SirErnest

Fapstronaut, Male, from Bristol ish.

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Yesterday was good, today one big panic attack and depression. Cruel people sense it and attack. It was tough, but I am tougher. May 22, 2020 at 12:04 PM

1. SirErnest
  Some flashes of being ok with my struggles at the moment. It has to be done, so do it.
  
  Jan 23, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, Meisterkatze and 3 others like this.
2. SirErnest
  Ten days of no touching today. Didn't feel good but tried to ignore that crap and get on with it. Self control and pretending won.
  
  Jan 22, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, Coffee Candy and 3 others like this.
3. SirErnest
  I'm now 40+, but suspect that the main issues are from childhood and/or genetics. We can't improve unless we need/want to.
  
  Jan 17, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, Muphy and 3 others like this.
  2. View previous comments...
  3. SirErnest
    Hopefully your childhood was super. Maybe just access to P etc? It's a big moment when we see extravagant P as a teen. I just think it was a thrill in an otherwise unhappy life for me.
    
    Jan 17, 2020
    
    | Nico |, |DEKU|, Muphy and 1 other person like this.
  4. IAmLegion
    Yeah. Most of it, anyway. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that no matter how many friends i make, I have always preferred isolation. That's my working theory for now.
    
    Jan 17, 2020
    
    | Nico |, Muphy and |Gon| like this.
  5. SirErnest
    Isolation can be ok. It depends on country, where in country, genes maybe. And there are different phases in one's life. Keep it simple: do the overall best thing for now..
    
    Jan 17, 2020
    
    | Nico |, |DEKU|, Muphy and 2 others like this.
4. SirErnest
  It took about 6 weeks of depression and anxiety to get over my former marijuana problem. I should remember that with PMO and booze.
  
  Jan 17, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, icebreaker polarstern and 2 others like this.
  2. SirErnest
    Although I have found that when I have taken two weeks off booze, I feel ok. PMO? We shall see
    
    Jan 17, 2020
    
    | Nico |, |DEKU|, |Gon| and 1 other person like this.
5. SirErnest
  A slow decline into bland depression today, but luckily a couple of moments of beauty. I did the helpful things.
  
  Jan 17, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, Coffee Candy and 3 others like this.
6. SirErnest
  Controlled the depression today. Worked hard and pretended. Looking forward to a little exercise and meditation in the morning.
  
  Jan 16, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, icebreaker polarstern and 3 others like this.
  2. LanaDelRey
    Crushing it Ernest. You got this. I always enjoy reading your status updates
    
    Jan 16, 2020
    
    | Nico |, SirErnest and |Gon| like this.
  3. |Gon|
    Good SirErnest! I didn't know you have depression, Hope it get better with the passing of the days.
    
    Jan 16, 2020
    
    | Nico |, Coffee Candy and SirErnest like this.
  4. SirErnest
    Depression, anxiety, some anger. All there, but we don't have to let those things define us.
    
    Jan 17, 2020
    
    | Nico |, |DEKU|, Coffee Candy and 1 other person like this.
7. SirErnest
  Controlled my medium-level panic attacks today. All day. Told myself there was no other option. Act normal..
  
  Jan 15, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, |Gon| and 2 others like this.
  2. Deleted Account
    Yea you always survive it no matter what, its just a panic attack it will come and it will go. Best to just act normal and go about your day.
    
    Jan 15, 2020
    
    | Nico |, |Gon| and SirErnest like this.
8. SirErnest
  If you feel stuck in a repetitive cycle, at least you're trying to get out of it. Small steps, but they must be done.
  
  Jan 14, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, |Gon| and 6 others like this.
  2. Coffee Candy
    A good reminder
    
    Jan 18, 2020
    
    | Nico |, |Gon|, SirErnest and 1 other person like this.
9. SirErnest
  Seems unlikely: https://talksport.com/sport/boxing/655302/tyson-fury-masturbating-deontay-wilder/
  
  Jan 14, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU| and |Gon| like this.
  2. SirErnest
    It doesn't refer to masturbating his opponent, as the link might suggest.
    
    Jan 14, 2020
    
    | Nico |, |DEKU| and |Gon| like this.
  3. IAmLegion
    This is also mentioned:
    
    " ahead of the big fight, the 31-year-old said: “I’m doing a lot of things I didn’t before." "
    
    That said, we can safely say that this is simply innovation on his part.
    Just because it doesn't suit us doesn't mean it's not applicable for others living completely different lifestyles.
    
    Even so, it's moreso a trial than an established routine for this guy.
    
    Jan 14, 2020
    
    |Gon| likes this.
  4. SirErnest
    The "I'm doing a lot of things...' might also be just psychological, including lying. Who knows! What we need is scientific studies (with twins) to find out the facts on this topic. Personally I don't feel like fighting after cracking one (or 7) out.
    
    Jan 14, 2020
    
    | Nico |, |DEKU| and |Gon| like this.
10. SirErnest
  Weekend dips into edging becoming less and I now bounce back quicker, especially with exercise, diet and meditation. Need to now fix this.
  
  Jan 13, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, |Gon| and 2 others like this.
11. SirErnest
  Ask yourself: 'Is this behaviour helpful?'. Both yes and no are powerful things to be aware of.
  
  Jan 13, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, |Gon| and 2 others like this.
  2. FlashgordonsApe
    True. Weird thing with answer yes is to recognize "Yes, this is helpful, it benefits me" and still not doing it on a regular basis... Why?
    
    Jan 15, 2020
    
    | Nico | and |Gon| like this.
12. SirErnest
  Some half-hearted edging today alas. Rebuilding from NOW.
  
  Jan 12, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, Coffee Candy and 1 other person like this.
13. SirErnest
  My only note to myself today was about the (small) positives. They are the hand-holds on the mountain. Kind of a mental trick on myself.
  
  Jan 10, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, |Gon| and 3 others like this.
14. SirErnest
  Work week done. 1 or 2 hour periods daily of confidence and focus. People really do react differently. #AURA
  
  Jan 10, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, Meisterkatze and 2 others like this.
15. SirErnest
  Trying to note the positives more. So, today I had a calm and focused 2-hour period at work, ate ok and did some exercise and meditation.
  
  Jan 9, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, Coffee Candy and 2 others like this.
  2. SirErnest
    That's it. Why add 'but x, y, and z were bad'?
    
    Jan 9, 2020
    
    | Nico |, |DEKU|, Coffee Candy and 1 other person like this.
  3. Deleted Account
    Today I noticed I came out my my depression for a moment and I was happy talking about somthing I prevesouly noted to remember to put on my graditued list, and I know if I never noted it the conversation would have ended much quicker and I would have only felt slight pleasure for a second and I would forget about it.
    
    Jan 9, 2020
    
    | Nico |, Meisterkatze and SirErnest like this.
16. SirErnest
  My physio told me the best exercise to counteract the negative effects of sitting too much is to stand up! So I'm standing right now. Easy.
  
  Jan 9, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, Coffee Candy and 1 other person like this.
17. SirErnest
  Great quote: 'Pmo was once an escape from my life. Then my life became an escape from pmo. And now my life is just my life.'
  
  Jan 9, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, Coffee Candy and 1 other person like this.
  2. Coffee Candy
    It is great
    
    Jan 14, 2020
    
    | Nico | and SirErnest like this.
18. SirErnest
  Work today: 'I can't do this' was weak, but 'I don't like this' was strong. Neither of them won.
  
  Jan 8, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, Coffee Candy and 3 others like this.
19. SirErnest
  18-254 days. https://www.bbc.co.uk/ideas/videos/why-new-habits-are-so-hard-to-stick-to/p07zqc7w
  
  Jan 8, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, Sammyforthewin and 1 other person like this.
20. SirErnest
  Video chat with a sexy friend on Saturday, peek at P on Sunday. Now feel confused and even teary. Exercise, meditation, diet, rest, work..
  
  Jan 7, 2020
  1. | Nico |, |DEKU|, Coffee Candy and 1 other person like this.
  2. SirErnest
    And abstinence!
    
    Jan 7, 2020
    
    | Nico |, |DEKU|, Coffee Candy and 1 other person like this.
  3. icebreaker polarstern
    accept that we have these feelings and the sexy friend or similar situations can easily make us loose our balance. But we don't need to flee into pmo. Just stay with the feeling.
    
    Jan 18, 2020
    
    | Nico | likes this.
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