I like the new design of the website. Also I am trying to read on some philosophy in order to achieve my goal of becoming free of porn and my addiction to it.
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Every few days I relapse. I struggle to not give in to my urges, even if they are not really strong. Porn is poison for my brain, literally.
The last months weren't successful in terms of nofap. I fapped almost daily, my porn induced fetishes are strong again. I don't want this.
I had a 7 week streak. On monday I m'ed for 2h without o. I had to reset cuz in my experience not resetting leads to a motivational erosion.
After day 13 I relapsed again. It seems like the two week mark is a very difficult time for me. I need to be aware of this in the future.
I made it to 15 days. Yesterday something interesting happened: My GF wanted to see some porn together. What a bad idea :/ Today I relapsed
My last relapses had a thing in common: Seeing a hot woman online followed by strong urges. Once fapping, images of hot women don't suffice.
Porn got me today, three times. I again noticed that this was rooted in my addiction, not actual desire.
I relapsed again but this time without a sexual desire. After post nut clarity hit, I realized that it was just an urge. Solely addiction
I made it to a week. I realize that every relapse does not only reset my counter, but also diminishes my progress overall.
As the year started, I thought a little porn wouldn't hurt. Man I was wrong. After a few days I found myself in a bad dopamine spiral again.
Until the end of this year I will abstain from PMO to finally have less pervert thoughts on my mind throughout my day.
I failed again, but I will try to keep the urges from my mind and find something else to do instead of pmo.
I sadly have to reset my timer now after 27 days. So the goal of 30 days still stands.
I want to regain control over my urges. My goal is to reach 30 days again. Maybe I can break my record of 246 days in this attempt.
I didn't know it was that hard to resist urges after relapsing to p. Every day will likely be a struggle from now on.
I relapsed, this time to porn. I really need to focus on my work and put all sexual energy into my relationship.
Still need to figure out a good way to distract me from urges when I feel down.
I noticed that when I feel bad, I get strong urges. I need to find a way to distract me to other things my addict brain is craving.
Lateley I was struggeling with premature orgasm. Thought that masturbation would help. I ended up edging for hours. What a waste of my time.
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