina. Feels like I’m yanking at a soft, cylindrical piece of putty.

    When I was in elementary school I developed this fun game where I would lay face down on the ground and put the part of my hand between my thumb and pointer finger at the base of my little flaccid penis and wiggle around on the floor until it stopped feeling good.

    It was a strange form of masturbation and it made me feel this burning sensation when I was peeing. When I was like a first grader.

    This habit stayed with me through middle school, it was at this time that I got a burning sensation straight after I finished with whatever the hell it was I was doing. I wanted to stop doing it but I didn’t because I was addicted. It was at this time that I realized that this was a real issue.

    In freshmen year I got a therapist to talk about this with. He is an extremely good therapist who is very well respected and is actually a professor at a uni. He has helped me with so much and my life would be so much worse without him. But there is one thing that I wish he didn’t have us do.

    WE TOLD MY PARENTS ABOUT THE MASTURBATION ISSUE. WE SAT THEM IN A ROOM, AND WE EXPLAINED THE WHOLE THING TO THEM. WHY THE HELL DID I AGREE TO IT? WHY DID IT MAKE SENSE TO ME AT THE TIME?

    To my mom, it seemed like a self-harming thing. And she cried for days and days over it. It made me feel so terrible.

    Both her and my dad were extremely concerned that I would never be able to have sex and have children so they took me to an urologist.

    Thankfully, my urologist told me that no permenant damage was done. Woohoo! We we’re so happy.

    BUT

    The urologist told me to do one thing, and that was to “leave your dick alone”.

    Guess who didn’t do that. This guy! *points to himself

    In fact, not only did I not stop masturbating, I kept on masturbating in the self-harming way.

    I am such an idiot sometimes. Really!

    I did end up making the transition from masturbating in the self-harming way to the proper way some months later. But I’m still not functional. It’s been four years (I'm a senior in high school now), and I’ve been PMO’ing the proper way all this time and my dick isn’t functional yet. I've wanted to stop masturbating all together but I've never lasted too long with that.

    On the flip side though, it doesn't feel like someone poured buffalo sauce into my urethra and urinating is not a painful process anymore, but I would still like to have erections that are good enough. I've also lied to my parents and told them that I'm 100% functional.

    But that is subject to change. Sometimes, I have doubts as to whether or not I can ever be hard enough to have sex and lose motivation to get my erections back. But that's the type of thing that NoFap is for.

    Here is my story, fellow fapstronauts.

    Signature

    [​IMG]
    I can. I will. I must.
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