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August 21


Fapstronaut, Male, from Japan

feel relieved Oct 21, 2019

TellentLeaf was last seen:
Nov 12, 2019
    1. TellentLeaf
      feel relieved
      1. Meisterkatze, Muphy and JamesSullivan like this.
    2. TellentLeaf
      After deleting, my urge is definitely reduced at present. I don't feel any urged in the situation I felt. It's nice for me.
      1. Meisterkatze and JamesSullivan like this.
    3. TellentLeaf
      Recently, it may be weird but I try to get urged by using all my imagination even when I don't have the urge
      1. Meisterkatze, Muphy and JamesSullivan like this.
    4. TellentLeaf
      I try to reduce. If I want to, I go to Nofap site and recover my balanced mind
      1. Meisterkatze, Muphy and JamesSullivan like this.
    5. TellentLeaf
      And dear future me, please remember if you get back, this decision is from temporaly urge, so you'll get them out again!
    6. TellentLeaf
      Done. Dear Future me. Don't get these movies back please.
    7. TellentLeaf
      This try freaks me out.
    8. TellentLeaf
      And I'm also trying to delete rest of purchesed Japanese porn movies. these movies are so expensive and I can't download again. Haha.
    9. TellentLeaf
      Log: I deleted 856 porn videos(about 1TB) and 88,000 pictures(so many because there are each collections). Big numbers haha
    10. TellentLeaf
      I hesitate to say, but I masturbate more than 10 times almost every day. What wrong with me? Haha. Like women. Endless orgasm if I start
      1. Meisterkatze and spaces like this.
    11. TellentLeaf
      Done. So sad. Thank you so far. Tera Bites friends. Haha
      1. Meisterkatze and spaces like this.
    12. TellentLeaf
      Thank you videos. you healed me a lot. But I have to let you go.
      1. Meisterkatze and spaces like this.
    13. TellentLeaf
      Since then, my life was changed a lot(activity, work, mental), but my porn days become bigger. I want to manage and reduce this life.
      1. Meisterkatze, spaces and Roady like this.
    14. TellentLeaf
      I'm realizing I need to recover my patience about everything at some point.
      1. Meisterkatze and spaces like this.
    15. TellentLeaf
      I'm back. Long time no see. I'm thinking whether I delete more than 1TB videos. Haha I spent many times to make the collections and watching
    16. Deleted Account
      Deleted Account
      merry xmas my japanese friend. hope u decide to visit again sometime in the future. tc.
      1. Sammyforthewin and spaces like this.
    17. Deleted Account
      Deleted Account
      hey ! my japanese brother ! how r u ? i see u have not been here for a long time. i hope u r doing fine. wud love to see u back here.
      good luck with whatever u are up to these days.
      stay mindful, stay strong.
    18. Deleted Account
      Deleted Account
      Hey mate! how are you doing?
      1. TellentLeaf and Deleted Account like this.
      2. TellentLeaf
        Thank you. I'm glad to receive your message and your Nofap success! I'm fine, and my apathy is gradually decreasing. The outing also increased. There's no big change, but my heart is calm. I'm keen on reading philosophical books(Nietzsche, Svendsen)

        However, I am not doing a Nofap challenge right now.
        So I try not to post.
        Still I'm praying for the success of my friends here and very happy to hear from you.
        Jun 29, 2018
        Deleted Account likes this.
    19. Deleted Account
      Deleted Account
      Hello mate! Good to see you back. How are you doing? Hope that you are fighting for this beautiful life :)
      1. Deleted Account
        Deleted Account
        Let him be alone @Rajat Kumar
        He is in a phase that'll make him or break him...
        I think he is best left alone...
        He is not going to give up nor is he going to fight... That's the exact place where life changing decisions are made...

        @tellentJP whatever you decide will define you... I'll be waiting to see the outcome of this dilemma of yours and so will be Rajat
        May 26, 2018
      2. Deleted Account
        Deleted Account
        I didn't read what he had written on the wall. @tellentJP mate, I am certain you have a plan though I would have loved it if you had been here giving this a try and setting up streak while realizing your life and goals.
        @MuscularSherlockHolmes rightly said brother. He must have come to certain conclusions. I would pray he gets what he desires.

        All the best brother! (@tellentJP)
        May 26, 2018
        TellentLeaf and Rising Sun !! like this.
    20. TellentLeaf
      Long time no see. I'm stopping the challenge. However, I'm fine. I don't know if this is a belief for dependence. But I do not care much.
      1. A leaf, falafu, Roady and 4 others like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Deleted Account
        Deleted Account
        Each to their own way. It is important for one to be so aware that to know whether or not that the ego is lying to himself or illogically rationalizing a specific philosophy in order to fit in to their own perceived weaknesses. Whether it be lust or lack of will power. I hope not. And that this is truly for the sake of optimism.
        May 26, 2018
      4. TellentLeaf
        Thank you for good opinion.
        A good claim, but I don't understand your intention.If it is about good and evil, I'm not choosing to like you.
        My sense of optimism is equal to that which psychologist Seligman defines.

        What is differnce between two things?
        Why is it important to notice either of these categories?
        May 26, 2018
      5. Deleted Account
        Deleted Account
        Whatever you decide... After long deliberation... Is right for you... No need to listen to the world... If it makes you satisfied or justified... Do it...
        No judgement... No hatred... Only respect... And support
        May 26, 2018
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  • About

    August 21
    Journal Thread Link:
    View my Journal
    Hello Nofap, everyone.
    I'm 24y / o man in Japan. PMO challenging now(4/8).1 relapsed.

    I will tell you about me according to the official recommended topics.
    To make you interested in me even a little, you can only read where you want to read.

    How long I have been using porn-12years
    Since I was 7 years old, porn magazine was familiar. I sneaked into my father's room with lots of porn magazine and was reading them.

    And at the age of 12, serious porn dependence began. I have a cell phone. I do not know myself for 12 years I was released from pornography.

    Now, I become to masturbate seven times and ten times a day. I can do it three times in thiry minutes.

    The impact pornography use has had on my life
    - Especially No energy and Addiction

    I have many things I wanted to do. I have a hope.

    However, at the same time I was lethargic and behaving suspicious, and I was anxious. I was often misunderstood about my character by other people.

    I rejected consciously being able to do relationships.

    I was unable to sleep unless I had to masturbate (for years). I could not sleep on a day when I did not masturbate.

    It was so annoying to build a relationship with a woman.
    And I always gave it up on the way.

    My head was full of PORN.
    All the pain, discomfort, and stress were diverged with Porn Masturbation.
    I also masturbated many times on the go.

    I had little in a year to think that the psychological problem I had was caused by pornography.

    Because Porn Masturbation was a pleasant experience. Even though a feeling of apathy later struck, I felt good and I could not quit.

    Up to now I could abstain of Porn Masturbation in three weeks when I went homestay in America about 10 years ago .

    And it was 8 days last year that I decided Nofap strongly once.

    After relapse, I was not sure of my resolve and my state at that time.

    Instead I felt the lust with masturbation.

    However, last year's Nofap Challenge, I gained valuable experience .

    I gained valuable experience of betting every day to Nofap.
    Even if I failed Nofap and my days were wasted.

    And I started noticing that I was pointing my energy to pornography.

    Why I have decided to quit using porn-
    The Time has come. I Regain the initiative of my life

    Because the time has come. To regain the initiative of life.

    I decided Nofap this time because I clearly thought that opening up from porn might lead to solving the problems that I had over the years.
    And I cleary decided to invest in my time to become free from porn.

    I became depressed and spent a lot of days I couldn't move.

    It took me a while to change myself from that state, but changed my way of life, changed my eating habits and changed my residence.

    However, I definitely did not solve my lethargy or fragility.

    And only myself who has not changed and only pornographic addiction remained.

    Just before Nofap, I was masturbating while saying "I am doing what I am. Please help me."

    I changed my way of living, changed my eating habits, changed my residence.
    There were lots of things I wanted to do and I had a desire to restart my life. I wanted to bloom my talent. However, the body does not move with lethargy.

    And I put the time I can use for myself in masturbation.

    When I fell down to despair as I fell down, a strong determination for Nofap was born in my heart.

    When I felt a strong desperation I had the characteristic that I strongly thought I would go forward.

    And I thought seriously how to achieve Nofap.

    There were individual differences in the spirit, I thought that Nofap could not be realized just by fighting.

    I was convinced that "Well understanding 'pornography addiction and brain' " was a means to solve the Nofap that I had challenged and could not clear.

    And as I became healthy by changing my habitation, I came to access information around the world in English.

    For me who is a Japanese who uses mother tongue for everyday language and learning, Internet in English wasn't familiar.

    There are lot of The rich, logical and scientific information what I am exactly looking for.

    Let me introduce a book that has become impudent to access overseas information.

    "Energy and Eros Teaching on the Art of Love
    James Newton Powell"

    I did not know it at all before, but it became a book that gives us awareness that "Eros is the driving force of people."
    Semen is a symbol of energy in ancient India and China. In China it seems there was an idea that women are not deprived of energy by not sperm out. It was scales from the eyes.

    "The Compass of Pleasure"

    It scientifically states that all pleasures and dependence are problems of the brain.
    And this year I could not be satisfied with the information in Japan, and for the first time I caught a foreign book, I got to know the value of deepening my understanding of my porn addict.


    The first book that accessed overseas information of porn addiction. This book has recognized this problem well in the world, handled carefully, and taught me what is being discussed well.

    And now I think that understanding the porno addiction and deep understanding of the NoFap community is the key to rebooting.

    I am endowed with three opportunities to recognize the porn addiction problem, resolve to quit porn, and access the appropriate information well.

    Time has matured.

    To regain my life.

    Finally - I find AP and I'm waiting for your message.

    I do not think Porn and PORNOSTARs themselves are evil .
    They themselves are shining and they are very beautiful.

    But commercially,There are aspects that the Internet PORNO industryabnormally stimulate us and creates sexual desire, hopes that we will get addiction, regardless of our health status, and they realize these.

    And I think that this is not a mechanism that all people can endure.

    Especially I sensitive to pornography, I need an understanding of advanced PORN technologies and ADDICTION in particular.

    I understand Nofap does not criticize people who do not force or practice to someone who fap and relapse.
    But I aware that it is an individual fight.

    I am looking for an understandable accountability partner regardless of gender.

    I find AP who Respect each other's challenge and mind and change the NoFap days to a good day.

    I am challenging 30 days now, but I will continue my reboot and set new goals each time I clear it.

    If you can sympathize with me, if you are interested, please give me a message.

    I do not know myself free from porn for 12 years.

    "My life may change" This is my hope, the hope always saves me.

    When I masturbate in pornography, I am satisfied at that time, I feel loneliness even though I am lonely.

    I want to be a person who accept loneliness.

    Thank you for reading;)