+TenPercent

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Day 76 - 2020 has struck again, what a long slog this has been. Sep 26, 2020 at 9:39 PM

+TenPercent was last seen:: Sep 26, 2020 at 9:37 PM

1. +TenPercent
  Day 57 - Karezza!! Made love w my gf and it was amazing! Oral + O for her. And I got what I wanted - connection, her pleasure, no O for me.
  
  Sep 6, 2020
  1. Brooke_Lynn, BurgerChamp and zeusmx like this.
  2. +TenPercent
    It was really passionate. Hasn't been like that in a long time. Possibly because I've been really struggling/aroused lately and haven't had an O for 36 days? Could be.
    Truly, I felt like all my sexual tension was released, but I get wound up again if I reflect on it too much.
    
    Sep 6, 2020
    
    Brooke_Lynn, BurgerChamp and zeusmx like this.
2. +TenPercent
  Day 56 - still no M, but slipped with porn again. Ugh. A lot on my plate. I need to push on through and get through it, not escape with porn
  
  Sep 5, 2020
  1. Anubis Rises, ......., Swazzy 1 and 4 others like this.
  2. Starman123
    You'll get through it.
    
    Sep 5, 2020
    
    BurgerChamp, +TenPercent, ....... and 3 others like this.
3. +TenPercent
  Day 55 - Still have not M'd but looked at SPH p-subs last night and this morning. Discovered a new search term, oops. Today is better, tho.
  
  Sep 4, 2020
  1. BurgerChamp, Wonkey, OoMahidoO and 1 other person like this.
  2. +TenPercent
    Despite the internet searches (which I feel are forgivable seeing how yesterday was extraordinarily difficult) and the fact that I saved a dozen highly triggering photos to my phone, and the thought has crossed my mind to look at them or search more . . . I haven't done either. A bit of success IMO.
    
    Sep 4, 2020
    
    BurgerChamp likes this.
4. +TenPercent
  Day 54 - Bad day got much worse. Felt like crying all afternoon at work. Tempted to put a little SPH porny porn on my phone for emergencies.
  
  Sep 3, 2020
  1. BurgerChamp, Anubis Rises, Knighthawk and 1 other person like this.
  2. +TenPercent
    Found one SPH image in my photos. Oops. Technically maybe not porn (no nudity) but sexy image and very toxic messaging. Of course my first thought is "maybe if I had a few more . . . "
    Deleted it. Restored it. Hid it. Ugh. Feel like I really need that.
    
    Sep 3, 2020
    
    BurgerChamp, Knighthawk and thinking_differently like this.
  3. thinking_differently
    Delete. Go on.
    
    Sep 3, 2020
    
    BurgerChamp, +TenPercent, Knighthawk and 1 other person like this.
5. +TenPercent
  Day 53 - high anxiety, mild burning sensation in the tip of my penis, upset stomach. Struggling at work … ugh
  
  Sep 3, 2020
  1. BurgerChamp, Protector of Hope, Grow_out_of_it and 3 others like this.
  2. amaranth
    Hang in there
    
    Sep 3, 2020
    
    BurgerChamp, +TenPercent, Warrior Within and 3 others like this.
  3. Knighthawk
    The hardest days are when we grow the most. Keep trodding on brother!
    
    Sep 3, 2020
    
    BurgerChamp, Leader of ME, +TenPercent and 6 others like this.
6. +TenPercent
  Day 52 - A couple of set backs this afternoon. Kind of down today. Or maybe depression is what I need after 3 months of go, go, go . . .
  
  Sep 2, 2020
  1. MarioVargas likes this.
  2. MarioVargas
    Come on buddy!! strong to the end
    
    Sep 2, 2020
7. +TenPercent
  Day 51 - totally wiped out from August, but so grateful that it has passed and looking forward to the month ahead! :)
  
  Sep 1, 2020
  1. Protector of Hope, Warrior Within and thinking_differently like this.
8. +TenPercent
  Day 50 - Halfway to triple digits!! And almost through this month though I feel like I might nut right before the finish line.
  
  Aug 31, 2020
  1. Meisterkatze, fg4795, Protector of Hope and 1 other person like this.
  2. The Symbol of Hope
    DON'T YOU DARE! Stop doing the same mistake over and over again.
    
    Aug 31, 2020
    
    Meisterkatze, fg4795, Protector of Hope and 2 others like this.
  3. Protector of Hope
    Can only confirm what @The Legend of Hope just said. Don't you dare nutting now man. Stay focused!
    
    Aug 31, 2020
    
    Meisterkatze, +TenPercent, fg4795 and 1 other person like this.
9. +TenPercent
  Day 49 - Moving out. Last time I moved I had a “spontaneous” O from all the stress and pushing myself so hard. Have that feeling again.
  
  Aug 30, 2020
  1. Protector of Hope, fg4795 and thinking_differently like this.
10. +TenPercent
  Day 48 - somehow still going, almost through this month. Grateful for my gf. Hope to get my sh*t together in other areas (health) next month
  
  Aug 29, 2020
  1. Protector of Hope, Starman123, Akeakua and 4 others like this.
11. +TenPercent
  Day 47 - Pushing through. Must needs get through this month. Lots of summertime eye candy triggering urges. Must needs stay strong.
  
  Aug 28, 2020
  1. Protector of Hope, vxlccm, Warrior Within and 2 others like this.
12. +TenPercent
  Day 46 still . . . feeling pretty nutty, as in anxious and my body feeling like it'll nut. Not sure which causes which. Too much "s" energy.
  
  Aug 27, 2020
  1. zeusmx, vxlccm, Symbol of Peace and 5 others like this.
  2. thinking_differently
    Workout? Dance it out? Sing it out?
    
    Aug 27, 2020
    
    vxlccm, Symbol of Peace, +TenPercent and 2 others like this.
13. +TenPercent
  Day 46 - Looked at P on day 43 and it could have spiralled into M so easily . . . but I seem to be walking back from that cliff. Grateful.
  
  Aug 27, 2020
  1. Symbol of Peace, |Useless|, Swazzy 1 and 4 others like this.
  2. thinking_differently
    Don’t touch that Diggg.
    
    Aug 27, 2020
    
    Symbol of Peace, |Useless|, Dojokyoto and 2 others like this.
  3. TransverseWaves
    This was me on day 10, it was hard to resist but afterwards I think it only strengthens your resolve to continue.
    
    Aug 27, 2020
    
    Symbol of Peace, |Useless|, Protector of Hope and 1 other person like this.
  4. Symbol of Peace
    Good work on NOT doing that!
    
    Aug 28, 2020
    
    +TenPercent and thinking_differently like this.
14. +TenPercent
  Day 45 - amazed and kinda proud that I did not M in the last 24 hrs, and no Porn! Being super busy helped, being super stressed did not.
  
  Aug 26, 2020
  1. zeusmx, vxlccm, Warrior Within and 1 other person like this.
15. +TenPercent
  Day 44 or 1 or 0? - goal is no M, but looked at P (just a little . . .), high anxiety and blue balls now, could lead to a slip regardless.
  
  Aug 25, 2020
  1. Thors, kaia, Protector of Hope and 2 others like this.
16. kaia
  just curious...but it looks like you are about to or already deciding to give in like 50% of the time and yet your day count keeps climbing? da fuq??
  
  Aug 24, 2020
  1. +TenPercent and Protector of Hope like this.
  2. View previous comments...
  3. kaia
    did you M at all? M without O? M later with the material fresh in your mind? all this stuff, in relation to the defined goal and specific individual steps you have outlined as being in recovery.
    
    Aug 25, 2020
    
    +TenPercent likes this.
  4. +TenPercent
    Thank you kaia for your supportive feedback! :)
    I will probably call it a slip but not a relapse IF i can move on without slipping back. If I find myself looking for SPH porn again in the near future, it will be clear that I have lost my way.
    
    Aug 25, 2020
  5. +TenPercent
    I did not M at all, though I might have been close to an O even without touching. This is possible after a long streak, a really big dopamine hit from porn coupled with slightest friction against sheets or clothing can trigger an O. I find myself in those moments 1/4 hoping that it happens like that and half hoping that it turns into a wet dream.
    
    Aug 25, 2020
17. +TenPercent
  Day 43 - Anger most of the day, not arousal. Then exhaustion (10+ hr workday), then temptation to seek arousal to change the way I feel. Ugh
  
  Aug 24, 2020
  1. Protector of Hope, Dragon Birth, Cognac and 2 others like this.
  2. Dojokyoto
    If we can feel passionate about our job then it's best for our mind body and soul. It's not easy to achieve. Wish you peace of mind.
    
    Aug 24, 2020
    
    Protector of Hope and Dragon Birth like this.
  3. kaia
    hey, being able to call it out is half the battle. make it into a comic skit and you get bonus points!
    
    just wanted to say hi. :p
    
    Aug 24, 2020
    
    +TenPercent, Dojokyoto and Protector of Hope like this.
18. +TenPercent
  Day 42 - Karezza this morning!! So lovely, and better than sex with O. But then triggered by br*less girl at work and now - intense arousal!
  
  Aug 23, 2020
  1. The Passenger likes this.
  2. The Passenger
    Yes, but remember braless girl at work could be a total headwrecking bitch. You love your gf and have a connection with her that braless girl can't match. If braless girl tempts you again just think lovely thoughts of gf and that porn brain is trying to subvert you with braless girl. Good luck friend!
    
    Aug 23, 2020
    
    +TenPercent likes this.
  3. +TenPercent
    Good point. I wish I could think so rationally when the urges hit so hard. I know there is zero possibility that I would hook up with this girl - she's less than half my age, and pretty much zero possibility that I would hook up with anyone other than my great gf. But it's that visual stimulus that I'm addicted to. "braless" was one of my favourite searches and that will often hit me harder than actual porn.
    
    Aug 24, 2020
    
    The Passenger and kaia like this.
  4. kaia
    braless is only a couple letters away from brainless. hehehee
    
    Aug 24, 2020
    
    +TenPercent and The Passenger like this.
19. +TenPercent
  Day 41 - Longest month ever (+heat wave). Near the breaking point. Strong cravings for some of my worst fetishes . . .
  
  Aug 22, 2020
  1. Mr. Crab, tiger-uppercut!, Protector of Hope and 2 others like this.
20. +TenPercent
  Day 40 - Moving. And so run down, I feel like I might cry (good) and/or like I could spontaneously O (not so good). Ugh. Can't stop now.
  
  Aug 21, 2020
  1. Warrior Within, Roady, Thors and 1 other person like this.
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No M since 7/12, no O since 8/1. I am an orgasm addict and my goal is karezza.
Crime-fighter in the BATMAN CHALLENGE
14 unauthorized voluntary releases (i.e. M) (of 29) in 2020: (1/4, 1/14, 1/31, 2/14, 2/21, 3/14, 4/8, 4/11, 4/13, 4/19, 4/20, 4/25, 5/15, 5/20,5/22, 6/3, 6/4, 6/7, 6/10, 6/17, 6/20, 6/24, 6/28, 6/29, 7/2, 7/6, 7/12, 7/25, 8/1) vs 5 (of 18) in 2019, 40 (of 43) in 2018 and 82 (of 82) in 2017. Wet dreams and involuntary releases in bold, partial releases underlined, unauthorized voluntary releases (AKA M) in red
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