Foonay

Hey I'm Foonay, I've just turned 24 years old. I'm probably clinically depressed but won't sort it out because I think it makes me weak.

I did this successfully for a girl for 103 days earlier in the year and really felt better for it. Then, after a hectic exam period and some emotional damage from the girl I fell back. It started with edging on day 103 to break the cycle.

Slowly, over the exam period it progressed to weekly. Then for the first time in a LONG time about a week ago I watched porn to deal with some of the negative emotions in my head. Of course, it didn't help.

But I kept on down the path hopelessly. I just want to cry, and I don't want to be this person anymore. Its just so hard to stop.

I've done it all- prostitutes, glory holes with strangers, porn and I hate all of it and I hate myself for it and I'm ruining myself and I want to stop.

I don't want to be this person anymore- but I don't currently value myself enough to see the light and stop it. I know the value will come but until then, I'm gonna need everyone's help.

It's hard but this time I'm doing it for myself and I pray it works out.

Cheers,

Foonay

Guitar, Writing, Drawing