mlang284
Last Activity:
Aug 12, 2018
Joined:
Jul 7, 2016
Messages:
80
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185
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Gender:
Male
Birthday:
Aug 11, 1964 (Age: 55)
Location:
San Antonio, TX

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mlang284

Fapstronaut, Male, 55, from San Antonio, TX

Good morning so far-optimistic for the weekend. Doing more language-related reading and that helps. Best wishes to all on the journey today! Nov 19, 2016

mlang284 was last seen:
Aug 12, 2018
    1. mlang284
      mlang284
      Good morning so far-optimistic for the weekend. Doing more language-related reading and that helps. Best wishes to all on the journey today!
      1. Unas and HappyInTheRain like this.
      2. HappyInTheRain
        HappyInTheRain
        Cool bro I'm learning language too :)
        Nov 19, 2016
    2. mlang284
      mlang284
      Frustrating and disappointing morning but gained inspiration from a couple of friends. Day by day is the way to go.
      1. vibemaker likes this.
    3. mlang284
      mlang284
      Still going, thanks to J who is truly a gift to me from God. A rough trigger moment, but talking through it made the difference.
      1. coconutplums likes this.
      2. coconutplums
        coconutplums
        Keep going, M. So proud of you. C':
        Oct 9, 2016
    4. mlang284
      mlang284
      Only the grace of God has kept my streak going recently ... I'll take it and be thankful.
    5. mlang284
      mlang284
      Doing my best to focus on blessings today.
    6. mlang284
      mlang284
      Bad news did not arrive today :) and taking a long train trip tomorrow - no PMO (never habitually viewed it on a phone anyway...)
      1. Stardweller1 and Sleeping_Beauty like this.
    7. mlang284
      mlang284
      Expecting very bad news tomorrow...I will be as strong as possible.
    8. mlang284
      mlang284
      Too bad the 8/31 WSJ article on PMO is locked but here is the Pamela Anderson article synopsis - http://yhoo.it/2c12cEp
      1. Sleeping_Beauty likes this.
    9. mlang284
      mlang284
      Doing a little better. I know the prayers from others have helped.
      1. Sleeping_Beauty
        Sleeping_Beauty
        Sending positive vibes your way...
        Sep 5, 2016
    10. SoggySailor
      SoggySailor
      Trite aphorisms never helped me either. We're praying for you, and if nothing else, this forum should tell you that you're not alone. There's plenty of us in the same leaky boat. It sucks. Trying to remember that "God has a plan..." (Jer 29:11, IIRC) is impossible, or irrelevant at times, but try to hold on.
      1. Unas and RogerThat like this.
    11. mlang284
      mlang284
      Depression and very negative thoughts creeping in.."turning that frown upside down" doesn't seem to work. That actually never has for me..
      1. Unas
        Unas
        Despite what happened: People like you for who you are. I'm not of great help with my advice, but don't force yourself, try to let it pass and in the course of time things will appear in a different light.
        Aug 29, 2016
    12. mlang284
      mlang284
      Thanks to friends for the support and prayers. Suicidal thoughts have stopped. It's going to be a better day.
      1. Unas and vulture175 like this.
      2. Unas
        Unas
        ...and the sun keeps rising :)
        Aug 27, 2016
      3. xedger
        xedger
        So glad you're feeling stronger :)
        Aug 28, 2016
    13. mlang284
      mlang284
      Still tremendously depressed. Lots of very dark thoughts continue. It's not letting up.
      1. Deleted Account likes this.
      2. Deleted Account
        Deleted Account
        The sun is "that" much brighter after the storm. Keep on going. It gets better.
        Aug 26, 2016
      3. mlang284
        mlang284
        Thanks, it's getting better.
        Aug 26, 2016
      4. Deleted Account
        Aug 26, 2016
    14. mlang284
      mlang284
      I still wish God would kill me. But my heart keeps beating.
      1. vulture175
        vulture175
        my belief is being broken
        Aug 26, 2016
      2. Unas
        Unas
        My dear friend, whatever happened, you are never alone, more people than we imagine make mistakes and sometimes they are worse than ours, we just don't know. Sometimes we want to bury our heads in the sand, but I assure you, it will pass, don't let the thought ruin your life, you have my support. All the best
        Aug 26, 2016
    15. mlang284
      mlang284
      Feeling awful in general. I hate my life.
      1. HappyInTheRain and coconutplums like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. coconutplums
        coconutplums
        I understand. and hey, it is okay to feel these ways, but that doesnt mean that your thoughts speak the truth. The world would not be a better place without you. Perhaps you made a mistake, but we all do. Ive made tremendous fuck ups in my life that affected others as well. Today is a new day, love. Start over and take some time to treat yourself well. You are worthy of acceptance and love just as you are today.
        Aug 26, 2016
      4. mlang284
        mlang284
        Thanks very much. I'm still here. I can't tell you how many times today I thought about killing myself. I'm tremendously depressed. I won't kill myself. I don't have the courage to do it. I'll continue. And none of this has to do with PMO. I'm too depressed for PMO. I just don't like living.
        Aug 26, 2016
      5. coconutplums
        coconutplums
        I know it doesn't have anything g to do with it. I'm so sorry you're struggling like this. I'll speak to you further in message. I know I mentioned pmo in there but I'd like to add that we can talk about your overall well-being. <3
        Aug 27, 2016
    16. SoggySailor
      SoggySailor
      Hey, how's it going? And don't worry if you fell last night. Get up, we're here to give you a helping hand. God does not condemn you. He only has words of encouragement.
      1. mlang284 likes this.
      2. mlang284
        mlang284
        I will never be forgiven for the mistake I made at work in a very public setting. (Actually none of this has to do with PMO) I still feel like dying. But I appreciate your prayers and words of encouragement. I wish I would go away.
        Aug 26, 2016
    17. SoggySailor
      SoggySailor
      Father , we pray for this man, trying so hard to follow You. Bless him and keep him , Lord. Give him more strength and courage, and comfort him in what he sees as his failures. Amen
      1. Unas and mlang284 like this.
    18. SoggySailor
      SoggySailor
      Praying now. Probably too late -but prayer can never hurt. If you fell, remember it's the getting up that counts!
    19. mlang284
      mlang284
      Very depressed and extremely angry tonight...please keep me in prayer. I don't want to act out with PMO, I want someone to hear me.
      1. Deleted Account likes this.
      2. thisguy1
        thisguy1
        Hey bro, it's okay to feel sad. The trick is to know how to get happy. If you want to talk it over, just PM me. Remember this, PMO will make it worse.
        Aug 9, 2016
      3. mlang284
        mlang284
        Thanks. I know, PMO would get me so depressed I would probably drink a bottle of bleach or something. I'm really at a low point. Ready for life to end.
        Aug 26, 2016
    20. mlang284
      mlang284
      Rediscovering the power of various Bible passages.
      1. Unas likes this.
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Birthday:
    Aug 11, 1964 (Age: 55)
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
    Language learner. The addiction brings me down and I fear it will affect a future possible relationship.

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