+TenPercent

Fapstronaut

Day 31 - gave my girlfriend oral this morning and cuddled. Feel like I made up for my PE on Monday :) But, now I'm all turned on & craving O Dec 7, 2019 at 11:03 AM

+TenPercent was last seen:: Dec 7, 2019 at 11:03 AM

1. +TenPercent
  Day 8 - Didn't M. Had O w/ gf . . . too quickly. Triggered by (and triggering) "dark fantasies". Slept poorly, very poorly. Feel broken.
  
  Nov 14, 2019
  1. Brooke_Lynn, Meisterkatze, LEPAGE and 2 others like this.
  2. L'empereur
    take control, this girl is trolling your mind .
    
    Nov 14, 2019
    
    Brooke_Lynn, Meisterkatze, +TenPercent and 1 other person like this.
  3. +TenPercent
    Hmm . . . I think it might be more like my addict mind is trolling my soul and my gf might be getting caught in the crossfire, poor girl.
    I have unhealthy / emasculating fantasies about PE. And those thoughts (addict mind) clouded out loving feelings for her and led me to PE. Normally that's not an issue for me, but the fantasies were too strong.
    
    Nov 14, 2019
    
    Brooke_Lynn and Meisterkatze like this.
2. +TenPercent
  Day 7 - Urges! Still debating whether I should M. Seeing gf tonight. Don't want to not have desire, don't want to use her to get off.
  
  Nov 13, 2019
  1. Brooke_Lynn and Sammyforthewin like this.
  2. rooski42
    stay the course. let the sex in your relationship be female led. the sex is better if it comes from them in the end anyway.
    
    Nov 13, 2019
    
    Brooke_Lynn, Sammyforthewin and +TenPercent like this.
3. +TenPercent
  Day 6 - 12h 32 m work day. No sugar. Headache since noon. Feel physically ill, depleted. Sleep now & do it again. Tempted to M and "unwind"
  
  Nov 12, 2019
  1. Brooke_Lynn, Meisterkatze, LEPAGE and 2 others like this.
4. +TenPercent
  Day 6 - thought I might CHOOSE to M last night . . Wasn't feeling it, tho. 12+ hour workday ahead. Cutting back on sugar and caffeine today.
  
  Nov 12, 2019
  1. Brooke_Lynn, Muphy, spaces and 1 other person like this.
5. +TenPercent
  Day 5 - still frustrated and pissed off about the shirts (though I got them washed today) and occasionally hit with strong urges to M.
  
  Nov 11, 2019
  1. Brooke_Lynn, spaces and L'empereur like this.
6. +TenPercent
  Day 4 - My work is making me stay late on day 3 of 5 when I only have 3 shirts (no time for laundry!). So frustrated. Must not M over this.
  
  Nov 10, 2019
  1. Brooke_Lynn, IbrahimViking, LEPAGE and 1 other person like this.
  2. +TenPercent
    What dicks.
    I had plans to wash my shirts (they only gave me three) on day 3. Now I will either have to miss my recovery meeting on day 2 (or stay up hella late at a laundromat on night 2 or 3) or show up to work on day 4 with a dirty shirt.
    
    Nov 10, 2019
    
    Brooke_Lynn likes this.
7. +TenPercent
  Day 2 - contemplating whether I should call that last slip a relapse. How different is it from O during sex? Haven't JO'd or PMO'd in ages.
  
  Nov 8, 2019
  1. Tryin' Hard, Coffee Candy and Loving Loveless like this.
  2. View previous comments...
  3. Coffee Candy
    Thanks lol I tried. What does LTR stand for?
    
    Nov 8, 2019
    
    Brooke_Lynn and +TenPercent like this.
  4. +TenPercent
    LTR = Long Term Relationship :)
    
    Nov 8, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  5. Tryin' Hard
    I know what you mean. That's good, though. We need to examine ourselves and our triggers and if immense guilt can help us remember for the future, in a sense I guess the fall was worth it. (Doesn't change that it was a relapse, but it is better than failing being the end all and be all) My prayers are with you!
    
    Nov 8, 2019
    
    +TenPercent likes this.
8. +TenPercent
  Day 1 - Had an O y'day doing crunches, felt so defeated. Deep sense of failure. Karezza w/ my gf that night - so healing!! Feeling good now.
  
  Nov 7, 2019
  1. Tryin' Hard and Coffee Candy like this.
9. +TenPercent
  Day 0 - Relapsed. Guess it was bound to happen. Feeling empty and sad. A bit hopeless. But trying to see the silver lining . . .
  
  Nov 6, 2019
  1. Tryin' Hard, Deleted Account and Coffee Candy like this.
  2. Coffee Candy
    Noe.
    Ok but you made it to 191 amazing days thats one 0 out of 191.Dont let it drag you deep down..get back up soon !
    
    Nov 6, 2019
    
    +TenPercent and Warrior Within like this.
  3. Deleted Account
    The feelings are normal but don’t let them drag you into a binge. You’re still kicking ass and one slip doesn’t do anything to all the progress you’ve made
    
    Nov 6, 2019
    
    +TenPercent and Warrior Within like this.
10. +TenPercent
  Day 191 - Could it be true? Will my gf again consider letting me abstain from orgasms during sex? Praying for guidance, support & success.
  
  Nov 6, 2019
  1. Tryin' Hard, Coffee Candy, Warrior Within and 1 other person like this.
  2. L'empereur
    Don't rely on anybody.
    
    Nov 6, 2019
    
    Warrior Within and +TenPercent like this.
  3. +TenPercent
    Still stuggling with powerful urges. Chaser effect. Fantasies have quite a hold on me.
    Need to recognise that I am on day 4 without an O, so more or less right back at the beginning.
    
    Nov 6, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  4. Coffee Candy
    I hope she can be strong enough to let you do what you ned to do for right now..which is for the eventual best of the relationship..but i get her I would want my man to cum too lol :b Keep strong, +10%... You just make sure you do some activities to avoid falling down..! Please.
    
    Nov 6, 2019
    
    +TenPercent likes this.
11. +TenPercent
  Day 190 - Tempted to (started to?) M at work. Ugh. Just a little touch mixed with shame and anxiety and I could have relapsed in seconds.
  
  Nov 5, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Coffee Candy
    Dontttt..you're flirting with a huge void lol it'll suck you through
    
    Nov 6, 2019
    
    +TenPercent likes this.
12. +TenPercent
  Day 189 - Chasers, ugh. And keep thinking that I gave into my gf too easily, submissive, having fantasies about where this might lead . . .
  
  Nov 4, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy and Deleted Account like this.
13. +TenPercent
  Day 188 - Gf said either we both have O's or we stop having sex. I'm going to have to learn how to live with O's and chasers.
  
  Nov 3, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy and Fixmybrain like this.
  2. Fixmybrain
    Dealing with the same shit man. NoFap would be so much easier otherwise
    
    Nov 3, 2019
    
    +TenPercent likes this.
14. +TenPercent
  Day 186 - Ugh, anxiety. Crazy sexual desire and urges. The device would help. Calms me down. I guess its a crutch, but going to see gf soon.
  
  Nov 1, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Ash_says and Deleted Account like this.
  2. +TenPercent
    Device on. Ugh. I'm feeling a lot of shame for having to use this, especially knowing that I'm going to see my gf soon.
    I feel almost as much shame as if I felt compelled to M or look at P before seeing her, or just how I used to have to M every time I felt anxious (even at work!)
    But I know I'm doing well. Still recovering from 4 O's in 8 days.
    
    Nov 1, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy likes this.
15. +TenPercent
  Day 185 - started off really strong and held up throughout a long day, but by the end of it all . . . urges. Time to restore.
  
  Oct 31, 2019
  1. hopefuldude and Coffee Candy like this.
16. +TenPercent
  Day 184 - and 14 days since my last O (with gf) . . . theoretically this is where I should be mostly recovered from that O . .theoretically.
  
  Oct 30, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Warrior Within and Deleted Account like this.
  2. View previous comments...
  3. +TenPercent
    @Coffee Candy - we actually met in AA (alcohol) but I think I get where she's coming from. I'd be freaked out dating a sex addict, too!
    I spilled pretty much everything early on in our dating, but I think it's still really hard for her to really understand it. But, so far at least, she does accept my desire (need) to avoid orgasm.
    
    Oct 31, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  4. +TenPercent
    I don't know what I will do if I ever relapse. That could be really hard to explain.
    (or, depending on what happens, it may be something that's better not to tell her?)
    I've also been relying sometimes on a chastity device. Eventually she's probably going to have to find out about that . . .
    I think she'd be ok with it. But it still worries me.
    
    Oct 31, 2019
  5. Coffee Candy
    Hehe, I was wrong, sorry ':)
    Ya..it would be a little scary..
    
    communication is key you know :) I am wishing the best for you guys and I'm rooting for your streak :)
    
    Oct 31, 2019
    
    +TenPercent likes this.
17. +TenPercent
  Day 183 - Half a year without masturbating!!! Hooray! And I haven't looked at porn in months. I hope I never P or M (or O?) again! :D
  
  Oct 29, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, A leaf, Warrior Within and 5 others like this.
  2. SirErnest
    Great work man. If/when you have time, please tell us more on the Success Stories forum. Not many on there of late, and for me personally they really help. Bravo!
    
    Oct 29, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy, A leaf, Warrior Within and 4 others like this.
  3. Coffee Candy
    Thats pretty damn amazing.
    I hope you never PMO again :) I hope you get to a safe state of Oing with your gf without too many chasers for PMO or MOing alone. Keep it up, chammp
    
    Oct 31, 2019
    
    +TenPercent likes this.
  4. +TenPercent
    Thank you both for your support!
    And yes, I think I'm about due for posting in the Success Stories . . . :)
    And I do hope that I find that balance (so incredibly grateful for a supportive girlfriend who told me about two weeks ago that I don't ever have to O again!). I'm optimistic most of the time.
    Hopefully I'm on the right track!!
    
    Oct 31, 2019
    
    SirErnest and Coffee Candy like this.
18. +TenPercent
  Day 182 - twelve days now since my last orgasm and feel like my world is no longer unravelling. I'm back in the game! :)
  
  Oct 28, 2019
  1. Coffee Candy, Anubis Rises and Sammyforthewin like this.
19. +TenPercent
  Day 181 - worn out from working all weekend but very, very grateful that I'm not struggling with sexual urges right now.
  
  Oct 27, 2019
  1. Anubis Rises, Coffee Candy, Warrior Within and 4 others like this.
  2. Dojokyoto
    Great!
    
    Oct 27, 2019
    
    +TenPercent, Coffee Candy, Warrior Within and 3 others like this.
  3. Coffee Candy
    Nice job on 181 days :) Happy that you're not struggling with sexual urges
    
    Oct 28, 2019
    
    +TenPercent likes this.
  4. +TenPercent
    @Coffee Candy @Dojokyoto Thank you!
    There are a lot of things that I need to do (or avoid) in order to stay sexually sane and healthy, but I think that, for me, avoiding orgasms is HUGE-ly important.
    Also, I think being intimate with my partner and focusing on giving (rather than getting off) is very healing.
    
    Oct 28, 2019
    
    Coffee Candy likes this.
20. +TenPercent
  Day 180 - Giving oral and Karezza . . . and no orgasm (for me) = so much relief from sexual tension. I feel fantastic!! <3
  
  Oct 26, 2019
  1. aspiringwriter1997, Anubis Rises, Deleted Account and 1 other person like this.
  2. +TenPercent
    Still feeling great. Karezza is supposed to relieve sexual tension and I feel much relieved. :)
    Some vasocongestion, but no urges, not struggling with those naughty fantasies. And all that after a long day at work. Ha!
    
    Oct 26, 2019
    
    aspiringwriter1997, Deleted Account and Coffee Candy like this.
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Struggling with SPH, PE and Cuck Fantasies, but it all gets better (not worse!) if I can stay away from PMO.
Twelve releases in 2019: 4/29, 9/10, 10/8, 10/8, 10/13, 10/16, 11/2, 11/6, 11/8, 11/13, 11/30, 12/2. Had 43 in 2018 vs 82 in 2017.
Haven't really jerked off since 12/23/2017. Met a girl in August. Wet dreams & involuntary releases in bold, partial releases underlined
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