+TenPercent

Fapstronaut

Day 43 - Sick for 6 days now. This sucks. Surprisingly low arousal, then high!, as the mind wanders and wants to escape this drudgery. Jan 24, 2020 at 11:23 AM

+TenPercent was last seen:: Viewing thread I’ve Ruined Our Sex Life, Jan 24, 2020 at 12:39 PM

1. +TenPercent
  Day 1 - Wary of how my release can set me up for isolation and another relapse. Focusing on healing, socialisation and love to get through.
  
  Apr 30, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Sammyforthewin and MuscularSherlockHolmes like this.
2. +TenPercent
  Day 0. Ugh. 125 days without a release and then . . . and now confusion sets in. Not sure I would call it an orgasm, but now what?
  
  Apr 29, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy and Sammyforthewin like this.
  2. Coffee Candy
    lets get up together shall we. congratulations on your day 1(won)
    
    Apr 30, 2019
    
    +TenPercent likes this.
3. +TenPercent
  Day 125 - more optimistic and easy-going today :) But, I also touched a little last night. Struggling with unexpected surges of arousal.
  
  Apr 29, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Sammyforthewin and White Sheep like this.
4. +TenPercent
  Day 124 - feeling more grounded today. Open-minded and more willing to connect with people. :)
  
  Apr 28, 2019
  1. SweetTransformation, spaces, Basith and 3 others like this.
5. +TenPercent
  Day 123 - not as easy as 1,2,3. Coming up on my all time record (129 days) and really struggling with arousal and urges right now . . .
  
  Apr 27, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Sammyforthewin and MuscularSherlockHolmes like this.
  2. MuscularSherlockHolmes
    Hold on... Don't let the demons trick you!
    
    Apr 27, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy, Sammyforthewin, +TenPercent and 1 other person like this.
6. +TenPercent
  Day 122 - 1/3 of a year!! In a funk. Was on the go 14 1/2 hours yesterday. Had dark chocolate and decaf coffee for dinner.
  
  Apr 26, 2019
  1. Sammyforthewin, Coffee Candy and SweetTransformation like this.
  2. View previous comments...
  3. SweetTransformation
    I guess the desire for sexual activity is something that is deeply ingrained in most humans which is why the desire is so strong. I understand that feeling because sometimes it's stronger than ever especially when you've gone so long without it.
    
    Apr 27, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy, +TenPercent and Sammyforthewin like this.
  4. SweetTransformation
    However, it just shows you have keep your guard up whether or not you feel an urge. Sometimes there's a build up to it. Maybe there was a picture you saw...But you can do this you've come a long way!
    
    Apr 27, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy, +TenPercent and Sammyforthewin like this.
  5. +TenPercent
    Thank you @SweetTransformation for the understanding and support. Yes, sometimes it feels like I have 4 months of pent up sexual energy that's going to find a release whether I like it or not!
    I need to channel that into something else . . .
    
    Apr 27, 2019
    
    SweetTransformation and Coffee Candy like this.
7. +TenPercent
  "To cultivate self control in respect to the seminal crisis, but neglect it in other sexual indulgences . . .
  
  Apr 25, 2019
  2. +TenPercent
    is evidently Male Continence in a spurious and dangerous form." - John Humphrey Noyes (1872) Wow! This describes my challenge so well! How easily I can stumble in just this way, fooling myself with irrational ideas that as long as I don't orgasm, then porn, fantasy, edging, and any other arousal-generating behaviours are fair game. What a slippery slope that is! And what a terrible way to sell myself short.
    
    Apr 25, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy likes this.
8. +TenPercent
  Day 120 - today didn't go as expected, but somehow I was able to just "roll with it" pretty well! :)
  
  Apr 24, 2019
  1. Deleted Account, LEPAGE, Coffee Candy and 1 other person like this.
  2. Coffee Candy
    Nice attitude!!
    
    Apr 24, 2019
    
    Deleted Account and +TenPercent like this.
9. +TenPercent
  Day 119 - surprisingly content and peaceful today, feels so good! :) But also struggling w/ arousal like I haven't experienced in many days.
  
  Apr 23, 2019
  1. SweetTransformation, spaces, Sammyforthewin and 5 others like this.
  2. Coffee Candy
    Keep going!! :+) your attitudes on trackk
    
    Apr 23, 2019
    
    spaces, Sammyforthewin, Deleted Account and 2 others like this.
10. +TenPercent
  Day 118 - and day 2 off of chocolate and decaf. Trying to be conscious of how I eat mindlessly to change the way I feel . .and I feel awful!
  
  Apr 22, 2019
  1. SweetTransformation, Basith, Sammyforthewin and 2 others like this.
  2. View previous comments...
  3. +TenPercent
    I wish I knew! As an addict, I want to feel good all the time. Trying to change that. I try to do all the right things - eat well, get lots of sleep, (try to) reduce stress, yoga, meditation . . . and it's incredibly frustrating on days when I feel run down and broken.
    
    I just ate a few pieces of chocolate and felt energy and optimism again . . . so I'm sure that says something.
    
    Apr 22, 2019
    
    Sammyforthewin and Coffee Candy like this.
  4. Coffee Candy
    I don't know what to say :/
    Chocolate can make a person happy..
    but I get what you're saying, you don't want to feel dependent on that. Maybe you could have days for when you can have some chocolate and use it as a reward system lol..
    
    Apr 22, 2019
    
    +TenPercent and Sammyforthewin like this.
  5. +TenPercent
    I haven't been able to quit porn or caffeine perfectly, but with years of effort, both have been drastically reduced! :)
    This is my first attempt at getting chocolate under control . . . so yes, having it as a special treat might be an option and only having 6 squares today might count as step in the right direction! :D
    
    Apr 22, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy likes this.
11. +TenPercent
  Day 117 - Easter. Worked more so that others could have the day off. Exhausted. Heavy rain and lots of traffic. Today sucked.
  
  Apr 21, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Meisterkatze, Deleted Account and 1 other person like this.
  2. Coffee Candy
    that was sweet of you. i hope you're having a better day today
    
    Apr 22, 2019
    
    +TenPercent likes this.
12. +TenPercent
  Day 116 - Today's plan: 3 hour hike. Felt down and too tired to go :( Then, flash storm. Good thing I never went! Short hike this evening.
  
  Apr 20, 2019
  1. Sammyforthewin, Meisterkatze, Basith and 2 others like this.
13. Coffee Candy
  Good job on 115 days meeting your goals! Stay fighting. I hope you have a good weekend, +10% :+)
  
  Apr 19, 2019
  1. Deleted Account, Meisterkatze, Sammyforthewin and 3 others like this.
14. +TenPercent
  Day 115 - Made it! Next challenge: Appt w/ female doctor (triggering) to discuss testosterone levels. I do NOT want to go on T-therapy.
  
  Apr 19, 2019
  1. Basith, Coffee Candy, Sammyforthewin and 1 other person like this.
  2. +TenPercent
    Testosterone at 254 ng/Dl . . . BOOM!! Technically still low, but that's the highest it's ever been. :) Next test will be higher. I'm going to crush this.
    
    Apr 19, 2019
    
    007malone likes this.
15. +TenPercent
  Day 114 - long day, very difficult feelings. I want to O so bad!! But I won't, employing a device and bingeing on coffee instead. No O today
  
  Apr 18, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Sammyforthewin, Meisterkatze and 4 others like this.
16. +TenPercent
  Day 113 - felt mostly at peace and connected today. So grateful for 90+ days without orgasm and convinced that I'm on the right path!
  
  Apr 17, 2019
  1. PolarOtter, LEPAGE, Basith and 3 others like this.
17. Coffee Candy
  Thanks for the followww, +10%! :)
  
  Apr 16, 2019
  1. GonTheHunter, Sammyforthewin, Deleted Account and 1 other person like this.
  2. +TenPercent
    And thank you for your follow, Sprinkles. I need all the support that I can get!
    
    Apr 16, 2019
    
    GonTheHunter, Sammyforthewin, Deleted Account and 1 other person like this.
18. +TenPercent
  Day 112 - Had a dream that I had a wet dream last night . . . but it was just a dream! Still, having a very difficult day.
  
  Apr 16, 2019
  1. GonTheHunter, Sammyforthewin and Coffee Candy like this.
19. +TenPercent
  Day 111 - Pretty grouchy at work today . . . so I left! :D Have a few extra hours now - an opportunity to make for a better tomorrow.
  
  Apr 15, 2019
  1. Basith, spaces, Coffee Candy and 3 others like this.
  2. Deleted Account
    111 what a nice number, Congratz!
    
    Apr 15, 2019
    
    spaces, Coffee Candy, Sammyforthewin and 3 others like this.
  3. +TenPercent
    Agreed. It's hard to see that number and not reflect on Day 1. So incredibly grateful to have made it this far!
    
    Apr 15, 2019
    
    spaces, Coffee Candy, Sammyforthewin and 2 others like this.
20. +TenPercent
  Day 110 - hit the gym, worked for 10+ hours, went to SLAA meeting. Exhausted.
  
  Apr 14, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Meisterkatze, Sammyforthewin and 2 others like this.
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Wanting to save ALL of my sexual energy for my girlfriend. No M, and def no P!
Zero (of 2) unauthorized voluntary releases in 2020: (1/4, 1/14) vs 5 (of 18) in 2019: (4/29, 9/10, 10/8, 10/8, 10/13, 10/16, 11/2, 11/6, 11/8, 11/13, 11/30, 12/2, 12/8, 12/8, 12/11, 12/12, 12/19, 12/20), 40 (of 43) in 2018 and 82 (of 82) in 2017.
Haven't really jerked off since 12/23/2017. Wet dreams in bold, partial releases underlined, unauthorized voluntary releases (AKA M) in red.
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