Fap 5 Freddy
Joined:
Sep 28, 2015
Messages:
205
Likes Received:
367
Trophy Points:
63
Manage Groups:
0
Gender:
Male
Birthday:
October 9
Location:
London, England
Occupation:
artist

Share This Page

Fap 5 Freddy

Fapstronaut, Male, from London, England

I wish quitting was straightforward and simply got a little easier every day. This is an annoyingly complicated problem I got myself into. Sep 1, 2018

    1. MerseyPhoenix
      MerseyPhoenix
      Hi, I can relate to so much of your blog.
      1. Fap 5 Freddy
        Fap 5 Freddy
        Thanks. It's good to know that at least some of it is worthwhile to others.
        Feb 16, 2019
        MerseyPhoenix likes this.
    2. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      I wish quitting was straightforward and simply got a little easier every day. This is an annoyingly complicated problem I got myself into.
      1. Deleted Account likes this.
    3. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      I learn to accept the pain of growing. It's a struggle but it's better than the pain of standing still in addiction.
    4. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      the only way I'm really going to grow is to face down my addictions
    5. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      Slowly developing the strength I need to quit this addiction.
      1. spaces and Deleted Account like this.
    6. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      Everything passes. The urges pass. The frustration passes. Have patience.
    7. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      I don't always feel strong but I'm working to build my strength and resolve.
      1. LEPAGE likes this.
    8. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      I'm trying to bounce back from a relapse. I learn something every time I relapse but I still find it difficult to change permanently
      1. dboy18 likes this.
    9. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      You can create a better reality for yourself.
      1. LEPAGE likes this.
    10. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      looking forward to existing and not just resisting
    11. Born_For_War
      Born_For_War
      Hello my good chap. Just wanted to compliment you on your username and your pic. Hope that hand's staying wank-free!
      1. Fap 5 Freddy likes this.
      2. Fap 5 Freddy
        Fap 5 Freddy
        Ha. Thanks. I needed to approach my username with a sense of humour because recovery from addiction is a challenge and humour needs to be a part of it.
        Nov 25, 2017
        Born_For_War likes this.
    12. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      I find reassurance and strength in knowing that I'm not alone in fighting my addiction
    13. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      I need to be stronger than any urge. Urges are temporary, and I made a promise to myself to go another 90 days.
      1. Noland and jest like this.
    14. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      It's not just about avoiding bad habits, it's about building a foundation for healthy growth. It's about improving, not just quitting.
      1. Born_For_War
        Born_For_War
        *Exactly!*
        Nov 25, 2017
    15. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      The longer I avoid unhealthy habits the easier it gets
      1. Deleted Account
        Deleted Account
        Fap 5 Freddy is an awesome name. Old school , lol.
        Jul 27, 2017
        Fap 5 Freddy likes this.
      2. Fap 5 Freddy
        Fap 5 Freddy
        Thanks. Almost no one has commented on it. Glad you like it. It made me laugh when I came up with it and I hope it does the same for others.
        Jul 27, 2017
        A41:14A likes this.
    16. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      Relapse should be a lesson. Why did it happen and how can I fix it so I don't do the same again.
      1. Rising Sun !!
        Rising Sun !!
        Right..
        Jul 23, 2017
        Survivalist likes this.
    17. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      So many people sharing the stories of their struggles to improve themselves and all of this helps me to understand my own situation better.
    18. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      If you relapse you feel disappointment, and then you look back like a boxer would at a fight to see where and how he was vulnerable.
    19. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      Sharing your story is a vital part of recovery. Mistakes are a necessary part of recovery because you will learn from your mistakes.
    20. Fap 5 Freddy
      Fap 5 Freddy
      You fill the empty space that porn has left with healthy habits and before you know it you stop thinking about what used to be in that space
  • Loading...
  • Loading...
  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Birthday:
    October 9
    Location:
    London, England
    Occupation:
    artist
    The penny dropped for me when I watched the TED talks video by Gary Wilson last week. I have struggled with serious depression for several years now, and for 10 years I have been actively PMO-ing to temporarily escape this. 6 years ago 4 close friends and 3 acquaintances died in a really short time, and I just lost the plot. I spent a lot of time distracting myself from my grief with a chronic habit of PMO. I realised that I was deeply depressed, and I sought help. I had a year of talking therapy, which helped a lot. I grew up in an extremely violent and psychologically toxic home. When I was old enough to leave home I managed very well for about 10 years, and I was incredibly creative, motivated, sociable, confident. But my confidence and motivation began to drop off, and PMO began to fill more and more of my time. When I spoke with my therapist about this, he simply tried to discourage me from feeling ashamed about it. He didn't seem to want to see it as a problem, or perhaps I didn't want to see it as a problem and I am projecting that on him. In any case, I found that talking about it helped, I stopped needing to watch porn for about a week and then I started again, justifying this with typical addict thinking: if I was able to stop for a few days, it can't be a problem. I now realise that I have a lot of addiction issues, and not being in touch with my feelings is partly driving these issues.
    PMO is how I dealt with stress. I tend to work from home, and the projects I was working on would be continually interrupted with longer and longer porn breaks. I got so I couldn't focus or concentrate for more than an hour at a time. Projects took longer and longer to complete, because watching porn was becoming more and more like my full time job.
    So the video by Gary Wilson and other videos by people who have given up porn was eye-opening for me. The depression, the lack of motivation, the inability to finish projects exactly fit what I was going through. This almost certainly has roots in my turbulent childhood, but despite spending a year in therapy, and changing some habits, like giving up smoking weed and exercising more I still find myself in a state of depression with little curiosity about things I used to find enjoyable. I have now gone 10 days without PMO. The first week wasn't a problem but it's now begun to feel like this will be a real challenge. The last 3 days I have been having quite compulsive urges to check out porn. Reading other peoples stories and progress reports has made a big difference. So here is hoping that I can go 90 days without checking out porn. I spent years thinking that watching porn was harmless. But having stopped for a few days and now feeling cravings for it makes me realise what a compulsion it is/was. And for me it worked like an addiction - it became something I required. So my reboot has started with all the symptoms I've read about - flatlining, anxiety, and of course, depression. I understand that these are common symptoms, and the truth is that other than flatlining they are the symptoms I've had for years now. Despite this, I feel very positive about the changes that will occur...the idea of rewiring my brain is exciting, I just wish it would happen faster. So the withdrawal blues I have today I'm going to just push through. I am giving up something I was addicted to and my body doesn't like it at the moment. Learning about the science of porn addiction and seeing and reading the personal accounts of so many people in the same situation has both shown and inspired me to take up this challenge and make a positive change for myself. I expect that there will be many tribulations, but many triumphs as well.

    Signature

    [​IMG]
  • Loading...