SirErnest

Again today, some calm focus. Carried the later semi-misery quite well. Something is happening. Happy Friday folks.

Two periods of excellent focus today. Things really dropped off after the second one, but nice to experience it. Maybe things are on the up.

Hopeful after physio session. Pain prevents me from doing some things that improve my life.

Felt reasonable for a lot of today, and I think the aerobic/core exercise, healthy food, hydration, rest and meditation are super important.

Here's to the better you: arriving soon to a NoFap theatre near us all :)

So, I drink Saturdays and next day relapse to an extent then stop myself. I need not just a better system but a better life.

Well done to South Africa on their rugby world cup win. That's a bunch of men that know what work means.

Yup, another week done. Flashes of control/confidence/contentment. Let's see what happens. I remain of the opinion that I can be better.

Good periods of focus today. The negatives came but I could overcome. Even a small feeling of control and power.

Nice line I've just read on wanking/porn: 'There is nothing to go back to'. Very true.

The 'I can't' voice is central to any exercise I do. It happens every time, and then I simply stand up and do it anyway.

3 things that drive me ATM: 1) Vague idea of a better me; 2) I can do it; 3) I have to do it.

Some calm, concentrated periods of work today plus feeling somewhat close to tears later. And that damned internal ranting. New day tomorrow

Tried to simply observe and accept the barrage of emotions/fantasies/memories (most non-sexual) today at work, whilst working. Tough.

Cold shower tip: stand straight, breath normally, close the eyes and accept that shock exploding across the skin. Don't fight it.

Didn't want that run, but I did it and feel about 30% better now.

Bombarded by internal ranting and some suicidal thoughts at work this evening, but I kept breathing and focusing. Therapy may be a good idea

Monday. Let's do it again. Not feeling super but doing what needs to be done.

Drunken tears last night, and quite sad today but made it through the weekend without touching or looking.

New minor spasms in new side muscles. Beginning to think that my body is taking charge on the booze front. I guess I can be better.