rageishere71

I'm a guy starting my 30's, in a same-sex marriage, and ready to start a new life.

I've been struggling with my sexuality since I was a kid. I started consuming porn when I was very, very young as the early to mid 90's gave way to a plethora of porn options available to anyone with a dial-up connection.

Aside from being enticingly 'forbidden,' porn was, during my younger years, the only way for me to learn about my sexuality-- about being gay and being with other guys. Even before I had my first kiss I had already seen too many porn images.

When I finally reached adulthood, I was free to enjoy a world of sexual encounters. I always wanted more and more sex, just like I'd seen it in porn. Of course I was never satisfied and always felt guilty.

I never thought I would be the cheating kind, but when I was 21, I cheated on my boyfriend for the first time and this caused us to break up. I tortured myself for a long time for this and found myself unable to stop seeking sexual encounters. It was a cycle of sexual act, then guilt/depression, then another sexual act.

Fast forward to my marriage-- something I never thought possible. I was actually able to find someone who'd love me, but I fucked it up. I simply could not stop. Incredibly, my husband forgave me. I have, however, hurt him so much and caused way too much pain. I am ready to change and I'm glad there's a community that can help me do that.