+TenPercent

Fapstronaut

Day 110 - anxiety was so bad yesterday that I KNEW that I would masturbate. I just had to. And yet here I am, another day free of M! :) Mar 31, 2020 at 9:03 PM

+TenPercent was last seen:: Mar 31, 2020 at 10:41 PM

1. +TenPercent
  Day 26 - purged porn yesterday, slept like a baby last night. Having a good day today.
  
  May 25, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Loving Loveless, Deleted Account and 2 others like this.
2. +TenPercent
  Day 25 - barely survived last night . .and barely slept. My words for today are "Progress" and "Process". Need to go through my own process.
  
  May 24, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Loving Loveless, Deleted Account and 5 others like this.
  2. +TenPercent
    Clarification on "Process": I have tremendous respect for people who quit porn cold turkey. One guy I knew filled a van with his collection and took it all to the dump.
    That hasn't been my process. I have been giving it up in small steps for years.
    I'm down to about 10 recorded videos now. Haven't watched any in years, but throwing them away?? I'm working on that.
    
    May 24, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy, Loving Loveless and Deleted Account like this.
  3. +TenPercent
    Wow, that first post seems so long ago. No wonder I am so sleepy!
    Had a great day. Told my trainer about my S addiction.
    Sold almost all of my (mostly sexy) comics.
    (watched and) Destroyed 5 DVDs, 2 VHS.
    
    May 24, 2019
    
    Loving Loveless likes this.
3. +TenPercent
  Day 24 - tempted to watch and destroy the last of my video porn (VHS & DVDs) . . . as if it may be the only way I can let it go. Last hurrah
  
  May 23, 2019
  1. Loving Loveless and Deleted Account like this.
  2. +TenPercent
    Maybe tomorrow. Idk. Destroyed one VHS tape without watching it. Tried to tackle one magazine. The non-nude back cover is too much for me to part with but I thought if I could just tear the cover off and shred it, I might be more willing to trash the whole thing. But then I saw the inside of the back cover (full penetration, etc.) and it was too much. I can't do it :(
    And now I'm wound up. Ugh.
    
    May 24, 2019
    
    Loving Loveless and Deleted Account like this.
4. +TenPercent
  Day 23 - wanting to purge my porn collection, but also feel on the verge of slipping. Old man told me "Easy Does It" (relax, no M tonight)
  
  May 22, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Rising Sun !!, Loving Loveless and 2 others like this.
  2. TrafficSignal
    For god sake get rid of that shit..it is almost month
    
    May 23, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy, +TenPercent, Rising Sun !! and 2 others like this.
5. +TenPercent
  Day 21 - struggled with sexual feelings today but after 4 straight hours of recovery this evening I'm too tired to do anything but go to bed
  
  May 21, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Loving Loveless, on_a_mission4truth and 5 others like this.
6. +TenPercent
  Day 20 - still going strong. My desire for sexual release isn't there so much, but my desire for female companionship is hitting me hard!
  
  May 19, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Loving Loveless, Meisterkatze and 1 other person like this.
7. +TenPercent
  Day 19 - survived day 18, felt lazy all day but went to 2 meetings (incl. first SA). Asked a man in AA to be my sponsor. So . . . good day.
  
  May 18, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Loving Loveless, spaces and 3 others like this.
8. +TenPercent
  Day 18 - kind of feel like my b***s might burst. I love having less porn but need to be careful of what I see and imagine as I throw it away
  
  May 17, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Loving Loveless and TrafficSignal like this.
  2. +TenPercent
    Eek, feel like I'm going to cum any minute!! Tried a cold shower, prayer. Last time I felt like this (4/29), I tried using a chastity device and ejaculated while trying to put it on. Ugh. This feeling is getting stronger instead of going away . . . time for the Panic Button.
    
    May 17, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy and Loving Loveless like this.
  3. +TenPercent
    Using the chastity device, darn it. I was really hoping I could get through without the device. Made it 18 days, at least. Just praying that I can get through this without a release!
    
    May 17, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy and Loving Loveless like this.
9. +TenPercent
  Day 17 - threw out 20 DVDs yesterday and 5 more today. Struck me (hard) today that my cuckold fantasies are slipping away. I choose LOVE. :)
  
  May 16, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Loving Loveless, Meisterkatze and 1 other person like this.
10. +TenPercent
  Day 16 - People think I'm crazy. I know I'm crazy. I need this. I am HUNGRY for an orgasm-free life, one filled with meaningful connection.
  
  May 15, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, spaces and Deleted Account like this.
11. +TenPercent
  Day 15 (PM) - long day but good. It takes so much work to get well and it's keeping me busy. Worth it. Deleted 19 images today off my phone.
  
  May 14, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, spaces, Deleted Account and 1 other person like this.
  2. Deleted Account
    Congrats on completing 2 weeks man! Keep fighting strong :)
    
    May 15, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy, Deleted Account, spaces and 1 other person like this.
12. +TenPercent
  Day 15 - Bodily urges. How often I'm tempted to just O and start all over. I mustn't!! I want to stay on course until it becomes my normal.
  
  May 14, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Sammyforthewin and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Deleted Account
    That's the spirit!
    
    May 14, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy, +TenPercent, Sammyforthewin and 1 other person like this.
13. +TenPercent
  Day 14 - major milestone. The worst of my post-orgasmic turmoil should be over now. Not feeling it, though. Going to 2 meetings tonight . .
  
  May 13, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Sammyforthewin and Deleted Account like this.
14. +TenPercent
  Day 13 - Great meeting last night. 4 in 2 days. Couldn't sleep, tho. Co-worker fantasies. Gym, 10+ hour work day, then meeting tonight. Ugh.
  
  May 12, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Deleted Account and Sammyforthewin like this.
  2. +TenPercent
    Had a less than perfect day, but despite feeling really tired, I think I mostly made good choices.
    Skipped the gym, work was good, the meeting was okay.
    Really looking forward to honouring 2 weeks without an orgasm tomorrow afternoon!
    
    May 12, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy and Deleted Account like this.
15. +TenPercent
  Day 12 - three meetings in the past 24 hours. Feeling better. Need a sufficient alternative to porn and fantasy. Need real connection.
  
  May 11, 2019
  1. Deleted Account, Sammyforthewin, Coffee Candy and 1 other person like this.
16. +TenPercent
  Day 11 - really want to make it to 100 and beyond. Planning to do 90 (recovery) meetings in 90 days to help me get there. Starting today.
  
  May 10, 2019
  1. Deleted Account, Coffee Candy, Sammyforthewin and 1 other person like this.
17. +TenPercent
  Day 10 - totally wrecked today, work is dragging me down. Going to take a break from the porn purging, digging it up takes a lot out of me.
  
  May 9, 2019
  1. Deleted Account, Coffee Candy, Sammyforthewin and 1 other person like this.
  2. Coffee Candy
    Good work on double digits! :+) Keep going strong and be careful.
    
    May 10, 2019
    
    Deleted Account and +TenPercent like this.
  3. +TenPercent
    Thank you Coffee Candy (AKA Sprinkles) for the support and encouragement. Better today, but it's definitely tempting to purge more porn!
    We'll see. Little by little. One day at a time.
    
    May 10, 2019
    
    Deleted Account and Coffee Candy like this.
18. +TenPercent
  Day 9 - Deleted (and looked at) porn last night, emotionally unhinged today. Deleted 10 more images, destroyed 4 DVDs, threw out 2 magazines
  
  May 8, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy and TrafficSignal like this.
  2. TrafficSignal
    Don't leave roots after cutting tree... Be strong, be bold and do it once for all.. I know you can
    
    May 8, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy and +TenPercent like this.
19. +TenPercent
  Day 8 - If I want to get well and if I want a gf (like my work crush) in my life, why do I still have porn??
  
  May 7, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Deleted Account, TrafficSignal and 1 other person like this.
  2. View previous comments...
  3. +TenPercent
    Just deleted (permanently) 10 images off my phone and partially 16 more. Out of about 50. It's stupid. They're digital. I can fill my phone with new images in an hour.
    The hard part is that I had to look at them to delete them and got very aroused. The shameful part is that the worst (hottest) ones I couldn't delete. Not yet.
    Still, that's 10 less.
    
    May 7, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  4. +TenPercent
    Permanently deleted 10 more.
    Ugh. This isn't easy. My addict mind wanted to look at more, which is partly why I looked at more to delete.
    Had to stop. Breathe really heavy, pray, listen to meditation music and read Cupid's Poisoned Arrow.
    Focus on healing.
    Looking at porn to delete it could easily turn into a slip!
    
    May 8, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  5. Coffee Candy
    Good job!! :)
    
    May 8, 2019
    
    +TenPercent likes this.
20. Coffee Candy
  Whoohoo! %10+ you're doing awesome, look @ you on 1 week already! You're tough stuff.
  
  May 7, 2019
  1. +TenPercent likes this.
  2. +TenPercent
    Thank you! Right now I'm wondering how the heck I made it to 125 days. But also seeing that this is life or death. Sounds a bit extreme, but PMO is not living, it's dying. I want to live!! Need to go to any lengths to get well.
    
    May 7, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  3. Coffee Candy
    Yah its hard as hell at first lol. As the days keep going by it should become a little easier.
    Nice mindset. You'll make it back to the top again soon enough!
    
    May 7, 2019
    
    +TenPercent likes this.
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Wanting to save ALL of my sexual energy for my girlfriend. No M, and def no P!
Zero unauthorized voluntary releases (of 6) in 2020: (1/4, 1/14, 1/31, 2/14, 2/21, 3/14) vs 5 (of 18) in 2019: (4/29, 9/10, 10/8, 10/8, 10/13, 10/16, 11/2, 11/6, 11/8, 11/13, 11/30, 12/2, 12/8, 12/8, 12/11, 12/12, 12/19, 12/20), 40 (of 43) in 2018 and 82 (of 82) in 2017.
Haven't really jerked off since 12/23/2017. Wet dreams in bold, partial releases underlined, unauthorized voluntary releases (AKA M) in red.
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