protectorofmanyrealms

That feeling is truly horrible and worrying and I am very unsure of what to do

It feels like it’s just going to happen even tho I’m not even touching myself and I’m not physically ‘aroused’ (I.e. I’m soft)

The good thing is that I’ve been able to exit the pages and haven’t masturbated, but I’ve been really scared of spontaneously emitting

...and have fallen into ‘holes’ of looking at stuff (without masturbating)

Been having some problems recently, been able to avoid looking for internet porn but have come across sexual content on Twitter...

'A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.' We pick ourselves up and go again

But we build back up again and keep going, still proud of myself for managing to not masturbate or seek out 'proper' internet porn

Feeling pretty down cos feeling like you don't have control over your own bodily functions is a horrible feeling

But when I went back on my phone I fell back into the trap and spontaneously emitted

Fell into the same trap today and managed to exit and calm myself down cos I felt like I was going to spontaneously emit

Started falling down a slippery slope of viewing sexual content on twitter, was able to avoid masturbating but was not a good decision

Been a tough few days, had a lot of urges to PMO but have managed not to, but the amount of sexual content on twitter has made it hard

Since starting my reboot I've felt a lot less control physiologically, I've had wet dreams (I started PMO early so this is new for me) and

And at points this year but with porn, can someone shed a light on what is happening to me and how to help because it's so upsetting

And ended up having a panic attack and feeling very suicidal because a similar occurence has happened to me last year

And I ended up spontaneously emitting. I didn't touch myself at and I really didn't want for that to happen, I felt so terrible afterwards

And it's been going well, but yesterday I went on this person's instagram to 'confirm' (compulsively check regarding wanting them sexually)

And I've really been working on it because obvs you can't look at people constantly because it will make them feel uncomfortable/unsafe

And so I will either repeatedly look back at them or if on social media click back on their profile, obviously this is not a healthy or okay

So yesterday had a bad day, I suffer from OCD and one of my compulsions is repeatedly checking to see if I want someone in a sexual sense.